492. February 14th…It fills the gaps…..that’s what it does…

“Shadows” 2011

“The best blood will at some time get into a fool or a mosquito.” – Benito Mussolini

“Of all that is written, I love only what a person has written with his own blood.” – Friedrich Nietzsche

I like really serious people….but only for a few seconds…after that it’s excruciating…much like taking a trip with someone who drives 10 miles an hour under the speed limit to be “Safe”….you’re going to get there…but the price often is much higher than the bus or even walking….

Love…that miraculous sensation…that much like a New Years resolution…is celebrated in a much more…overt way today…than on any other day…and how odd is that…that we would announce to someone how much we love them…and maybe the announcement as well as the acceptance has a greater meaning…or is more concentrated…

I’ve been in love before…and it is a wonderful experience…something that can make the dark…bright…interrupt a life with great jolts of joy and pleasure…and to me…love is about “fit”…and how the fit feels…in every aspect of the word…how fingers interlace when holding hands…or how your lips mesh…and do you travel well…I think love like anything good…often has a tendency to be effortless…

sort like a river moving along…not a whole lot to see unless you’re interested in looking at a river…then all of the nuances…begin to emerge…different ways of seeing it all pass the same thing…

I suppose to a large degree…the chaotic…nature of love is what keeps us coming back for more…the predictablly unpredictable tight rope of amor…knowing well that a missed step might just get you into the arms of that someone….who happens to be walking by…with open arms…wide….just sort of wandering around with some half-baked plan….who knows….

my very first love was a girl named Mary Mayfield…I can still see her at my birthday party when I was 8…we had a wicked attraction…just had no clue it was there or anything about it…I was a very shy…dirt kicking…shuffle my feet…stare at the ground sort of kid…Mary and I went through parochial school together…and I’m quite confidant she had absolutely no clue of my deep undying love…it’s what you get for not doing or saying at least something…right???…

I think now…some 46 years later I’ve come to the conclusion…if you love someone tell them…what happens after that…..doesn’t really matter

so hopefully you can do something nice for your sweetheart tonight…and every night…forward…

Matilde, years or days
sleeping, feverish,
here or there,
gazing off,
twisting my spine,
bleeding true blood,
perhaps I awaken
or am lost, sleeping:
hospital beds, foreign windows,
white uniforms of the silent walkers,
the clumsiness of feet.

And then, these journeys
and my sea of renewal:
your head on the pillow,
your hands floating
in the light, in my light,
over my earth.

It was beautiful to live
when you lived!

The world is bluer and of the earth
at night, when I sleep
enormous, within your small hands

Pablo Neruda

 

 

 

 

 

 

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5 thoughts on “492. February 14th…It fills the gaps…..that’s what it does…

  1. Robert, I’m a firm believer that love, especially first love, has a lot to do with smell. I think it is the “kicking in” of an ancient pheromonal apparatus, below the level of conscious awareness, that knocks us on our asses.
    Some very interesting studies have been done on this. Women, it appears, are attracted to men who smell right to them. Genetic tests indicate that men who don’t smell right are genetically closer to them and that reproducing with them would be far more likely to result in genetically inferior offspring. The ones that smell “right” or pleasant are more genetically distant and safer to breed with successfully.
    I met my wife when I was 15. She smelled GREAT! 45 years later, sometimes, when I give her a hug and a peck in the morning… there it is! I always say… “Wow, you really smell like yourself today.” She usually says, “Right, and I see you are just as screwy today as you were yesterday. Stop it!… STOP IT!”…
    (but, she loves it)

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  2. I agree…smell is important…rather than….”I saw her from across the room”…it should be…”I smelled her from across the room”…

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    • I bet that is what the J. Geils Band was singing about. “LOVE STINKS”

      Just imagine Robert, if the rest of the world understood what you and I understand. One of the Beatles first hits would have been… “I Smelled Her Standing There”. The Everly Brothers would have written… “Till I Smelled You”. Jackson Brown would have written… “Doctor my Nose” and Blue Oyster Cult would have been singing… “I’m sniffin, I’m sniffin, I’m sniffin for You”.

      If you have ever wondered what kind of a singing voice I have, I will tell you. I sound EXACTLY like Charles Aznavour. (if you are not familiar with him…you should be!)

      Blue like the blue in your eyes
      you smell better than pies
      and you fill me with love…

      A whiff of the cool autumn air
      couldn’t hope to compare
      with the smell of your hair…

      The strength of a storm on the sea
      couldn’t possibly be
      like the smell of your knee…

      If… one… day… you decided to wear per-fume
      my life would become filled with such gloom,
      filled with such gloom

      The darkest of nights wouldn’t dare to declare
      to say it could compare
      to my aching despair….

      (and so on and so forth)

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      • Leave us not forget the Beatles other hit…”I Smell Fine”…I listened to Charles Aznavour ( Hier Encore,For Me Formidable)…and it is definitely top down Lincoln Continental driving up the coast sort of music…and my guess is feet a few inches off of the ground most of the time…we should never ever entertain a duet…my singing voice is a mix between Tom Waits and George Carlin….

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