308. May 12th…Be There….or Be Square……..

“First Thought of the Day” 2010

“Desperation is the raw material of drastic change. Only those who can leave behind everything they have ever believed in can hope to escape.” – William S. Burroughs

I’ve come to the conclusion…that belonging…no matter what….is alright…not belonging because we have too…or want too….but belonging because we fit and can’t change that fit….it is just who we are…and no alteration will ever be enough to make us different…..that I like…because it sort of defines us in a way….and maybe places us….where we should be rather than where we think we ought to be….

we kind of float around most of our lives….looking for the “Most right” thing to align with…the thing or things that will make our lives comfortable and face us in a direction that seems to be pointing towards the emerald city…path pretty much lined out in yellow….and the obligatory obstacles will appear when the right switch is flipped….we deal with life much like a road trip  to Oklahoma City from Denver…..stop here to pee….love the burgers there…buy a souvenir for Aunt Clementine there…all pretty much mapped out after a few tries…..and we use that same map to embark on other journeys and go to other destinations……even though it is completely different…..but we already put the scenery on the inside of the car windows so it pretty much looks identical….all of the time….and rarely expect different…..

my grandfather told me as a young child…”Life is an adventure“…that really stuck in my head…..maybe to the degree of dangerous…I don’t know….but add that to an already adventurous spirit….and adventure became the prominent word….the dominant voice and the most likely possibility…..A writer friend of mine told me most writers have a rich personal life to write from…..thus their writings hold the readers interest…and often are what people want to do yet have chosen to watch instead…..there is nothing wrong with watching as opposed to doing….they both have life expectancies….  they both offer a place to perch that is either under the umbrella or away from it…..and perch is the key word…..I love boxing…but I’m not going to do it……

so everybody somehow drifts around….until they find their island…inhabited by those similar to them….people that think the same act the same…do much of the same things…yet are different enough to have a good argument…or disagreement….but share enough to make the bond worthwhile for as long as worthwhile….matters….it’s a club and we were only given 2 choices….the other choice was so unlike us that taking it would be a trip to hell for a few months…..and we knew it….

we gradually put layers over these relationships….make them work as much as we want them to work just as our counterparts do…arrive at a place that is optimal….and the truth then begins to be the important issue….all of the trivialities are for the other option…the one we didn’t choose….that’s when we know…and we float a bit less….far….we know what belonging feels like…..we migrate to the familiar…and realize we are here…for as long as we are …..

because we fit….

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