Tuesday….January 12th…If I only had a ________________________

“Thirty Years” 2010

“The distinction between the past, present, and future is only a stubbornly persistent illusion” – Albert Einstein

changes are really good for people…all the way around…often we find we are so deep in the rut that the notion of change is like pulling fingernails out with rusty pliers….any change that happens in our lives is quickly remedied….if it is an uncomfortable change we simply return to the rut we were walking in…if it a change that offers something worth exploring…then the path becomes somewhat unknown…..but certainly not the end of anything…a ceasing of something for a beginning of something else….and because we choose a different path for a while does not mean we will never revisit the original path we merged from….I think it is easy to stay and as easy to go….of course there are limits to each….and plans and calculations that are needed if one stays in place or if they choose a new adventure for their life….

I am facing more each day the element of time…not that I dwell on it…but I know very much it is there…and some days that concerns me…while other days I am oblivious to it….and it is not a lacking for or a wanting of….it is more a sense of completness….oneness with myself…that I crave….and there are days…I feel I am very close to that stillness of the pond…while other days…I am far away…..

it could have been spring or maybe it was fall…the leaves had that way of saying nothing…but showing everything…sort of like a person in a fur coat….you knew it wasn’t them…but you looked anyway….just to see who’s underneath all of that….we talked of the days in the hills…the struggles of hauling water…and no electricity….she loved the mountains in summer…me….I’d chosen the rock hard living….right there at ground level…where…a drip is a flood….and a snow flake will freeze you solid….she had spots…places to sit in the sun…watch her kids play…read Kahil Gibran….and think of the places they’d go….it was all the same….but so entirely different…”You have to want to know”…was becoming the sentence of the week…the statement that held the power…and gave all the excuses to the guy with the empty plastic bag with the handles…. there on the corner…..he was lost too…just in a different time….wondering where his had all gone…you could see it in his face….sort of slumped like those nights you fell asleep in the car…because you were to drunk to drive…..that look…that feeling…that way of doing things…could never make it to the table anymore….she left him…he left her…and now her smile’s so much brighter…..he’s a little older…but feels things better….doesn’t wear the gloves anymore….it just was…they had to have each other….to get here…right now……..

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s