502. March 9th…Liberace had Limerence…or maybe Limerence had Liberace…kind of chicken or the egg thinking…

“Wednesday’s Thinking” 2011

Limerence: “The conscious mind hungers for money and success, but the unconscious mind hungers for those moments of transcendence when the skull line falls away and we are lost in love for another, the challenge of a task or the love of God. Some people seem to experience this drive more powerfully than others.”

I was a crossing guard at St. Clement’s Parish School…wore a bright orange…belt with a shoulder strap…and held a sign that had written in bold red letters…”STOP“…I could blow the whistle in the event of some heinous infraction….but there was never any danger…as the cars had already stopped by the time I would step out in front of them…let me fellow uniform clad…parochial school geeks…make their way to mom’s…brand new Lincoln Continental…but I had power…limited power…but nonetheless…power…I literally controlled people’s movement for about 20 minutes…a few times a month…god was it great….

crossing guards…are like 85-year-old security guards…really the only way they can stop anyone from doing anything is…by shooting them….which won’t happen…but they have this fictitious power…and maybe 65 years ago he could kick your ass…so badly it would take months to figure out how to put it back on…but now….nothings going to happen other than maybe an intellectual beating…maybe…I remember an elder security guard responded once to my question asking directions by…sticking his tongue out at me and giving me the raspberry noise…I guess he forgot his hearing aid that day…or misunderstood “where is Funston and 9th” as..”look…funny man..I’ve got a knife”….

I’m no longer writing everyday as I have for many years….I’ve opted for every other day…the days in between I’m painting 3-5 small paintings on paper….sort of like starting smoking all over again…getting back into the habit…one little painting at a time…I like reflecting back over the year and seeing a few hundred small paintings…where they started…what happened along the way..what new habits I might have developed and how I’m seeing things a little differently…not to mention I have Christmas…birthdays…anniversaries…almost every gift giving occasion covered…

I really feel it necessary to do something everyday…something that makes my hand  translate what my mind sees…as so often there is a connection…yet something doesn’t fire right or touch ends perfectly so the idea mutates before it leaves the fingertips…reveals itself…I’m thinking the more the hand follows the brain…the easier the hieroglyphics begin to become understood…and the more that happens… that’s when  the real stuff emerges…

the other day while taking a walk…my father and a bunch of his friends…landed in a large cottonwood tree…and began making a great deal of noise…there was something in it…that I needed to hear…pass it from hand to hand…juggle it with a couple of Christmas ornaments…then blow it out of my hands like a tuft of down…it’s these experiences that remind me more than anything I am very much alive…and owe a great deal for that place my feet rest at any given time of the day…not to mention have a responsibility to myself to make this trip…undeniablly one worth the fare…

so this all lead me to minimizing my everything…taking it down to its basic elements…and clearly defining what glasses are half empty as opposed to those that are half full…and just because the level is the same…certainly does not mean they are the same…for me it is always a  1…2…3…turn…type process…as I know there is a great deal more between 1…and…2…just as there is between 2 and three…but it’s very easy to glaze over that like getting to the destination…with no recollection of the trip there…

maybe it’s flashcard…that might be the secret…mobile….spur of the moment flash cards…I’ve often thought of carrying a large writing pad in my car to write messages  to show the other people I’m sharing traffic with…you know things like “Look Up“…or ‘There’s something going ON…what do you think?”…maybe…”The end is near…pack light“…or “Does this shirt make me look fat?“…or…”Are you new at this?”…one of my many favorites…. “Did you just fart?” …I realize these could get very existential…long and drawn out for a brief encounter…with really no end in sight…but it’s better than fist shaking…and flipping people off…maybe they’ll smile more….

my friend Bob once…suggested I always pay for the person behind me on a toll bridge…and I have since 1997…it’s just like flashcards…keeps them wondering….

“When I examine myself and my methods of thought, I come to the conclusion that the gift of fantasy has meant more to me than any talent for abstract, positive thinking.” – Albert Einstein

 

 

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2 thoughts on “502. March 9th…Liberace had Limerence…or maybe Limerence had Liberace…kind of chicken or the egg thinking…

  1. …”I really feel it necessary to do something everyday…something that makes my hand translate what my mind sees…as so often there is a connection…”

    Yeah Robert, I know exactly what you mean, but, my eyes are already so bad I don’t dare take the chance. There sure are a lot of “them” out there though.

    The [Did you just fart?] sign is a stroke of genius. It could almost fit any occasion. I’m making one today! And ending with that quote from Uncle Al…. if you start going 3 days between posts it be just too damn good to read.

    Mrs. N

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  2. Mrs. N
    My eyesight is equally as bad…i just wear an optivisor 3x magnification glass…everywhere…looks weird but works wonderfully…we should share signs….there’s great value in teamwork….not to mention comparing notes and results…be well…

    Robert

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