290. April 21st…Sleeping is much harder than you may think….

“Sway” 2009

“There is no hope for a civilization which starts each day to the sound of an alarm clock.”  ~Author Unknown

well last night….marks an historic event in my life….Mr. Anxiety decided a sleep study was in order….to find why my nightly drift to Neverland seems so…disrupted…often detoured….after a few hours in my room…which I know I’ve seen a few porn movies filmed in a room just like that one….yet there was no cheap sounding carnival jazz…music…I was escorted to a large chair….where the “wiring “process began…a few hundred wires later…small little nibs inserted into my nostrils…two very tight belts around my chest and abdomen…leads to my legs…eyes…brain….and a taped index finger with Rudolph the Red Nose Reindeer’s Nose on it…..and the Six Million Dollar man was ready for bed….having difficulty sleeping is of course not enough…so by adding all of these “Extras”…needless to say sleeping becomes like wearing a jacket made from barbed wire…..I sllept…(and I say that loosely) for close to 2 hours before the wires became like a creature from the darkest part of the ocean and began strangling me….there is a defined protocol  for turning….one that was so far removed from my lead attached brain I couldn’t get it…..so I raised my finger…the one with Rudolph’s nose…the only beacon of safety…and spoke outloud….”Jerry..(a wonderful man who is one of the Techs there)…I just don’t think I can do this…I am very anxious”…when in realty I felt like Ashley Judd locked in the coffin in the New Orleans graveyard from the movie “Double Jeopardy”….a few tugs on wires…a couple of snaps and I am a free man…gasping for breath…and eager for the midnight air……..

I breathed in the night air…last night like I never have before…and again another small thing was presented to me…one I’d rather not share…but small enough yet significant enough to make me realize everything is and will be just fine….I laughed this morning at how different my bed is…how the room I sleep in is just perfect…and exactly how I like it….how when I wake up early…the shadows know me and I know them…and how my sheets feel on my skin…those are really small things…yet they are enormous…at the same time….I wouldn’t change them for anything….

life presents itself in an odd way…and I guess it’s better to know that…than not….sleep well….and know that your bed…your space is a wonderful place to rest and let most of the worry of the day… leave you on the breeze….

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