313. May 18th….Trying to get it right…sure beats never trying to get it at all…..

“Practice Makes Perfect” 2010

I am what is mine. Personality is the original personal property.- Norman O. Brown

amazing how a few well placed hours can alter a landscape of a life….if not truly rearrange it….give it the impression of an alteration….there is never a time in anyone of our lives that devotion to self is not necessary…not an integral facet of maintaining our own lives….so those lives become smooth and are able to mingle with those we choose to share life with…sometimes a myriad of things needs to take place before the experience forces us to stop….sew in a new pocket…or stitch up the thread bare aspects of our world…make them ready again….usable and functional….in the way function works for us…

milestones in life are often the source for alteration….the ….”Seeing the light”….sometimes takes being blinded by the same light to understand there is more there than is often revealed…it’s the surface stuff that really has no bearing on anything….sort of the candy coating….these milestones are so unexpected…covered with great deals of denial…..just with sprinkles and chocolate shavings….to disguise them….still we maintain that immortality of youth yet…are afraid there will be a surprise lurking in the shadows….it shouldn’t be a surprise at all….we all know where we are headed…. eventually ….and if it takes seeing the light at every turn…..have good sunglasses…..

what we want should happen now…..not require a flash of light…blunt force trauma to the head…..30 years and a watch….a really good heart attack….. a debilitating disease or a Martin Scorsese slow motion automobile accident…to turn up the heat….so we can get the message to begin to work the work…to start the process of pushing the button that lights the light that says…..”This is My Life…and I’m Going to Live it the Way I want to Live it…Even if it Doesn’t Work For Anybody Else”…

but to get to that place requires…..having the ultimate “Come to Jesus” meeting with self…..you know the one where you don’t lie anymore….twist things to make what you do justified…and “RIGHT”…..kind of put all of the cards out on the table….get what you get…give back what you give back….take what you take….be able to push away from the table knowing that it’s all the real way…the genuine way you want it right now…..and your vessel is empty…completely void of anything but space….clean clear through….so when that new stuff fills it…it’s exactly what you want it to be…..with no surprises…….

so…why doesn’t this happen at every juncture…what’s it we’re waiting for…..there is no answer to that..other than in you …and in me…maybe it takes a level of consciousness….that wants to change the color of things….in our worlds…or maybe some people see it….others don’t…..or perhaps the level of importance and priority dictates if it’s important it comes to the surface…if not they’ll never know about it….so it doesn’t matter…or just maybe the idea that our imprint…tells our story……in a way…..

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