310. May 14th…It’s Friday what better motivation can there be……..

“Sinks” 2009

“It’s all right letting yourself go, as long as you can get yourself back.” – Mick Jagger

what makes us capable…powerful to accomplish things we may spend a lifetime pursuing….and what if you knew the answers right now….for all of it…for the next 20 years…30 years..would you still pursue…what you do….so I guess the true question then is…”What is the motivation“….

I’ve been digging…looking for the little syrup covered glob of motivation….the small little cell of energy that propels me forward into the things I choose to do…what is it that keeps me going on that same path…doing the same thing each day…yet each day finding something new in the process I’ve repeated a few thousand times…something new enough that seems like the very first time I’ve ever embarked on this sort of adventure….perhaps a level of dementia…is necessary to continue…and I’m just not aware of the same repetition….I call it blue one day…and the next….I’ve never seen it before…and within that innocent bliss…my motivation is nothing more than a little brain chemistry malfunction….and there….a clean clear blackboard with absolutely nothing on it…..while yesterday…it was filled with writing….legible….readable….coherent….and gone…..maybe it is something as simple as that…..and whether I name the dog….”Freckles” today….and…..”Killer”…tomorrow…what then does it matter……as yesterday will be something so vague and unclear it won’t have any impact……well I feel pretty confident that is not what is happening…..

motivation comes from a place….that doesn’t really seem to have an opinion…especially if it’s internal motivation….it might simply be…”I just do because I just do“…and to find much more further below that statement might not be possible….as it might not be there….I ask myself…why I like certain things….what is it about those things that draws me towards them….and… “they just do“…so I guess what I’m saying is what drives me…motivates me is something that the more I look for it the less I see it….the less I see it the more I pursue it….without minimal thought….until finally there is not thought in the process….again….”Just do

I talked with one of the painters last night at an opening….he  said he really doesn’t like to talk about his work….but he can…he “Just hopes people gets it on their own“…I migrate to that mentality and ideology….makes me feel like there is a level of responsibility taken directly from the painter and literally handed to the viewer….motivating the painter to do his job which is paint…..exclusively…while the viewer is motivated to….view…..

I can’t say I know what motivates me to do what I do…I have a pretty good idea…though…..and that like many good things…is probably best kept close…..our personal motivations are like the sparklers on 4th of July…..I know I can never get enough of them…and would like to take a few minutes a day to just light a few sparklers…watch them burn down to a crinkled gray wire….smell that smell….see the smoke…and go right back to what I was doing……

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