459. December 20th…The road to recovery…

“Melons” 2010

“Throughout human history, the apostles of purity, those who have claimed to possess a total explanation, have wrought havoc among mere mixed-up human beings.” – Salman Rushdie

I have embraced a cold…over the past couple of days…let the ill feelings lead and guide me as what to do with my wanting to go outside in the fresh air self…my back aches from laying in bed too long…my house has become smaller…there is a sick smell I detect…my cats seem more lazy and uninterested…and overall…there is a feeling that this cold has unpacked…but is now gathering its things to return…someplace else other than here….

I’ve always been under the belief people change when the test results come back positive or they’re going through the windshield at 75 miles per hour…and basically I still do with a few exceptions….change is the most difficult yet life changing ability we have…I do feel we have the capabilities to alter everything in our lives…if 1. we see the need to alter them…and 2. if we have the courage to step away from what we know to explore what we don’t….see how it fits….

perhaps hours on a couch watching Netflixs… can change anybody’s mind…about what need be done….vs…what is being done…and we can only do enough until the hand washing and sanitizing becomes an OCD trait and which is worse….a cold…or 634 bars of soap in the cabinet…and special gloves to open and close doors…I can see how this could turn into a real problem….speed dialing the nurse’s hotline…book marking Web MD…all of the things I would normally do…that this time…I’ve put the brakes on…and for as nervous as that may make me…it also is liberating to a degree…makes me realize the urgency and importance of the whole issue is still there…just not…a billboard at every major intersection…in every major city with a population over 20,000…

I think it is interesting to do the things I normally do when I am sick…I sat outdoors and drew a few drawings…I can’t say they are any different from others…but I do know what I was feeling was much different than similar drawings…so maybe the difference is subtle…unoticable…who knows….my intention may be have been the same…yet the battle going on in my sinus just might have altered the end result a bit…

I awakened this morning…feeling much better…the cold is losing…something I knew would happen…something inevitable…no doubt…just part of the process of being ill…and seeing things from a place of sickness….certainly not a good place…but nevertheless a place I’ve been for the past few days…small things known…accepted and stowed away….for the next time…as it won’t be the last…

maybe being sick…says more than just being sick…perhaps it has a whole other story that the forceful need to stay still and quiet is about….the necessary resting…all of the elements that make a cold or flu…the thing we want to blame when in reality…it is the need to be still and take some time that is mandatory and something we have to do before we screw ourselves in way to tight…or force ourselves into a position that doesn’t work…

I certainly don’t welcome sickness…and perhaps my writing comes from delirium…from fever…but it seems that being sick last long enough to realize how important well really is…and that’s the part I’m talking about….

“The concept of total wellness recognizes that our every thought, word, and behavior affects our greater health and well-being. And we, in turn, are affected not only emotionally but also physically and spiritually.” – Greg Anderson

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s