445. November 26th…Planning for the next big…Plan…

“Not Enough Hope This Week” 2010

“I don’t think about time. You’re here when you’re here. I think about today, staying in tune.” – John Lee Hooker

there is never a time that not being…beats being….even if licking the plate is the last thing before bed…it is maybe a cycle that develops…a way of doing the same thing the same way…sort of peeking out from under the sheets into the darkness hoping the boogeyman has left the room…he did or he didn’t….so on to plan “B”…

sometimes strength is not necessarily the best thing to aspire for…as with certain strengths comes…big footprints…giant marks and hard methods of changing…more brittle and less flexible….which one of the most stellar aspects of bamboo is the level of strength the plant has…yet an equal level of flexibility….and there really is something about that notion of bending with strength….

lately…I am finding…the plan…whatever it might be…has to have  a pretty clear pretty simple story that goes along with it…one that asks if I want the door to push inwards or pull outwards….olive colored walls or more light blue….almost to the point where the description has been predetermined….otherwise it’s like finding bacon bits in a box of cheerios…there may be some real connection….yet a few missing syllables makes the connection….out of bounds…hard to connect and it might be easier to just stand there…stare into the void….walking circles…repeating “Voort…Voort…Voort”…until the melt down calms itself…train back on tracks…direction re-assessed….push/pull begins all over…and I can find the page I was on….before the intervention began…

I’ve never been a planner…I’ve always loved the idea of being a planner….someone that has some part of it mapped out to a point that makes the next few steps…a walking on water experience…I know people who are good planners…in my experience…though…really good planners are not really very spontaneous people…goes against the grain…do you want chocolate or Bavarian cream….sometimes has more involved to it….than a mere finger-pointing and may contain lists…consultations…debates…maybe even spreadsheets….

for me the small elements really are the best method…even planning on a small-scale a bunch of times…just might work…you know like not getting out of bed until the first 3 steps of the plan have been developed and are concrete…at step 3….develop steps 4 through 10…at step 10…increase the step span by say 20 or thirty…so I’m not like Jack Nicholson in “One Flew over the Cuckoo’s Nest”…shortly after he had the lobotomy….

I’ve lately also been talking in “The scale of Zero to Ten”….measuring everything on this scale…a dining experience give it a 6…I slept well into the 8-9 range last night…those tacos are a solid 7…I can apply this to the personal aspects of my development…you know…if today I feel like a -9….I  have hope…as I know there is a +9 that exists…and as I told a friend of mine…”I just have to walk backwards to zero…and turn around….+9 should be there in front of me somewhere”….

so maybe all of this is some bizarre rough draft for… a television sitcom….or a new stab at something different…that I don’t know with certainty…I do know…it is working…for me…and sure there seems to be a great deal to remember…and it’s pretty easy to get the steps mixed up with the rating system….and that whole thing is like tying knots that work……

but after all I was an Eagle Scout…

“Everyone has a plan ’till they get punched in the mouth.”  Mike Tyson

 

 

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