427. October 4th….. “Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh’s” ok…….with a parachute…..

“Black and Painted hands” 2010

“I used to go away for weeks in a state of confusion.” – Albert Einstein

there are those moments in my life…that are becoming more prevelant…they are the….”Ahhh moments”…not to be confused with the “Aha moments”…as the “Ahhh moments” follow the “Aha moments”…

an “Aha moment” is a moment of temporarily knowing something so clearly and precise that is defining….a moment when the world in which I live…tips on its axis and all is going to change in a big way …and I know I am ready for it….welcome it…dive into it like a pool filled with pudding and I have an enormous spoon in my left hand….an “Ahhh moment”……is that time shortly after the “Aha moment”…..has set it’s teeth into my neck like a vampire….with rubber teeth….one where I can sit in some relaxing postion…feet up…hands clasped behind my head……inhale deeply and “Ahhh” escapes on my exhale…somewhat of a sigh of relief moment….knowing the “Aha moment”…clearly made sense…the direction on the compass is accurate…..and even though I may not understand the everything about how I arrived at this place…..

I also don’t understand how electricity works…or how someone however many years ago decided…based on the smell…that cheese was edible……and I don’t understand….how….a dog became a dog…..or how someone gets cancer…..or why they’re called “Taco shells” and not “Taco holders”…..that kind of stuff….so at that juncture of  confusion  in my…”Ahhh” moments…the confusion becomes pretty benign…..while the ice-cold shower of awareness…..really says a lot more than cold water…..

I think “Ahhh” moments are the result of decisions…..rather than the result of ideas….when a decision has been made….all of the…secret handshakes…a few drops of blood and the signed deal with whatever spiritual entity the deal was made with…(if it was)….completed…..rather an idea is thinking about doing something…maybe like thinking about getting a “Box turtle” instead of being there at the pet store 15 minutes before the doors open on Monday morning with your list of box turtle supplies for Abner’s (Turtles name)……new home…..at your your house….

not all ideas and moments are necessarily …”Aha” ideas or moments…by attaching additional a’s to the end of “Aha”….the word becomes….”Ahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa”…. which is usually the sound seconds before someone is going over the cliff edge…..careening off of the road…..or applying hard pressure to a wound…..so I guess I’m saying….”Aha moments require a first few dates sort of mentality before installing them…..sort of like trying them on for a little while to see if they really fit or you just want them to fit…..no matter what…..

I am discovering….the effortless is usually what causes my…. “Ahhh moments”…. to surface….trying too hard or thinking too much about anything….I find I spend too much time counting toothpicks…..memorizing…..lyrics to songs I don’t care for…..trying on clothes I’m never going to where…or dreaming of careers….I don’t really want to pursue….

I’m calling it the “Easy stuff”…….that makes me say “Ahhh”……that stuff that falls into my hands………….like a foul ball into the left field……bleachers….seat #6…..row #6……..

“We can only be said to be alive in those moments when our hearts are conscious of our treasures.” – Thornton Wilder

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