533. June 2…Give Big Doughnuts….Get Big Doughnuts back….kind of…

“No Connection” 2011

“A dwarf standing on the shoulders of a giant may see farther than a giant himself.” – Robert Burton

“‘I like the fever pitch…that 20 minutes before something is done”…that’s what she always said when she was late…a hand to large to get the bug out of the jar…but we watched…”Play Misty for Me”…and somehow she got it…polished her toenails there on the coffee table…and I loved the sound the ice made in the mostly empty glass…and nights these days…the wind would suck the air right out of the clapper…clapper house…I could hear her arguing with…what ever his name was…he gave me a red checkered handkerchief…with the test pattern on it…you know the one with the Indian chief…it felt like a couple of nickels in my pocket was all…nothing too great…Dom…he was a heroin addict…once…well maybe twice…I never liked how he picked his teeth t the dinner table“….(from the Black Eye Project)

there are many things I used to think important…most of those things have dwindled down to but a few…and those few are very…very important..to me…my first grade teacher…Mrs. Womack…called me a “late bloomer“…I’m pretty unclear how a seven-year old can be a late bloomer…or for that matter how anyone can see the “Late Bloomer qualities” in a 7 year old…there has only been a few years to do anything…and so maybe I didn’t do them in the first half of my life…you know the first 3 1/2 years….but nevertheless….I guess based on her position..authority…experience…and maybe magical powers…I was…I asked her to marry me when I was seven…so I still question the…”Late Bloomer” thing…I would have thought myself a rather progressive child…based on my ability to want a stab at committment at such an early age…

the important things  were like a basket filled with string…unwound tangled string…and there was always something new getting added to the basket…you know like staples…sticks…tape…all of the stuff that made the nest of string even less managable…and I suppose there was a reason I occupied myself with the…”important” things..(ITS)…..my guess was to not really deal with the “truly important things”…or TITS as I like to call them..see where this is going…???…no really I think we are designed to be generous…but not too generous…and that’s what we need to learn…all of you “Late Bloomers“…because generosity…even though a great trait is also…easily exploited and abused….so that leads me to this

Give to Get“…. mentality and this idea that giving gets…so I think that in order to get what it is we want…we have to give it first…so instead of wanting love…maybe giving love first…allows getting love to happen…and that kind of sounds like a…”I want _____so in order to get ____I have to give ____ but the end result is me getting ____”…and that sounds a okay…for the most part…I’ll explain “The Most Part

ah…”The Most Part“…being an artist..I understand the “Most Part“…and since I made it up…I understand it better than most…but to me the “Most Part“…is that place where it is perfectly acceptable…ok and reasonable to expect what I/you/we want from everything…in other words…when say…I finish a painting…put a price tag on it of $500.00…my expectation is I am getting paid for the work I put into the painting…I’d like that validated just as a job is validated by a weekly/bimonthly pay check….I don’t want to negotiate price…just like I don’t negotiate the price with my dentist…doctor…auto mechanic or anybody else…I want to be respected for the time I’ve put into the work both currently and the amount of education/experience I have…just like my dentist…doctor..and auto mechanic…and the “Most Part“…really is just like every other thing that every other person who loves what they do does…and that is…they do because  they get a great deal of stuff… in return…satisfaction…friends…naked people to share the bed with…hugs on cold days…etc…

back to “give to get“…there is nothing wrong with knowing that if I give I get back in return…and there shouldn’t be…as there is nothing wrong with consciously giving to get…sure it’s great to give because it makes us all feel good…and it’s great to think we have no expectation for return…but it is also…not very realistic…truthful…or even believable…I think it’s like acting as if we like something when we don’t …but choose to continue acting…sure it helps the acting career…not to mention where else do I do that…and to whom else do I do that to…giving applies to both great and not so great…the caliber of what we give..should be expected in return…give a pancake…get something close to a pancake…sort of…

According to karma…”performing positive actions results in a good condition in one’s experience, whereas a negative action results in a bad effect. The effects may be seen immediately or delayed.”…while Dharma is defined as…” The principle or law that orders the universe…Individual conduct in conformity with this principle...The essential function or nature of a thing.”…beginning to sound a bit like this whole give to get thing…

I’m not concerned about what I give and what I get…because I know I only want to be given great stuff…so in order for that to happen…I can only give great stuff first…that’s kind of like having a direct line and endless gift certificates to Santa…the tooth fairy…Easter Bunny…the Ronco infomercial sales guy…and a lifetime all day pass to…one of those parking lot carnivals…and I’m winning the big blue stuffed bear…for hitting the bullseye…

with both my eyes closed….

“There is not enough love and goodness in the world to permit giving any of it away to imaginary beings.” – Friedrich Nietzsche



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