Friday…December 32nd…2009….did you say..”Hey wait a second there is no 32nd day in December…”He must mean…Friday…January 1st….let’s start all over……

“New Year…Old Potatos”  2009

“When choosing between two evils, I always try the one I’ve never tried before” – Mae West

nothing really has changed…except…the string of paper clips is a few feet longer…I’ve grown more accustom to the duct tape clothing and eating live goldfish each morning was starting to show its health benefits quicker than I had anticipated…..sure…I had to quit the job at the plant…putting cereal into boxes…but hey…I was much better than that…I knew more about potato chips and the history of “Little Debbie” snack cakes….and decided that portable clamp lights around the house gave it an ambiance of an art gallery…rather than a dingy basement apartment…even though it was a dingy basement apartment…and I had no art….with the exception of Simon and Garfunkel’s “Bridge over Troubled Water”…..and that was the closest I was going to get….she called me a “Ham”….a “Thrill seeker”…closed her eyes when I walked on the roof….gaged when I swallowed all of the kitchen utensils….but cooed when I’d wear the Elvis costume…sing “Love me tender”…in that Johnny Cash voice…I had her wrapped around my little finger….right where it felt best…there in the high deserts….by that historic atomic blast…I recall the itch a few days later….but wrote it off to some normal skin disease…sort of like an automobile maintenance record…expect certain things to go wrong….at certain ages…always get the colorectal screening at 50…not 49…not 51….a colon is nothing to laugh about unless it’s your name….or sounds like your name….but then people change the proionunciation….to Kaalin…like that’s really going to make a difference….I knew a guy whose last name was “Weiner”…yet he insisted it was pronounced Whiner….right…just think if his first name had been Colon..what a name…Colon Weiner….

so it started today…not the therapy or the drug usage…”it”….it started…I like the nebulous nature of it…sounds llike authority with some secretive twist to it….sort of like not believing “it” could land you in a world of shit…you know those weird coinidences…where the same people who are following you in the city you live in…are there in the same city when you go on vacation…a few thousand miles away….or it looks like they are taking pictures of you….all of the time…when you know it’s just something right next to you…or behind you….that’s what I mean….I mean how weird is it to pick up the phone and hear…”Ok he’s on”….just when you answer the phone….so “it ” was beginning to work…in slow motion but nevertheless…working kind of like an old motor that starts out slow…but in a few seconds is spinning unpredictably out of control in a really small area in the garage….with a bunch of sparks flying everywhere…and there is a few gallons of highly flammable carcinogenic jet fuel in open margarine containers……nothing to worry about….though….

I used to like to argue alot…over stupid things…you know….like arguing with the landlord about paying the rent in cash….when he insisted on checks or money orders…I always pointed out the “This is legal tender for all debts private and public” notice on the bills…. or if I ever had to go to court…I’d never swear on the bible…….because some days I profess atheism…..while other days I claim I’m agnostic…so swearing on the bible would be like swearing on the JC Penny’s catalog….it took me a few decades to realize that the arguments were worth nothing….I could get nothing from them…other than some weird Ripley’s Believe it or Not satisfaction….you know who really cares about a house built entirely out of gum…or Mexican Pesos…..the part that was making sense…was the part that was making sense…that seemed so logical I need not question it…it was the mysteries that remained mysteries…that’s where…I long to be…right in the middle of the unknown….as long as I knew just a few feet away…was the red lined safety zone…the one where they hug you like you just survived a plane crash in the Andes….for a few months….and you’ve grown a beard…..

today was the new year…I never really understood that…”today was somehow a year”…yet I’m certain in some scientific circles…that was so common place…it was like the nose on a face….it’s the obvious that makes the choices more difficult….more elusive….just think if you had two choices…black or white ….blond or brunette…briefs or boxers…..high or low….loud or soft…..see look how simple the place becomes…I’ll have the High Loud Black Blonde…with the Boxers……can I have that to go????

My thoughts for this New Years Day 2010…..

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2 thoughts on “Friday…December 32nd…2009….did you say..”Hey wait a second there is no 32nd day in December…”He must mean…Friday…January 1st….let’s start all over……

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