205. January 19th….Today is… “National Popcorn Day”….and I’m just quivering with anticipation….

“Flyers” 2010

“Don’t ask what the world needs. Ask what makes you come alive, and go do it. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive”  Howard Thurman

every piece was perfect….every piece was exactly what it was meant to be….there is something about that level of perfecting the craft that it can be done with the eyes permanently sealed shut…”look!!!!…another masterpiece…how in the world do I keep doing this…and in only a couple of hours….hmm” ….lovely…..”can I get you another slice of naivety pie”….. she asked…”lovely” she used to say…”lovely”…in perhaps the most affected accent known…I hoped she was at least able to see that the accent only fooled cab drivers…and those that were more impressed with the origin of her handbag….rather than the small idiocencrecies…that dictated her personality…I guess it was about the whole idea of “Arrival”…something about pulling up to the gate…at that age thinking “X” marks the spot for the lifetime…and being ok with perfecting things so quickly…so competantly…so talented…to accomplish these task in such short order….you should have received a medal or something…a big brass medal with words in Latin…”Ad Vitum Paramus”….and you could clench your hands together…with the victors garland….atop the shoulders of those peole…and yes….everything was…..perfect….exactly the way it was meant to be….and the sandcastle walls…could only hold out for just so long…and then that one day when she realized…that the mirage…..was always going to be blurry…never clear….”Lovely”…was the campaign slogan…veneers clenched tightly together….that prom queen wave from the top of the back seat of a 1972 convertable…and it just didn’t matter anymore…blurry  or crystal clear….truth…or a bag full of lies….she was wearing this one even if it had to be affixed with glue and screws….maybe a few staples….the parade route was short anyway…and she’d grown accustom to wearing highheels….a few sizes to small………..

who would ever know….I mean I was the only one right now at this moment…in this city…in this state…in this country….on this planet…in this universe….that knew….so I held the only knowledge…I could take it to my grave…or tell it to someone…..so maybe I’d feel better….or at least if they ever found out I knew…then somebody else would know…and if something were to ever happen to me…then that somebody could do what they needed to do…to make sure it was taken care of……just the confusion of knowing and what that all meant was almost more than I could handle…I thought of Bob Long…the kid down the street who pimped his sister out every summer to the older boys….he had made the garage into a small brothel…and was managing his sister like a pro…how did he sleep at night knowing….all of the stuff that went with it…they moved early in the fall of 1966….I guess dad got wind of the enterprising young Bob….and they moved to a farm in Pennsylvania….we’d stolen a few things…peeked into windows late in the night…. even wrecked a playhouse…..but overall we had….to much to lose to be too bad of seeds….”I have to tell you something”….I practiced this in the mirror a few hundred times….until I felt it could come out of my mouth like…”Hey….I found a quarter today”…….or “Whatcha doing?”….but with all of the practice…I vowed a different promise….I’d take to my grave…..that way it was always going to be safe….it was Saturday….exactly 1:07 in the afternoon….it was July…and it was hot…..I was ready…and I had promised I wasn’t going to tell anybody anything…….remember….”nothing”…I said in a half whisper….I was sitting high in the tree house……looking through the hole in the floor…..nothing…..I could hear him coming up the steps…I was either lying or telling him the truth…but one was taking place….he asked me what I was doing….”Nothing…just sitting around”…..he asked me if I wanted to go out into the desert and play….”No…I’m just going to sit here for awhile”….he asked me why I was acting weird…”I’m not acting weird”…..he asked me what was going on….”Nothing is going on”…he asked me why I was lying to him…”I’m not lying to you”…..I kept glancing at the hole in the floor…he asked me what I was looking at…”I’m not looking at anything”….. he asked me why don’t I tell him…”Tell you what?”…..he started looking around  the tree house….there on the floor was the hole…..I’d drawn the hourglass shape of a woman’s body…. below the hole…and kind of implied the hole was her head…..I had drawn long hair around it……he asked what this was…”I was just drawing….why”…..he knelt down and looked through the hole…”Oh my god”….”oh my god” he kept saying…..”oh my god”…..my secret was out….Janet must be laying naked on the beach towel draped lounge chair in her back yard…my guess she was either putting baby oil all over her body or had just finished…….putting baby oil all over her body….in either case….I now had to share the secret……that summer ended….my brother graduated from high school that next May….we were worried he was going to Vietnam…..Janet sunbathed for the next 3 summers……..

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2 thoughts on “205. January 19th….Today is… “National Popcorn Day”….and I’m just quivering with anticipation….

  1. WOW what a post. I feel like I’ve just put on vintage clothing and am sitting on that screened-in porch of the rickety shack up in Whiskeytown, sipping iced tea, knitting another haltertop 😉 COOL.

    Like

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