390. August 21st…Silver’s the new Black…..60’s the new 40….now….Diminutive…just might be the new Enormous………

“Blue Eyed” 2010

“Of all things, good sense is the most fairly distributed: everyone thinks he is so well supplied with it that even those who are the hardest to satisfy in every other respect never desire more of it than they already have.”.- Rene Descartes

discovering what that ticking sound inside of me is…..has been a great pursuit…..might see it as a bomb….or just th gears moving around that makes the machinary work…I like to think of it as the gears…..and all of the well oiled parts that make me function even when I am upside down on a great carnival ride….not like certain pens..that just don’t write because of stuff like gravity…but work when things are right side up….

I’ve been paying a great deal of attention to the signs lately…and maybe they are just signs to me…..but none the less…they are appearing as signs…I’m not certain what they mean…and the more I know the less I really do…so often when the sign does appear…I have to take some time…to think about what it really means…rather than …thinking it might mean something immediate….there is nothing immediate in my life these days…other than health….and painting….. all of the rest has a place….to be…a place I can put it….to make decisions about and when they need to be made…..this is a first for me…..previously…most of my actions were based on the level of immediacy….which some how could often translate to an “Oh my God” situation….which in turn became a level of despiration….that amps up a few hundred decibels…..that eventually had me digging through the kitchen drawers looking for the stuff in the bright blue box….you know the stuff that eliminates the need for immediacy….and take it immediately……

The immediate issues in my life now…are much like a great fragrance…enticing…and desirable…..and more than anything it is a choice…..and deciding what goes on the forefront….rather than tying my shoes together…..for the sake of walking slower…..my paintings have changed because of it….my ideas about producing art are moving new directions…..and overall…the pace is finding a good fit with me…..a place that I feel terrific things and events will be born and emerge……

I decided the first of this year…to do everything in small pieces….much like a mosaic…..see how that would work…and I found….I can own the small pieces……then the small pieces that make things a little larger….then  the larger pieces that make things even larger….and eventually the really large pieces……..

“Freeing yourself was one thing; claiming ownership of that freed self was another.” – Toni Morrison

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