546. July 11…we have about 500 million breaths in a lifetime…I’m making sure it’s… “In goes the good air…out goes the bad”…

“Another Man’s Poison” ©2011, Robert Redus

“Waiting is painful. Forgetting is painful. But not knowing which to do is the worse kind of suffering.” – Paulo Coelho

There is always a first time…that is what I have forgotten…some days…and is something I have been in the habit of reminding myself of when I look for what could be the first time for something new…even though I have experienced something similar…

I painted 3 small paintings in T or C yesterday after a walk and some picture taking early in the morning…those three paintings were born of sorts… “there”…not any place else and everything around me…all that had influenced me right then…right there…was what made those paintings become what they did…their birth certificates read…”Truth or Consequences, New Mexico, 7/10/11…and that was the very first time for those paintings…that can never be different than what it is…

     

Perhaps… “Firsts”…are like the number of breaths in a lifetime…definable…but in a weird way…the average respiratory rate reported in a healthy adult at rest is usually 12 breaths per minute…that’s about 504,576,000 breaths….if you live to 80 years old….thinking of it this way makes the number of possible …“Firsts”…in a lifetime….a huge event…or huge events…depending on the choice of one a or a few hundred thousand… “firsts”…

Everything too…either does…or does not….I guess knowing that…I question the reasoning for the constant desire to experience the same things…when knowing that if it does not…stop…and if it does…continue until it either 1. stops doing  or 2. it still is doing but you don’t want to do it anymore…I’m certain it is consistency and familiarity that has a great deal to do with the repetition of a process…

yet what I’m hearing is just the opposite from those who have lived lives of consistency and are now staring at some obstacle there directly in front of them…that is now preaching a different method for an outcome that just might be that “Answer” they’d been looking for over the entirety of their life…and reflection has been the tool that illustrates the flaw to where they have been…not where they are going…and now the breaths are getting shorter in amount and time is becoming more valuable…the actions are more calculated…and deliberate…and what really matters is doing what really matters…

so I guess what matters is if what each of us is doing is what fills us each day then… halleluiah…but if it only fills it up part ways….it might be time to try something again for the….first time….

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