495. February 19th… “It’s great to be here….It’s great to be anywhere”…..

“Carnival’s Last Day” 2011

“Killing yourself is a major commitment, it takes a kind of courage. Most people just lead lives of cowardly desperation. It’s kinda half suicide where you just dull yourself with substances.” – R. Crumb

she said very casually….”25 years from now…we will all probably be dead”…kind of half smiled…and went on with her conversation…that was more of a buzzing sound then…than words…I went to bed last night….thinking about that…

what happened 25 years ago??…and what was I doing about it then…and am I doing anything differently now…that’s what really crossed my mind before bed…I started counting things…sort of weighing my successes against my not so successes…and found over all…I am doing okay…life is alright and I am heading the direction I want to be…heading….

in painting….and especially certain styles and types of painting…there are formulas…things that are used to ensure a body looks like a body and is proportionate to the head…drawing the head and face requires an entire series of formulas…to install something believable…. in landscape painting…there is a formulaic process…that ensures foreground..middle ground and background…all congeal well…so that the image makes perspectival sense…and there is not here…while way over there remains…way over there…

I know in abstraction and non-objective work…there too is a formula type method…yet more of an individually develop process that works for the artists…that often becomes a carved in stone type of formula…one that can be taught…conveyed…even explained to a level that the process can be emulated…

regardless of the formula…the outcome is determined by the interpretation of said formula…and the end result is developed by the individual…preforming the formula…in the way they see the formula panning out…and chances are…it is more dissimilar than not…most…”Important”…formulas require a pretty similar outcome if not exact…with the exception of cooking…art..love..sex…death…and all of the other things that don’t have a hair trigger….a steep edge…with no guard rail…or a skull and cross-bones anywhere on it…

I got my hair cut the other day…and in the hair cutting conversation an old girlfriend’s name came up…the one who introduced me to this particular hair stylist…I mentioned that I think of her everyday…the hair stylist responded “You must have really loved her”…in fact I didn’t at all…I told her the only reason I think of her is one of her dogs was in my truck one day and somehow a single one of his white curly hairs ended up behind the plastic covering over my speedometer and gauges on the black dashboard…it has never moved and is always very visible …there when I look to see how fast I’m going….or what the temp or oil pressure is…

weird how a hair from a dog can really change how another person interprets my meaning of “Thinking of someone”….and in all honesty if the dog hair were not visible…I would have never thought of her at all…

what’s the point of a method…if the method doesn’t make it easier…

“We often spend so much time coping with problems along our path that we forget why we are on that path in the first place. The result is that we only have a dim, or even inaccurate, view of what’s really important to us.” – Peter Senge

 

 

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