Wednesday…November 11th…smaller than small….but it can break a windshield….!!!!

“In or Out” 2009

“Great acts are made up of small deeds” Lao Tzu

he asked what island I was from….where it was on the globe….”the most round part of the world”…I told him…where the small rocks grow…or maybe it was ant farming and neither one of us knew where…”Where” was…but either way…you could hold it in your hand…like a precious gem…or a some dug up treasure from maybe a million years ago….but it wasn’t what it was…and it was what it wasn’t….and that’s me made me question if the mist felt like rain……

Suiseki…is the art of stone appreiciation…this art has an enormous protocal….with all of the elements of martial arts…ikebana….bonsai…and wabi sabi…there are different schools of thought….and different methods of collecting…treating and displaying Suiseki…I know just enough to be dangerous about this subject….but I do enjoy looking at them and knowing what is right there in front of me is exactly what it is…..

Mountain with a glacier

Distant Mountain

Distant Mountain Range

Looks like New Mexico……

I have to keep reminding myself that the small things in my life are the most important….the ones that will matter when all else has been forgotten or become faded….it is those small things that build to create the large…that make the structure sound…and solid….

I always prefer a sandy beach with tiny bits of sand over a large rocky beach….

Tuesday…November 10th…It’s Art Tuesday…look at a few paintings…..tell me what you think…..

“All the little Houses” 2009.

I decided it would be nice to explore current artist’s work every Tuesday…my thoughts….your thoughts…the works I have picked are from some of my favorite artists…as well as artists I just discovered….I am drawn to their work for a variety of reason…but I see in each of these paintings some incredible things.. I strive to develop in my own work….I also thought it would be a good idea to mention some of the galleries I have been to on a few weekend excursions…so grab a nice cup of coffee…a bagel or some fruit…and relax…enjoy the paintings…..

John Currin

I like Currin’s work because it is just a little tweaked…necks are a bit longer than normal….bodies seem more drastic in a way…more accentuated. John Currin seems to play with the obvious in a way that makes me look twice….or a few hundred times….

Jim Waid

Jim Waid’s paintings for me are like a journey into some surreal landscape…a place where everything is so clearly  unpredictable…

Do Hoang Tuong

These paintings are incredible…to me they are so stark and blunt….it is as if the image can stare right through me…I really enjoy how the expression is so nondescript….blank…but at the same time speaks volumes….

Fabian Marcaccio

Fabian Marcaccio is by far one of my favorite painters. His work is very visceral…raw…and sophisticated…there is always something familiar when I look at his work…something I think I might know about…for some rason….

H. Joe Waldrum

saw these paintings at the Rio Bravo Fine Art Gallery in Truth or Consequences…(Thanks StevenArt for the tip) and to say the least they were staggering. The paintings are large…..thick layered…and as complex as a bee’s social structure….the paintings were very difficult for me to walk away from as they are just so captivating…the visual was incredible…the technical equally as exhilarating…..

here is the website to a gallery I visited this weekend….

http://www.riobravofineart.net/index.htm

what an incredible experience….the gallery carries such an incredible array of work…and offers so much to see and experience it is well worth the drive to Tor C. The Artist in residence is Bill Brown, he is working on a series of ink on paper that is really going to be exceptional…I am looking forward to his show….

Bill and Susan

Monday…November 9th…. whatever blows your skirt up…..Me…I’m building inventory and eating cupcakes…..

“Caught Me a Selfish” 2009

“We must become the change we want to see”…Mahatma Ghandi

I saw this piece of graffiti this weekend…and it started me thinking of the traps I have set for myself…..and for others….and I have to say I wondered why…I would choose walking through a mine field wearing snowshoes…over….walking without worry about….it all……and it came down to one thing…and the one thing I have complete and utter control over……CHOICE……

there comes the time in all of our lives we must all face things about ourselves…we can acknowledge our strengths…the great and powerful things about us…all of the nuances we find make us a driving…forward…moving force….we may be proud of our attributes…what we have done and where we stand today…we can list our qualities….the many things about us that separate us from all others…what we are…what we have become…and what we will inevitably be…but…

we also each…know our  truth exclusively….the truth of our depths…..what we don’t say…what we don’t do…what we do….and maybe shouldn’t…how we have learned to tie the knots that secure things…people…in our lives….for as long as we want them…without offering freedom….what we dislike…criticize…. condem….are often a reflection of ourselves…we are afraid to acknowledge….recognize the flaw….or admit that may be us….how we define our personal honor…integrity…credibility….trust…amd truth….are the same ingredients for everyone…just in different amounts…… different frequencies….different concentations…you may offer honor in small doses…yet expect integrety from others in large quantity….or demand absolute truth yet your truth is shallow and vacant…there is no possible way anyone of us can ask for something we….are not willing to give in return….perhaps it is because who we are….we expect what we want….to just happen…without putting forth the effort…without acknowleging the truth behind our intention…the real reason why….

maybe it’s inventory time…time to really figure out if….what your’re putting forward is worth what you are expecting in return….is the exchange equitable….and the walk away is a feeling of mutual satisfaction…or are you trying to make your quarter spend like a twenty dollar bill….in hopes no one notices the discrepency….it all returns….all comes back home….like bees to the hive….

we are inherently good…filled with love….compassion and joy for ourselves and others…there is always something about creating a place with people who offers security….trust….and well being…..our alignments are very important…..yet how we developed those alignments is the foundation for who we are….this time of year is a great time of year to build personal inventory…realizing that we are the reflection of our world requires we take the steps to make things right…

today is my stand……inventory sheet in hand…a few ball point pens…a calculator….a 1-800 number…support team wearing light blue polo shirts…and a little come to Jesus meeting…I’m confidant…by week’s end….inventory will be close to complete…my smile will be bigger….more genuine…I’ll probably be stepping a little higher….because the muck that has been dirtying up my shoes will be long washed into the gutter….and I’ll have a Hostess cupcake…with a single candle…. to celebrate my liberation…..I’ll take pictures….just in case…..

Saturday November 7th….Saturday…..a great a day to spend with My boy M.I.C.K.E.Y

“Deceased Couple” 2009

“Chance favors the prepared mind.” ~ Louis Pasteur

a Saturday…like no other…ever….a unique fingerprint….a way of listening without hearing….a sound….quiet…quiet…quiet…old dogs never leave the porch…as far as I know…or at least that’s what it said in the “Old Dog manual”…page 61…..it’s like that one green leaf…there…somehow…didn’t get the message….or that lone duck flying north…November 25th….making waves…causing big ripples…on the small picture….just like the one grammy ono has…of those naked black children….from somewhere in Africa…the ones with fruit…and flowers…you know…they wear them like clothes…with the painted white and rust colored dots….on their faces….rimmed in those beautiful branches….she said she cried when she saw the pictures….and she said she had the book….and she asked where they were from….I said Detroit….but I knew they wouldn’t believe me….it was way to cold for that…..far up north where that big lake lives…..

I couldn’t shake the feeling….it was stapled to me…was why…..and each time I shook…it hurt…but 3 aspirin..an 8oz glass of water…and some rest was going to make removing the staples…painless…the drive there would be light….clear light….not knowing if the rooms were air conditioned…or heated…and I guess it really depended on if I wore everything….or nothing….that mattered…so they dealt the cards…I picked up the ones I wanted…really the ones that looked like the other ones…but different….in way that special glasses were required…always…always…always…never look at the glowing glob without the special glasses….I didn’t say that…the big sign above where the glowing glob is says that…and the reason I guess is clear…or unclear without the glasses….it’s those candy colors that are still left in the trees…at the park…by my house…in the city….the ones I need to lay down on the ground…cover myself with a few leaves and…take the photo…the one for posterity’s sake….

when it died….I will admit I was releaved….there was never going to be chances again…and knowing that was the icing…not on the cake…but still in the large…red colored bowl with the white insides…that was as close to the cake as it mattered….and no matter what they played …or sang if they Arias….there was going to be a deep quiet….one that had that tomb door sound…thick slate….steel…and all of the water birds…would fly overhead…making those screeching noises….oblivious to the dark sounds…within…. but we were freed…just a  boat with some wooden things some guy called oars…that made little sense…since we were…a few miles inland….and the ocean smell was long gone from the clothes I wore a few years ago…they called her Mary because she didn’t like her really…name…I think it was Marilyn….or something close to Mary…she just wanted change…a way to write with her other hand…but still be readable….and I guess….we all wanted that…it was just difficult to voice our ideas….when the waves crashed so noisily on the rocks……there where those rusted car parts were…..

a Saturday…like no other….I spilled the water from the thermos…watched it puddle on the floor….today….is going to be just fine…….

Friday…November 6th…Channeling Willa Cather….Tom Cochrane…and Caravaggio….since 1991

“One day Left in Babylon” 2009

“Fall seven times, stand up eight.” Japanese Proverb

today is a go day….much to do with a wonderful conclusion…already built into the story…tonight is the last showing of my paintings I am going to do for a while here in New Mexico….I have many good reasons…enough so that I am very comfortable with my decision…

I have found art is an interesting beast…there are many facets to the profession…some I am excited about…others I am not…as an artist…my job really is to paint…nothing more….yet in that statement “Nothing more” exists a great deal more…..more than I am wanting at this juncture of my career…so rather than embrace it…I choose to take a small hiatus from it…figure out a way I….perhaps may bypass all of the unfortunate junk that goes with the label “Artist”…as there are many  methods and ways of being a successful painter….

defining success is the pool I have been swimming in…is it money…notariaty…..fame…best gallery representation…it may be all of these as well as none of these…each of us as artists must define what we call success and what success looks like…to us…in order to attain it or not….the career “Artist” is an interesting job title….it is broad reaching…has a universal definition…yet no solid…envelope to put one’s qualifications into…that the world says…”You are an artist”….it is all proven by one thing….and one thing exclusivly…”THE WORK”

the work and the committment are what matter…outside of that…the rest is a waste of time….I think of the conversations I’ve had with my mentors…and they all say the same thing…just keep painting…no matter what….this goes back to the book….”The Outliers” by Malcom Gladwell…he says mastery comes at somewhere around the 10,000 hour mark….I’ve a friend that tells me the first 10,000 pots are just practice…10,001….is when things start happening…..I like that mentality….because it truly does separate the artists…from the rest…..

I have a great deal of respect for these older painters…the ones who remind me of older karate ka…who have painted for such a long time…they don’t think about it….it is to them as breathing is to the rest of the planet….they are the work….

my  art show is tonight at DreamScape Gallery  on 5th street and Bellamah from 5:30-8:30…I hope to see you there….there about 12 paintings ranging from small paintings on paper….to a fewin the 4 foot range…I will also have some newer jewelry I’ve been working on….

what lies ahead…though unknown will be revealed…and as the lovely Willa Cather once said…”Art, it seems to me, should simplify”….see you soon….

Thursday…November 5th…Today’s list….20 things that are the opposite of You….now be that person for an hour….

“Mama’s Little Girl” 2009

“Shadow owes its birth to light.” John Gay

the whole notion of contrast becomes a very Taoist discourse…the ability to understand that without certain elements…other elements do not exist…or can exist…I may be stepping over the edge by saying nothing then exists…therefore contrast is the key element to the existence of what we see every day….

Contrast: To compare in order to show unlikeness or differences; note the opposite natures.

is there an opposite of everything…a contrasting counterpart  that not only reflects the differences of the other…but substatiates the existence of the other….do contrasting elements necessarily get along…or by their differences do they have opposing ideologies…and actions….call it Yin Yang…or duality…

what matters is today…your task is to find something that has no contrast…..this can be taken down to minute levels…I was thinking what is the contrasting element of a leaf…..define first the nature of the leaf at this very moment…is it dried and yellow…or green and supple….the contrasts now are the opposing elements of the leaf the way it is…the oppositions of the leaf…everything opposite of what the leaf currently is….so maybe the contrast is within the element itself…just in a different state…

I’m not generally this philosophical…this early in the morning….but I awakened to the notion that I have opposites….contrasting people out there…that are the exact opposite of me….now…that got me curious as to what these people do….are they opposite phisically…emotionally….mentally…or is it just a portion of them that is so contrasting….that it makes it all look different….maybe a hard core right-wing republican and a left of left liberal…. are contrasting enough that everything else just doesn’t matter…really there is no point in pursuing a conversation…my guess is the rhetoric….is so deeply embedded in both to make….having your fingernails pulled out with rusty pliers a far more  pleasurable….experience…..

now how did we get there….what sharp blunt trauma to the head made us think the way we do….sure Nature -vs-Nurture …no doubt has a significant role….but what caused us to become individuals that get to think the way we want to think…I was raised in a very conservative family…and I am far from conservative…..yet I know people who were raised in conservative families that are very conservative….and I’d bet there are roughly equal numbers of conservatives to liberals out there…..almost seems like a plot or a conspiricy….that we’re part of….maybe some weird Vulcan mind control…..

all of this came about while at the Dia de los Muertos Parade….a couple were dressed up for the occassion…they had twin daughters….dressed up as well….and the daughters were…dressed as puppetts…that the parents controled their movements…through the use of sticks and strings attached to the children’s wrists….arms…legs…etc…the costumes were brilliant…I started thinking what great parents they were….to take the time to involve all of the family in the event…the girls were having a great time…the parents as well….I’m certain when they went to school on Monday they were asked what they did over the weekend…I can just hear their response….”Oh mom and dad dressed us up as skeleton puppetts….made us participate in a parade…and dance around at a really big party in the park”…..how about you….”oh…we sat at home…watched TV…ate some microwaved food…talked on the phone….same same”….this is the contrast…I speak of…

we should all strive for individuality….because somewhere out there is someone who is striving just like we are….to be the opposite of us…..maybe not conciously….but they are there…..and perhaps one day you will come face to face with them…..make sure and have a video camera….ok…I’d love to see the footage…..

Wednesday…November 4th…It’s the music….not how poorly….you dance….that counts….

“Music for the Dead” 2009

“It is not easy to find happiness in ourselves, and it is not possible to find it elsewhere.”  ~Agnes Repplier

he would awaken us at 5am….singing a stupid train conductor song….that ended with “El Reno”…. he wouldn’t give up……until we were all up….sitting at the round wooden table in the dining romm…the room with the 2 tiered crystal chadalier….with the small lights that were so incredibly bright…a stare into them surely would blind you for a day….he’d try and be funny….but really he’d just piss me off….I’d cry instead of get angry…..because getting angry meant the long drive would be a series of punishments…..rather than a ridicule about crying….I had cowlicks then….and wore striped shirts with collars…jeans that had an elastic waistband….shoes that looked like cartoon characters….and was pigeon toed….I loved a girl named Katy…..even though I wasn’t sure what that meant….believed in Santa Clause…the Easter Bunney….the tooth fairy…and thought people were filled with peanut butter…..overall…life was not a huge mystery…..I knew nothing of a future…..had very little past….and the present was something I never thought about….it was always one foot in front of the other….and direction….I didn’t care….it wasn’t my job to know direction….just which foot went next…

the music in my life was early…I remember my mother played George Gershwin’s…..”Summertime”….it did something to me….struck me really deep….I listened to the song over and over again for days…it would end…I’d replay it….I sat be the record player….sometimes all day…just listening….and feeling the music….there was something that came out of that song that matched my fingerprint….beat when my heart beat…told some story I already knew about….years later…a muscian friend of mine told me…..”Robert T….you had the blues”…

perhaps I did…

I think now of the music that is me…what I listen to that defines me….makes me step lightly….comforts me when I am down…emulates my highs….and primarily the music I live too….that starts when my feet hit the floor….ends my day…with cymbals….and a giant DUNT…DUH…that says…time to rest….

I’ll hopefully put this song in your head for the rest of the day….I hear a few times a week…whistle it a few more times a week….hum it a couple of times a day…dissect the lyrics at least once a week….cry inside most every time I hear it…….here are my two favorite versions….

Tuesday…November 3rd….

“Dead Couple #1″ 2009

“If someone in your life talked to you the way you talk to yourself, you would have left them long ago.”

Carla Gordon

strive to be who you want…today…set everything else aside and do just exactly what you want to do today…if you choose to procrastinate…do it well…if it is working in the garden…get very dirty….and if it has to do with love….passion….make it last….if you want to sit alone and read a book…be the story….

today I awakened tired…I have no energy for the normalized day….I’d rather curl up in bed….pull my cats close…and sleep the day away…..maybe fly kites in my dreams….or just forget about the beaches I miss….the walks along the coast where my clothes smelled like mist…and days when fog…would keep me home….writing stories to throw in the water…

I’ve always liked Tuesday…not really  its position in the week…but more how it rolls off the tongue….sounds like there is going to be a great deal following the word……

Monday…November 2nd…The Dead….truly can dance…..oh yes they can!!!!

“An Ending and Beginning” 2009

El Dia De Los Muertos Parade and party in the South Valley…a spectacular event….I have lived here for decades…and this was the first visit….certainly not the last…

started me thinking about our view of death…death of anything….seems death is the end….the end with a negative twist to it…where as life is the celebration of things to come….a road ahead…this applies to situations as well…things end in our lives…things begin in our lives…every aspect of what happens to us…about us…around us…inside of us….is refllected…in the world we live in…..

people die each day…people are born each day…we view each as a very different event when in reality they are similar….and are each necessary for the other to exist…birth says “There lies ahead me”…death…”It is all behind me”….yet each event celebrates “The Life” exclusively…..may be one yet lived….or one lived to the end …but life….

I ended up at a party celebrating this day….there was an altar in honor of the host and hostess’  lost friends….a tribute to each of them….a special place in honor of who they were to them….it was very nice….sort of revealing….and made me want to ask questions….but I’m new to this so I thought them instead…there was mole with pork and chicken…tamales with mushrooms….olives…chicken and green chile….red enchiladas…flan…and a chocolate pecan pie….I would certainly die for….

when it was all over and I was home….I reflected on the whole afternoon of events….thought of those who are no longer in my life…whether they have literally died or they are alive yet no longer in my life……and realized they are part of me now and will be a part of me forever….and in that there is something very gratifying…knowing…maybe I can’t reach out and touch them any longer….yet I do have a small piece of them…that I will treasure and cherish….

then it came to me…how can someone who was in my life no longer be in my life….they will always be in my life…..maybe not close enough to hit with a spit wad….or be able to pull their hair….but….hey……

viva el dia de los muertos……….

Novemeber 1st…I get my October Merit badge….and the 10 Reasons WHY!!!!!!!

“Begins quiet” 2009

October was an interesting month…for as tumultuous as most of the month was….there was a calm that made all of the clatter well worth it….something about being ok with the decisions…not dwelling on what works or doesn’t work…but realizing there are going to be times when things appear as an endless box of failure…while other times will  seem  full of successes…most of the time will be a tug of war…between equalling out the failures and successes in my life….living with it all and making sure the intention has the real flavor…..

I did my end of the month celebration…last night…a tomato beer…some jerked chicken…friends and 5 bags of candy…I carved a pumpkin….handed out candy to the neighborhood kids…watched a scary movie…and realized…the scary movies I thought scary when I was a kid…were not scary at all…they were suspensful…and designed to keep us on the edge of the seat by anticipation….not instilling fear….but nevertheless…I had a great time…awakened this morning to a new time on my clock….and the reality that winter is but a few steps away….

What I discovered during the month of October

1. Things can always get better…and they can always get worse

2. My gut instinct is worth listening to more often than I do

3. Love is by far the best thing I have in my life….

4. I probably am not going to stop making mistakes….

5. Don’t shake a salad dressing bottle with the top just partially on…..

6. Because some people have money doesn’t mean they are smart, successful, are a good businessman, better than anyone else, or destined for great things…

7. I want to be happy…..not right…..

8. Jeans from Wal-Mart may appear to be a good buy…..

9. The more I do something I love…the better I get at it….

10. No matter what…some things are not supposed to work out…

again…October was a very rewarding month….a very devastating month……a very enlightening month…..a very provoking month…a month like no other….October took all of my strength…yet filled me with power….October…was one great month……

see you in November……kicking dried yellow leaves down the street…..

Listen to the song….this 8 minutes 34 seconds could just be the most incredible 8:34 of your day…..