441. November 21st…Half way there….more or less…

“Hands in” 2010

“A man’s work is nothing but this slow trek to rediscover, through the detours of art, those two or three great and simple images in whose presence his heart first opened.” – Albert Camus

when it all takes place….sort of a moment of waiting for it all to gel and make things a certainty…I must say…that was the myth…the place somehow being set there to wait…worked until it no longer did….maybe it was the independence of soul and spirit or perhaps it has been the ability to crawl from the circle drawn in the sand….I do not know….yet there is a time I do know…that a light brightens…sometimes even comes on….illuminates it all for seconds…days…weeks…maybe the rest of the life time….

I recently turned 54 years old…and decided I have come to the half way point of my life….half way to 108….now that sounds just fine….as another 54 years with what I know now might just be enough time to roll the ball perfectly…round…smooth all of the edges…to a soft fabric feel…not question anything as long as it is still part of everything I do….and if I am wrong….and there are not 54 years left in my life…I’ll still roll the ball round…smooth like a river rock…work for the soft edges…and then maybe the word…”Busy”…becomes me new mantra….

when I’ve thought of busy…I’ve always thought of frantic…too much to do…with not enough time to do it in…yet defined Busy means: “not at leisure; otherwise engaged” and, “Ornate, Disparate“….the word Disparate means: “Utterly different or distinct in kind“…

so I’d have to say….”Busy” is probably one of the perfect words for the rest of my life…

as now I feel most of the smoke has cleared…and what lies ahead…is really a series of putting it all where I want to put it…that being said…there comes an enormous responsibility with that…being….”otherwise engaged“…which also means….showing up….and within that showing up….the rules are simplistic…minimal and…very doable….no unnecessary Bullshit…and keep doing what feels good….pretty easy….right???…..

I believe in recipes….recipes are rules….made up or borrowed….that can be changed in any way that seems reasonable…or not…and I’ve found the better I know the recipe….the more likely any changes become more effective and real…I can always go back to the original or over the top with something new….yet either way there is something that is a poem of sorts I can say out loud…one I know well enough to recite by memory….one that will return me to a place I can stretch my arms out…full…something familiar….

“I try not to worry about things I can’t do anything about.” – Christopher Walken

 

 

 

2 Comments

  1. You know Ellen….I think it is easy…the problem has been me getting in my way…makes me wonder…thank you for your comment….the last half….it IS going to be terrific…One for my baby…one for the road…

    Robert

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