499. March 1st… “Life is short, the art long.” Hippocrates ………..Really it is….

“My Backyard Mexico” ” 2011

“Abstainer: a weak person who yields to the temptation of denying himself a pleasure.” – Ambrose Bierce

I mean it required a clean white cloth to clean the soul….but somehow something has to get dirty to get something clean…..and it didn’t mater if they wore the clown mask and sang the fun songs…or if it was just a bunch of drunks…beating the shit out the guy dressed like a clown….it was going to be funny to someone somehow”

and so here we sit…

I was sure hoping a famous art gallery owner maybe one who owned a few galleries in New York…L.A. and Miami….was going to get into an automobile accident in front of my house on the…dead end street I live on…and her cell phone wasn’t working…so she’d have to come inside my house to call the police and 911…she’d then see my paintings…and I would be discovered….and everything would be…groovy…

there are obvious realizations that may often remain completely…obstructed and camouflaged  by choice….ease…denial…not wanting to see some level of truth…the “Situation”…and a myriad of other bs…lights that fuse of decision…yet nevertheless…the fuse has been lit…and hopefully…like any good cartoon…it is written on the side of the big round barrel of explosives…”TNT”….and the cartoon explosion will have words in it…”BOOM”….a mass of black smoke….and we get to walk away from it relatively unscathed…but emerge from the fire and smoke covered in soot…a cross shaped banaid on our forehead and our left arm in a sling…of course…smoke coming from our burned yet normally functioning body…and we appear a slight bit bewildered….shortly there after the literal light bulb illuminates above our still smoldering head…and a new and equally…obstructed…explosive plan begins to unfold….but this one’s gonna work….quathi wabbitt….

I came away the other evening…realizing that no matter what I want to paint…there is a natural pulse…a personality I paint from…I firmly believe every painting I have done…am currently working on or will do is nothing more than some version of  a self-portrait and until I somehow change self…if that is my desire…I will continue painting the way I do with a few glitches here and there…even change some things about mind to hand…hand moves brush type thinking…but that happens as it happens to me…and the everyday living stuff…

and do I want to paint like some of the artists I admire…I did…I don’t now…I’ve come to that place that I only want to explore what I’m doing when it comes to paint and building something…and outside of that…there is nothing that important…

a friend of mine made a very big decision about her work…the exploration of her work…and where it was going…her studio space…and overall a reconstruction of the model…it worked out…not exactly as she had thought it was going to…but better…that being said…the results of the actions too will be much better…

it takes a great deal of courage…to tell ourselves the truth about our work…and more often than not we are reluctant by the fragile tenuously balanced ego…there high above us….balancing precariously…between “not even close to stable” and “ready to crash”…worse is knowing and not acknowledging that…the work needs work…

as artists we have chosen a solitary sort of existence when it comes to the process…of making art…what better place to breed this idea of creativity…get together occasionally with those like…us…have a few cocktails…or better micro-brewed beer from Marble brewery…preferablly….”Citra”..and share the mind….the ideas…the stuff that makes it great…..

artists…we are the most fortunate people on the planet…we ARE groovy….

“Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind.” ~Dr. Seuss

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