454. December 11th…thinking of you today…Fast Eddie…and what you’re doing with yourself…these days…

“Doctor my Eyes” 2010

“With most people disbelief in a thing is founded on a blind belief in some other thing.” – Georg C. Lichtenberg

I’ve not watched or listened to the news in over 3 months…and for that loss if you will…I feel ok about it…I have sort of become my own news caster..something I’ve always wanted to be…right along with a Mexican radio disc jockey…a Television Evangalist….and a Lounge Singer in a really bad hotel bar…off of interstate 10…

lately I’ve been reading and saying everything aloud in a news casters voice….usually ending with…”Back to you Clarrisa”….I only do this in the privacy of my own home…for obvious fears and reasons…but there is something very powerful in holding a pretend microphone…staring into a fictitious camera…standing close to some non-disastor…while reporting that the bread has just exited the toaster…and will soon be a nutritious breakfast treat the whole family can enjoy…that’s correct…whole grain bread from Costco…delicious…nutricious…afforacble and something that should be a part of everyone’s breakfast table….so that’s led me to the idea of adding another possibility of professions if and when I return to the planet via reincarnation…I’d like to be a game show announcer….

I always loved watching game shows…especially when the contestant lost but won….they maybe didn’t win the convertable…or the trip to Maui…but they won a life times supply of either Rice-a-Roni…the San Francisco Treat…or Creamettes…or Turtle Wax…and I always wanted to marry one of the women who held their arm out pointing towards the drape with the plethora of possible prizes…I mean wouldn’t it be great at a party to introduce myself….”Hi I’m Robert…this is my wife Carol Marol”….she’d wave her hand…people would stop to look at her ability to point things out….they’d know right away who she was…sort of a celebrity without all of the secrecy…not to mention the benefit for me…she could point that game show way…when we were driving as to which direction to turn…where the mens room is..all of that it would be great…the nice thing too  about being a game show announcer…is I’d be sort of invisible…it’s just my voice they’d hear…and never see me…and if they did…I could be fat and wearing headphones…because it really wouldn’t matter what I looked like….and I could probably wear a jogging suit…too….

all of these profession by way of reincarnation are exciting…to say the least…there are such huge possibilities…I don’t care what the music is…nor do I care what I might be singing…or if anybody’s getting my message…I just want some healing going on…and the game show could be anything…as long as I get to say….”Heeerrrreee’s Bob”….and I don’t really even care what name it is…there is really something about the non-celebrity celebrity status…that intrigues me…it’s kind of that whole thing like…who is the other guy in “Wham”….I don’t care who he is…and that’s my point…being something…or somebody is what we are all of the time…most of us are just missing it…

so I can see myself…sitting at a piano in a smoky bar at the Holiday Inn in Midland Texas…cigarette burning in the ashtray on top of the rental piano….hair slicked backed…lips pursed…”hey it’s great to see you out tonight….remember to tip the waitriss…she’s working hard for youhere’s an oldy but a goody by Tony Orlando and Dawn“…..that’s right put your hand on the television set…reach deep into your pocket with your other hand…that jingle is the jingle of salvation…I’m here to tell you…that sound sounds like a serious change in things is coming at you…so send us your check for 99.99 and we’ll send you some toothpicks that have been hand dipped into the Nile River….the real Nile river….in Egypt… my assistant Carol Marol…points her lovely hand to the curtain to the left….and as it opens….” That’s right it’s a Baldwin Piano…made from handcrafted cherry wood from Iceland’s most talented craftsmen  …Ivory tone keys…imitation Ebony sharps and Flats…a cushioned bench seat for hours of comfort and enjoyment….retail 6 thousand 2 hundred sixty-one dollars and forty-one cents…the Baldwin Company where Music it’s our Business“…”Thank you Clarrissa…this is Bob Wonderman live from the metroplex…and have we got some news ahead for you…stay tuned…Jill has weather…and Tiny Tom’s always here with sports as it happens…see you back here at 10:30 on channel 66 KZAG…..here’s a word from our sponsor…. “Radiorama Discotecha…equis ere oh ka X Rock 80…Escuchame…Juarez Mejico“….

these would most likely be impossible days…I mean keeping up the pace and all…maybe I’ll be reincarnated as a dog walker instead…who only works a couple of hours a day….or a window cleaner at ground level…few windows a day…that sound good…

“One of the definitions of sanity is the ability to tell real from unreal. Soon we’ll need a new definition.” – Alvin Toffler

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One thought on “454. December 11th…thinking of you today…Fast Eddie…and what you’re doing with yourself…these days…

  1. Sitting here, breaking fast, and I read this post to Clay, who is now smiling between bites of muesli.

    You make a morning shine, Robert.

    Thank you 🙂

    Like

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