Thursday …November 19th….3:30AM….Here I am………..

Young Bobby “Ray”

“All of us have moments in our lives that test our courage. Taking children into a house with a white carpet is one of them.”- Erma Bombeck

I debated about writing this…until I awakened at 3:30 this morning….the exact same time I was born 53 years ago….today….I share this day with my brother…who too was born today yet is 7 years older than I…happy birthday Kenneth….

the very first thing I remember in my life was a visit to the hospitol…my brother had scarlet fever….I sat in the waiting room on an overstuffed brown couch…with chrome handles….my feet just reached the end of the seat…..that day I learned…I liked the smell of exhaust fumes….my head was out the bus window….on the way home….we sat in the back….where all of the gear noise was….

it really all began a few decades later….it was that left in front of right way of…living….knowing that without that there was really nothing other than the same…which I knew so well…it was no longer easy….I’d outgrown the aquarium….needed a place to put the things that fit…but I didn’t have to wear everyday….so it happened…she waved the wand….the dust sprinkled into my hair….I said a few Hail Mary’s…..along with a prescription that slowly….worked….wrote a few pages each day….tried my best to think about how a vegetarian would look at this whole thing….consulted the Tao…a few hundred times…turned everything inside out….so many times that i wasn’t sure if inside out was outside in…or not….had those long discussions with the 3 of us….until one of us left from  frustration and habit…and the other….I conquered playing the home version of…. “Jeopardy”…best 2 out of 3….so there I was…where I was….new…exciting…a bit fearful…but clearly…ready to ride each of the carnival rides…not because I had to but because….I could…I had the “Endless Day Pass” ….there in my hand for the very first time in my life…..and do you have any idea what that means to a kid…..of 53…..

I am at the very best place I have ever been in my life…this second of my life….what a gift……

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4 thoughts on “Thursday …November 19th….3:30AM….Here I am………..

  1. The very best birthday present I have ever received occurred when I was seven and Robert was born. I like to think that I am his present also. Good times and fine lines have occurred ever since. The magic of the universe is best experienced and shared with one you love, especially when that person is a good brother.

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  2. What a great post! I’m glad you cut it loose here. Hau’oli La Hanau, Happy Birthday, Beautiful Soul!! I love the expression on the little boy’s face. I smell betrayal somewhere. But even better is the “Endless Day Pass”. Yes, O yes! I totally have an idea of what it must be like to be a 53 years old kid. I’m on your heels. I’m there. With my own Endless Day Pass. Hm. Let’s take them fishing 🙂 Bless you and your wonderful light!

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