321. May 26th…Non-Planning and the Art of Lily Pad Walking…..

“Staples” 2008

“I had nothing to offer anybody except my own confusion.” – Jack Kerouac

so after a day of furious running…stopping…discussing stuff….doing it  all over again a few times….. and of course spending an enlightening hour or so with the “Homeboys” at the UNM pharmacy…..I was finally able to sit and digest my day…..as it were…..contemplating all that sunk into each pore of my absorbent being…..gently extracting every bit of information from myself….making that metal to metal noise like in the movies as each lead slug hits the metal bullet holding pan…encased in a varnish coating with its own little story……

and for all that transpired yesterday…I am happy…alive…well….and headed in the overall right direction….and that is a wonderful thing to know….

I’ve been in planning limbo…for a few decades…you know….that place where if I direct all of the positive energy…say the right affirmations…chew my food more than I do….read the “Secret” until I can recite the significant passages….”Put it out there“…whatever… “it”… may be…think of all of the ways that paving the road to my desires can be accomplished so my desires become my realities….and no longer just the visions of a middle-aged man…coming to some realities…accepting some realities and creating some new realities are sort of the soup I’m cooking these days…and I guess I could continue planning and revamping…re-editing….reworking….remaking…and the action of the “RE”… syndrome will occupy just enough time to make the doing a little less of a priority…cause I’m making lists…slapping the back of my left hand…into my right…measuring spaces…..counting beans….deciding on tables or work surfaces….manganese or napthol..you know all of things necessary….to continue making an excursion to Walmart…more like a prison sentence rather than a trip for cat litter…and eye drops…. or in the words of one of the Homies at the pharmacy….. ” There’s some hot bitches over at the west side Wal-Mart” …and all of this time ….I’ve been thinking of …..economics…and life…..oblvious to the “Hot bitches“……roaming the isles of the Super store….what….pretell am I thinking………

so the conclusion that reached from the depths like some alien claw from a bad sci-fi film….was equally as unclear…as it has ever been… yet did shed some light on my current situation…(which really is a version of the old situation…..just a little dressed up)….what was concluded…was simple….devoting a great deal of time and effort into the obvious (Planning limbo) is not really a suitable place for my mind to continue roam….it’s like buttoning a shirt….you do it once….maybe twice and you’re an expert at it….and really there is little planning or strategy in the future when it comes to buttoning a shirt…or at least I hope there isn’t….I prefer the place that has….the lily pads on the pond….and my desire is the other side of the pond….via the lily pads….there is something about being unable to plan the assault on the delicate  pads with any great certainty…that reminds me of snatching the stone from the blind guys hand in Kung Fu….just seems so unpredictable and invigorating….yet challenging and a must do……the contemplative aspect of life that has a great deal of scalpel  precise…..planning with a single objective in mind….that once accomplished…..lilly pad walking becomes a thing of the past…a party conversation…..if you know what I mean….

I suppose there doesn’t have to always  be a really deep lesson in everything…and there may not be a conclusion that has any value….other than the objective for that moment…..and everything is indeed relative….and maybe on the other side of the pond…there is absolutely nothing…but the other side of the pond…..and the trek was about walking on lily pads….who knows….

but I do know the next time I go to Walmart…I’m keeping my eyes open……

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