513. April 14th…Live like you were…Denis Diderot…at least some of Denis Diderot…

“Devil’s Claws” 2011

“If there is one realm in which it is essential to be sublime, it is in wickedness. You spit on a petty thief, but you can’t deny a kind of respect for the great criminal.” – Denis Diderot

so it sort of seemed like a bucket of chicken…a whole bunch of parts from a whole bunch of birds…and who knew if they’d ever had names…or were they just numbers…and did calling one…”Big Chicky”…make any difference…I’d thought about where all of it was going…and ease seemed like it was downhill…but down lead…”there”… which was not part of the pieced together map…my friend Robin Caruso…not the singer or the actor…maybe he was a transgender…mind bender…but he knew his stuff…when it came to piecing together maps…I thought Iowa though…wasn’t even close to Florida…

around 4 am…this morning…two cats were either embraced in passion or preparing for combat close to my house…all of the neighborhood dogs were making a great deal of noise…at the great deal of noise…sort of struck me as there was a lot of stuff going on…early in the South valley…and a lot of living things were indirectly involved in it…not really knowing anything about what was going on at all…yet somehow needed to find something to do with the noise…or go back to sleep…me I opted for the sleep….for another couple of hours…

I painted outdoors on Monday…for the better part of the day…to say it was inspiring is a small word for what I felt…my personality has always been that of a constant tug of war…not necessarily opposing factions pulling against one another…but ideas that are somehow bred off of each other…so rather than pulling against…mano a mano…my tug of war is often a more side to side style..a rather…horizontal battle of the mind…where often what I love is what I don’t think I really want  yet when it is there in front of me I realize how much I do love it….

while sitting on a rock bench…I looked to the west for a good hour…the landscape sat static but the information from it reminded me of brush stroke…it really looked like what it was…as far as landscape…but the hypnotizing factor of this part of the world whispered…swirled…changed color…motion…moved closer…pulled further away…as if I was looking through one of those big head small body making carnival mirrors…my reaction was a sigh…a resignation of place…arms out and a silent “I really do love you”…even though I knew I was going to get nothing back other than the beauty that was right in front of me…not somewhere else…

what I am doing is right for me…it feels right and I suppose that is enough to make it all work…I just know that when I can sit for a few moments…really take a look at the world…some level of true understanding begins to emerge…time takes a brief hiatus…all that is important floats to the top…the stuff that truly matters still swims…and I can see what it is that I want to pay more attention to and less attention to…that sounds so obvious…yet often that “place” is miles away from miles away…but always right there…and how that works…is the mystery…but a good one…so it clearly shouted place is right where it is at that moment…and there may be a clear path to another moment and another one…and the process continues…but doing…it being it…every second of every day will surely make a difference…when Pat Travers sings…later on…

it made me think of the whole idea of “Biological Clocks”…I’ve always wanted a “Biological Clock”…I’m not sure what it looks like and how different it may be from a regular clock…  “Biological Clocks” are defined as:

1. An internal mechanism in organisms that controls the periodicity of various functions or activities, such as metabolic changes, sleep cycles, or photosynthesis.
2. The progression or time period from puberty to menopause, marking a woman’s ability to bear children.
if I were to build a Biological clock this is what it would look like…it would flash at random times throughout the day…and stay lit all of the time….

sometimes flashing like a strobe light…other times a slow methodical flash…and maybe it would be encased in a 1970’s Mirrored Disco ball…hang from the ceiling and periodically when I was supposed to get out of the house…randomly…Alicia Bridges would begin singing…”I love the Night Life“…and that would be my cattle prod to start the “Boogie” process….

like anything the clock is going to stop some day…and I’d rather not know when just that when I flip the switch…the white flash of a spent light bulb blinds me for an instant….I get that nano second of the roller coaster dropping out beneath me that beautiful landscape in front of me… the satisfaction of great sex a good martini…a chocolate glazed doughnut …green chile stew from Garcia’s  and then…as the song goes “Boom…Boom out go the lights”…

“Every man has his dignity. I’m willing to forget mine, but at my own discretion and not when someone else tells me to.” – Denis Diderot


2 thoughts on “513. April 14th…Live like you were…Denis Diderot…at least some of Denis Diderot…

  1. Hi Robert. Biological clocks have always fascinated me. I have one that can only be likened to the kind they have at banks, on the vault. All my life, at 2:00pm, the lights go out. There is nothing voluntary about it. If we are traveling I must be there at 2:00 or the car will simply go off the road, off a cliff, and land in a ball of flames. It’s a given and my wife has always had to account for that in our travel plans.
    If we go to visit others they always greet us at the door and show me the place they have prepared for my nap at 2:00. Interestingly enough, I have never ever needed an alarm clock and always awake at 4:00am. Actually, I’m quite fond of my biological arrangement as it affords me a degree of certainty with regard to my day. I admit, it was puzzling in my youth. Being of German and English extraction I saw no reason why, what is clearly a siesta, should be built so strongly into my biology. Only a few years ago I learned that my fathers mother, who died when he was a baby, was Brazilian. My father died when I was only 4, so, this information was never communicated to me. In the light of it I can only think that it goes a long way in explaining the three most unusual things about me.
    1. My overpowering need for a siesta.
    2. My nothing less than astounding ability to do the Mambo and the Merengue!
    3. The comfort I feel when I pile fruit on my head.


    1. Mrs. N

      I too have the siesta time setting…acquired it many years ago on a month long trip to Puerta Vallarta. Tried it and it stuck…generally mine is right after lunch…no more than an hour….my alarm is good for within 10-15 minutes regardless of what time I go to sleep…and there is something about 6:30 in the evening in the fall… I’ve yet to qualify, as everything just stops…no matter what…I think it has to do with the sun and what’s going on…

      I am glad to hear you’ve discovered your genetic predisposition for the Mambo, Merengue and fruit piling…I am of Scottish and French descent…so I have a tendency to want to pick up heavy things move them to someplace else…while illustrating and explaining my reasons with the extensive use of both hands…

      I hope you are well and spring has settled in…it surely has here…


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