Friday….December 18th….if only a few things had been different…..I could have married Dale Evans….or been a Rock legend…

” Entry” 2009

“Faith means living with uncertainty – feeling your way through life, letting your heart guide you like a lantern in the dark” – Dan Millman

from where they stood….we looked smaller…and I guess we could say the same…but it seemed etiquette was an important issue among us…..and rather than capitalize on their misgivings…we chose to find something that accentuated their being….right here on the planet for the time they were…here….not that we liked them any better because they were…worldly…or possessed some magical powers we didn’t quite understand…or that one of them was holding the First Place ribbon for dog sledding across that big state up north….those were the things we decided were unimportant….the things that seemed so pretentious and out of bounds…I mean so what if they carried only Gucci man bags…and had their nails manicured…a few times a month….I mean some of them could only drink bottled water from Europe because of “Doctors orders”…and health was a big issue…at least it appeared that way…from the big sign they carried…that read…”Health is a big issue”…in capital letters….we sort of slumped…decided the “little Debbie Snack Cakes”…were just fine…and were not any threat to our over all well being….rather…we opted for making a large sort of religious ark…maybe to fool those around us…or maybe because she had a premonition….and the last time we didn’t listen….swarms of locust descended upon our van…while driving across Kansas….so we nailed the nails…tightened the bolts…called up to whatever we each called him…said a few prayers….calculated costs vs return….and found we…were in the wrong business….so now the sights were a little different…open a Pakistani restaurant…maybe a doilie manufacturing plant on the edge of town…or just plain give up….cast the bones form the oracle’s jar…and do what was said…I opted for a kite flying…training school….a rather important business…here in the Southwest…where statitically 93.74% of the population either owns or has access to kites…..(as I nodded my head with a slight…grin but not revealing my  true felt enthusiasm)…she on the other…asked me for a divorce…I searched all over town for one…you know…to know avail…”Can you give me an idea of what one kind of looks like”…she gave me the finger…as she drove off with the guy from he parking lot carnival there in the auto parts store parking lot…. he was either a dwarf…or a midget….but prefered to be called Lester…so Lester…and she…drove off…headed west….smoking Kools and drinking those cheap sodas from the Buy Right grocery….if you can believe it  they were drinking  hot sodas…not even warm……ones…..

I guess everything was lined up right…I’d spent the whole day taking everything out of the drawers…..and putting it end to end up and down the hallway…seemed silly for a few minutes of fame…but I was striving for fame at all cost…well….depending on the cost would determine how famous I would be….I’d stitched all of my fingers together…so mittens were more comfortable….and I could swim better than ever….had to use cups though to drink….now that was where things became interesting….in and around the ranch in those days….I always liked that saying …..”Those days”…sort of implies…if you weren’t there…you missed everything…and if you missed everything what good was it….you had nothing to say other than few grunting noises while you shook your head “No”…implying you were not there in those days…when the girl who looked a little like Dale Evans asked you about…”Those days”….it was a very vicious circle…that lawn mower blade sort of circle…that if you had really small and I mean tiny little feet you could hurt yourself…mowing a lawn….Dale Evans or not…..as a young boy…I loved Dale Evans….I’d have never said a thing though…she was Roy’s girl…and I was 5…6…7…there automatically was a level of difficulty that seemed to much to get around so instead…I extended my feelings to a girl named Katy….she was 6….missing both of her front teeth….and was in the same carpool as I…life was great….I was eating refrigerator magnets that resembled fruit….Katy and I were getting married in a couple of years….I even wrote Dale Evans a letter…..a sort of “goodbye…adios…hasta la vista”letter…and somehow…I knew she’d understand……she never wrote me back……..

it might have been winter….I don’t recall but we were wearing warm clothes….and it was either winter…..or I was in a play about winter….either way…things were becoming abnormal….and the rubber boots with the impossible snaps had….fianlly become possible…those days though I was growing far to quickly…might have been the 4 gallons of hormone laced milk I drank every 3 days….but somehow…things would only fit…for a day….or two….and we shopped at the military base exchange…for all of the groovy clothes the military guys wore….in and around the mid 1960’s….man was I lucky…striped shirt…with checkered pants…”That’s what all of the fellas are wearing”…..my mother would say…I was a kid…didn’t wear “Trousers”….and “Fellas”….made me think of old guys with their pants pulled up past their belly buttons….with ear hair……their napkins tucked into their shirts…..food always on the corner of their mouths and they….called me…”Boy” or “Son”…..but nevertheless…I got purple pirate shirts….and striped pants…that looked like my grandmother’s bed sheets…..plastic boots with that “Authentic” leather….look….and I wore “dickies”….maroon suede dickies…..that looked like cool turtle necks….and I wanted hair…..just like the lead singer in the band The Spiral Staircase……and have the moves of the guy in the background with the moustache….who I think became one of the Village People…..

and I wanted to fall in love with a girl…..and our love sounded like……… “Lightening striking”

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3 thoughts on “Friday….December 18th….if only a few things had been different…..I could have married Dale Evans….or been a Rock legend…

  1. Excellent quote by Dan Millman! Robert, have you ever considered writing a book of short stories? I admire your ability to let all of this material pour forth. It’s quite amazing. I love reading your posts. This place here is a special retreat from the world at large 🙂

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