Saturday…December 5th…Bad echoes….questionable tattoo….and a little blood down the drain….and all of this to The Kenny Barron Trio…..That’s what Saturdays are for…..

“Black Betty” 2009

“Id rather have a moment of wonderful than a lifetime of nothing special” – Unknown

test patterns or underwires…I could never see the similarities…even though my older brother….said there was more to it  than met the eye…I wasn’t sure what that meant either…but certainly life would dictate…some semblence of understanding to these myseteries….or at least some glimpse into something that I could get my hands on for a few seconds…not like melted butter over popcorn….or grasping at my breath on a below zero day…she said she wasn’t certain how to tattoo her hand…so she used the letter “H” for “L”….and somehow…her explanation was perfect….she was destined to pin her tail on the donkey I rode to and from work…so life was going in that different sort of direction…kind of an erector set type of momvement…and girders…with wing nuts was going to be okay for a few months…even if they said we had to use our fingers to tighten them……”No tools just fingers”…was what the black and white sign read….I liked….”No fools just tingers”….better…but I was not the sign maker…and I was so enthralled about the idea of “Tingers”….that I didn’t know exactly what to do….but what did it matter…..other than a few things caused plates tectonics to slow by about 20% for the weekend…other than that…is was blue birds singing on one of those cartoon branches in…my mind….

I yelled “Marcus” while the echo returned “Ruby”…maybe they were yelling “Ruby and I was yelling “Marcus” at the right time so it wasn’t really an echo problem…maybe more of a syncronicity issue…and we’d never really know about it until we confronted one another…if we ever did…I was hoping for a bar fight…what they were hoping for was unknown…and how would we know eachother…sort of a Match.com type of introduction…”Ruby?”….”Marcus?”….that would be wierd…or I could presume everyone I didn’t know was named “Ruby”…then I realized there is more than one Ruby on the planet…she said we had so much in common…I’d never met her until that phone call…at 2;12am….where she introduced herself as a friend… of a friend…that somehow knew a few friends of a cousin of mine that I’d not seen in 22 years who was really adopted so was no blood relation to me at all….and that’s where the “So much in common” nail penetrated my cranium …all because of an echo…what a nightmare…I thought as I rowed out a little further out…anchor around my left ankle…flirting with disastor….those white deck shoes…just begging for a jump over the edge….but it wasn’t going to happen…at least not today…I was planning bigger plans…biting off more than I could chew….letting my mouth overload my ass…and a few more cliches….that had that sort of holiday ring to them…..but life was turning into a snow globe alright….we just needed a sack lunch…someone to watch the cats and a few breaths of clean mountain air…..I screamed “Ruby” one more time before closing the hatch door….it smelled like moth balls…..”he asked how’d you do it”….”do what”…”did you pull their little moth legs apart to smell their balls?”…..I asked the stewardess for another seat…closer to the window…I had to promise…I wouldn’t jump…….or hold my breath……

she made hot cereal…put the fruit in the boiling water first…”Softens them right up”…she said in the perfect New York accent….not that she was from New York…but she was….I opted for cookies….straight out of the bag…a few could mean the difference between life and death…at least this morning….I thought about….this girl I knew when I was 13…she was 13 too…carved our names in the tree in the corner…the last time I looked…the names looked like open mouths…couldn’t read a thing….she taught me how to change diapers…on her brother…”baby eddie”…what a name to go through life with….”Baby Eddie”…you  know when he got to prison they still called him that… I’d like my prison name to be “T-Bone”…maybe better as a blues piano player name…that’s better than a prison name…and I could date….and drive a car if I wanted to….

we watched the glass blowers from behind the thick window…I could feel the heat from the ovens so it must have been really hot inside…sort of like being in hell…but alive…and having to blow glass….all day…they must have really messed up on earth….I told the waitress….I was a taco in my best Spanish…she laughed…”stupid fucking kid”…it was a day of glass and paper flowers…I loved her more than life itself…there was something about a relationship at 12…that was destined to fail…goodbye Marcia…goodbye….my love…..were the words that floated in the black dots in my eyes….it was close to Christmas…she wore a wreath on her head…with 4 burning candles….some strange Scandinavian ritual….made us eat herring….he commented on my boy tits….through the yellow “Wolf” cub scout t-shirt…I was wearing….I cried all the way down the stairs….she chased me but her candles went out…my mouth was full of pickled herring…eyes with tears….man was it difficult being me that day…it rained early today…I smelled that summer day…if I closed my eyes tight enough…..it was like an okay…car accident…..

they hung in the basement….three dead deer….cold enough to be a refrigerator….I saw the small pool of transparent blood on the floor….their big black eyes…staring nowhere as they turned circles from the rafters…..anchored with ropes by their antlers….the concrete steps were cold…I couldn’t take my eyes from their bodies…not long enough to feel sorry for them…wonder what they’d be doing today if they weren’t dead….one minute later…one minute earlier…may have changed it all…but nothing was ever going to change now…..the last of the day was come through the small basement window….the fogged glass….just shined….a yellow sort of color….I tried asking them some question….but the silence was a mild hum….no answers….just those blank black stares…..and a cotton filled noise somewhere outside….I could hear each drop fall into the pool….a thin river fed into the drain…..and all of that life…was slowly going away….what was left was less than….what was gone…..I heard her say…”Dinner’s ready”…..I walked up the wooden steps towards the light…..and they whispered…..don’t go…….

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One thought on “Saturday…December 5th…Bad echoes….questionable tattoo….and a little blood down the drain….and all of this to The Kenny Barron Trio…..That’s what Saturdays are for…..

  1. I love this photo. Truly.

    and this…. “”….it smelled like moth balls…..”he asked how’d you do it”….”do what”…”did you pull their little moth legs apart to smell their balls?”…..””

    fab

    Like

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