533. June 2…Give Big Doughnuts….Get Big Doughnuts back….kind of…

Thoughts from the "Tinman"

“No Connection” 2011

“A dwarf standing on the shoulders of a giant may see farther than a giant himself.” – Robert Burton

“‘I like the fever pitch…that 20 minutes before something is done”…that’s what she always said when she was late…a hand to large to get the bug out of the jar…but we watched…”Play Misty for Me”…and somehow she got it…polished her toenails there on the coffee table…and I loved the sound the ice made in the mostly empty glass…and nights these days…the wind would suck the air right out of the clapper…clapper house…I could hear her arguing with…what ever his name was…he gave me a red checkered handkerchief…with the test pattern on it…you know the one with the Indian chief…it felt like a couple of nickels in my pocket was all…nothing too great…Dom…he was a heroin addict…once…well maybe twice…I never liked how he picked his teeth t the dinner table“….(from the Black Eye Project)

there are many things I used to think important…most of those things have dwindled down to but a few…and those few are very…very important..to me…my first grade teacher…Mrs. Womack…called me a “late bloomer“…I’m pretty unclear how a seven-year old can be a late bloomer…or for that matter how anyone can see the “Late Bloomer qualities” in a 7 year old…there has only been a few years to do anything…and so maybe I didn’t do them in the first half of my life…you know the first 3 1/2 years….but nevertheless….I guess based on her position..authority…experience…and maybe magical powers…I was…I asked her to marry me when I was seven…so I still question the…”Late Bloomer” thing…I would have thought myself a rather progressive child…based on my ability to want a stab at committment at such an early age…

the important things  were like a basket filled with string…unwound tangled string…and there was always something new getting added to the basket…you know like staples…sticks…tape…all of the stuff that made the nest of string even less managable…and I suppose there was a reason I occupied myself with the…”important” things..(ITS)…..my guess was to not really deal with the “truly important things”…or TITS as I like to call them..see where this is going…???…no really I think we are designed to be generous…but not too generous…and that’s what we need to learn…all of you “Late Bloomers“…because generosity…even though a great trait is also…easily exploited and abused….so that leads me to this

Give to Get“…. mentality and this idea that giving gets…so I think that in order to get what it is we want…we have to give it first…so instead of wanting love…maybe giving love first…allows getting love to happen…and that kind of sounds like a…”I want _____so in order to get ____I have to give ____ but the end result is me getting ____”…and that sounds a okay…for the most part…I’ll explain “The Most Part

ah…”The Most Part“…being an artist..I understand the “Most Part“…and since I made it up…I understand it better than most…but to me the “Most Part“…is that place where it is perfectly acceptable…ok and reasonable to expect what I/you/we want from everything…in other words…when say…I finish a painting…put a price tag on it of $500.00…my expectation is I am getting paid for the work I put into the painting…I’d like that validated just as a job is validated by a weekly/bimonthly pay check….I don’t want to negotiate price…just like I don’t negotiate the price with my dentist…doctor…auto mechanic or anybody else…I want to be respected for the time I’ve put into the work both currently and the amount of education/experience I have…just like my dentist…doctor..and auto mechanic…and the “Most Part“…really is just like every other thing that every other person who loves what they do does…and that is…they do because  they get a great deal of stuff… in return…satisfaction…friends…naked people to share the bed with…hugs on cold days…etc…

back to “give to get“…there is nothing wrong with knowing that if I give I get back in return…and there shouldn’t be…as there is nothing wrong with consciously giving to get…sure it’s great to give because it makes us all feel good…and it’s great to think we have no expectation for return…but it is also…not very realistic…truthful…or even believable…I think it’s like acting as if we like something when we don’t …but choose to continue acting…sure it helps the acting career…not to mention where else do I do that…and to whom else do I do that to…giving applies to both great and not so great…the caliber of what we give..should be expected in return…give a pancake…get something close to a pancake…sort of…

According to karma…”performing positive actions results in a good condition in one’s experience, whereas a negative action results in a bad effect. The effects may be seen immediately or delayed.”…while Dharma is defined as…” The principle or law that orders the universe…Individual conduct in conformity with this principle...The essential function or nature of a thing.”…beginning to sound a bit like this whole give to get thing…

I’m not concerned about what I give and what I get…because I know I only want to be given great stuff…so in order for that to happen…I can only give great stuff first…that’s kind of like having a direct line and endless gift certificates to Santa…the tooth fairy…Easter Bunny…the Ronco infomercial sales guy…and a lifetime all day pass to…one of those parking lot carnivals…and I’m winning the big blue stuffed bear…for hitting the bullseye…

with both my eyes closed….

“There is not enough love and goodness in the world to permit giving any of it away to imaginary beings.” – Friedrich Nietzsche



521. May 9th… cogito ergo sum?…..or decipio ergo sum?…let’s ask Jimmy Swaggert…..OK?

Thoughts from the "Tinman"

“Old smoke…New mirrors” 2011

“A living thing seeks above all to discharge its strength – life itself is will to power; self-preservation is only one of the indirect and most frequent results.” – Friedrich Nietzsche

she asked me if they lost the paper…was it her fault…and who was to blame…I told her it wasn’t her fault…and I didn’t think anybody needed to be blamed…that seemed like a  senseless way of saying the same thing over a bunch of times…and hoping to feel good about the same answer…even when it felt poorly…she started to tear up a bit…she must’ve  been pretty sensitive…was my first thought…what she had forgiven them for…they had not done….and what they had done had been forgiven…in a small crack in the white paint way…

admitting takes a great deal of cojones…and generally the difficulties admitting…is telling the truth and almost always has to do with the “wrongs” we may have committed or the inaccuracies we allowed or perpetrated…or what we have decided someone else has done and needs to atone for….while admitting the things we do that fall under the “Right” column of the paper is quiet easy…we rarely admit we’re doing right…although we might remind people of all the right we are doing…as right is one of those things we never feel a need to apologize for..unless of course it’s doing something in the name of right…like…say…the “Spanish Inquisition”…or…”Ethnic Cleansing”…

Sometimes “our forward deception” is masked by one mask covering the next which is covering the next which is covering the next and so on…the perception of who we are is what we think we are…we might think we are forgiving…honest…trusting and honorable…and maybe we are exactly that to almost everybody we fool…I mean come in contact with…except those few people who have felt the sharp point of our lack of forgiveness…dishonesty…distrust and dishonorable acts and actions…we’ve all known someone…like this…and are like this to someone as well…yet each of them and each of us which is them…all have best friends that couldn’t say enough great things about us…so what’s the deal….

so makes me think that our perception of who we think we are is really how others perceive us to be…and we either meet that mark or we don’t…and we either try to be that person we’ve led them to believe we are or we don’t and all of the “buzz words” we’ve used to define who we think we are or more so who we think we want to be…are only believable if everybody around us see us doing the action associated with…you got it….the “buzz words….

we’ve all thought we were______________________and along with being________________ we also had all of these “wonderful” qualities: 1. ______ 2._____ 3._____ 4. _____ 5. _____ 6. _____ 7. _____ 8. _____ 9. _____ and 10._____ and never did we think we could be anything else…until after a few hours…days…months…years…decades…we became _________________ instead…with all of these “wonderful” qualities:1. ______ 2._____ 3._____ 4. _____ 5. _____ 6. _____ 7. _____ 8. _____ 9. _____ and…10._____ and within being both ___________________ and __________________ we also were very capable of displaying these “not so wonderful” qualities: 1. ______ 2._____ 3._____ 4. _____ 5. _____ 6. _____ 7. _____ 8. _____ 9. _____ and…10._____ I’ll call these qualities the…”Jimmy qualities”…we’ll get to those directly…

no doubt intention looks great on paper and maybe accomplishing 51% of the original intention illuminates the personal Buzz words…lights up the marquis enough to maintain a level of credibility that can be seen from a few blocks away…and maybe it doesn’t…it really is the action that speaks…and not most of the action…100% of the action is required…so in order to be and be with any believability we have to do…and do completely…consistently…continually…

I think of the Reverend Jimmy Swaggert…you know the Television Evangelist that got busted with a prostitute…he was busted by a fellow Evangelist (Marvin Gorman)…whom Jimmy had reported to the powers that be…had been involved in extramarital affairs…vengance was indeed Marvin’s…Jimmy televised his apology with…”I have sinned against You, my Lord, and I would ask that Your precious blood would wash and cleanse every stain until it is in the seas of God’s forgiveness.”…and most of the congregation saw Jimmy doing what he said (often called sleight of hand in some circles)   Jim was given the standard two-year suspension for sexual immorality…returned to the pulpit after 3 months…appeared not genuinely repentant..and was then defrocked…dethroned…and his credentials along with his ministerial license…were removed…Jimmy was resilient though…like bamboo…so he decided to become an independent…end of story…no not really…Jimmy was again arrested in 1991…for…that’s right…Solicitation of a ….you got it a…Prostitute…she must have been hot because when he was pulled over…he was driving on the…wrong side of the road…now busted twice…same offense…he’s now an independent…and the consequences are different…this is what he said to his congregation…rather than admitting anything….”The Lord told me it’s flat none of your business.“…now..how’s that for walking that talk of perception…

my point is simple Jimmy is not what buzz words Jimmy uses…he’s a television evangelist…who likes prostitutes…similar to a vegan who enjoys a good T-bone…every now and again…it just can’t be…

along with admitting…comes ownership…even more difficult…but owning it is much better than renting it…living a life of convenient resolution…makes it really easy to adopt new “Buzz words” when needed…drop them in place when the slots begin to empty….makes us more believable..or at least we think so…keeps us “Right”…and ensures we can perpetuate denial of who we are..what we are…what we’ve done and said…what we will do and say….and that fuzzy old thing called memory…because we can always defend it by…”The Lord told me it’s flat none of your business.

one thing for certain….there is a little Jimmy in all of us…

 “Alcoholism is a disease, but it’s the only disease you can get yelled at for having” – Mitch Hedberg

487. February 7th…It isn’t always true…just because Lowell said it was…

Thoughts from the "Tinman"

” I Stepped Up to the Platform”2011

“Companions, in misery and worse, that is what we all are, and to try to change this substantially avails us nothing.” – Franz Liszt

as if the night was an enemy of mine….a place where all that was never understood lived…in all of the dark crevasses and cracks I’d cringe when my fingers got close….like a ravens blue-black color…that color that marked my skin…that followed me to school or when I’d hide from the bigger boys…who’d steal my lunch…ransack my briefcase…I’d buy a “Mars” bar there at the car wash with all the black women…with their gold capped teeth…their beehive hair…I looked hard at their breasts beneath their gray jump suits…they’d laughed when they called me “Honey Boy”….when I thought of them with my white milk body laying alone in the bathtub”…

crisis isn’t really the choice…or maybe it is for some..but it always is an option…and when that option is exercised…if eyes are wide open..receptivity is high…there is a great deal to learn…and a way of waking up that just might be different from the everyday…I don’t know what causes everything to begin its buzzing before…surely it accumulation…and ultimately critical mass prevails…

I’ve been questioning my place in all of that…where I’ve decided to stand….I think of the animal activist who protested the “Running of the Bulls”…many years ago..waved a banner in the arena…as the bulls entered..they trampled the protestor…I guess the bulls didn’t see the protestor was on their side…so the intention was a really good one…but even in good intention…crisis can arise…

I’ve heard the cliche many times…”what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger“…I don’t believe that at all…it’s like the apple a day rhyme…it’s not the apple…that keeps the doctor away…its what ever you decide to replace as the first word/s…that keeps the doctor away…example…”4 eggs friend in bacon grease a day…keeps the doctor away“…so not getting killed because of something…doesn’t increase my strength…I think it’s more about doing smart…than doing because the capabilities are there…and what the hell…any moron can try tight rope walking…but success separates the men from the boys and a visit to the emergency room…an extended stay in ICU-vs- cracking open a few cold ones after another successful high wire walk…

I suppose we should expect crises…given who we are and what we do…and will respond to accordingly…I was watching an air show with a buddy  in Denver…the Korean era fighter plane did a loop to loop missed his ideal moment…and augured into the ground in a fireball…killing himself instantly…it was shocking…but all my friend could say was…”Great, he really screwed up, hopefully the stealth fighters are next“…and I got that…whatcha going to do was his response…there was still a lot more to see…

so where I stand in all of this…actual location…figurative placement of the old dogs…is much like a conversation I had about Mark Rothko…and how his painting have a “never finished” attitude about them…there is always room for another color…coat of paint…and following his color field thought that could go on far past the horizon…and rather than looking for some end in crisis…there has to be a continuum like a Rothko painting…that has the possibility of revisiting…returning… pulling it from the rack and painting on it with all of the new information…the new thoughts…ideas…what better way to paint than to paint the same painting a few hundred times…with new stuff…

crisis is defined as: “a stage in a sequence of events at which a trend of all future events, especially for better or worse, is determined; a turning point”… so crisis has an equally “Better” side…and I think in most cases it shows itself…

right after the…clouds have dissipated…and whatever bright and clean looks like to you…crisis doesn’t have to be this….but it sure sounds good

“I write-down to speak-up.” – M.K. Asante Jr.

 

 

 


 

486. February 5th… “Distractions”…live tonight…7pm… Five Dollars buys you all you can carry.

Thoughts from the "Tinman"

“Ten” 2011

“If the facts don’t fit the theory, change the facts.” – Albert Einstein

all of the Jesus photos undulating in the candle light movement…they all continued to stare…the same dead…peaceful gaze….. a pair of black fish net stockings had covered… some of them….they didn’t really care what I was doing….didn’t care if I was saved….or heading that direction…they were reminders….Wendy was only Wendy…I was only me…we were here for the same reason….just on different ends of the rope”…

another day of “hands in the air” living…while my quiet demon sings…”The Power of Lust“…repeatedly in my brain…maybe a new reminder…I don’t know…perhaps something I should pay a little more attention to…

Blaise Pascal wrote…. “All of man’s misfortune comes from one thing, which is not knowing how to sit quietly in a room”…and I agree…I especially like his ideas on diversion and our “Hopeless condition“…I chew them a great deal more than anything else…

distraction is that wonderful pulling force…that thing that may lead to water or not…yet takes us away from where we were…I mediate everyday…and initially…meditation was nothing more than closing my eyes…breathing deeply and basically thinking of everything I’d been thinking about when my eyes were open and I wasn’t breathing deeply…infused with distraction…thoughts that just couldn’t wait…sitting there breathing…trying to expand myself was futile it seemed…I mean what was the point…I could be driving and doing the exact same thing …right?

it was accumulative…like anything that we choose to make a part of ourselves…the more we do it the more it becomes a natural process…something that is part of the ritual…H.I. McDunnough…was really good at petty robbery of convenience store…surely because he practiced…while his distraction was the straight and narrow…raising a family…and a wife who was in law enforcement…he also knew the tools of his trade well enough to avoid the long sentences….

the inability to sit quietly in a room and distraction are like conjoined twins…because distraction is such an enormous force in life…it is difficult to separate the time for quiet and the time for dealing with a file folder of distraction…as we mostly live the distraction…

a nutritionist I know once told me to take one day out of the week and fast…just water…maybe diluted juice….to give my digestive system a vacation…from all of the business at hand…I did that for a few years and found I felt better…my system seemed to like the vacation and all was working well…between digestion and me… and it made sense…to take a break…

I’m finding that it is… “Time” again…for a vacation…from my distractions…it’s time for some new ones…that are a new delicacy…ones with different tastes and flavors…some that look like the bicycle I had when I was a kid….or that are different shades of blue…or smell like freesia…with the footwork of a good Tango…

“It is only at the first encounter that a face makes its full impression on us.” – Arthur Schopenhaur


 

482. January 28th…There’s a new “apple” in town…

Thoughts from the "Tinman"

“Enso #2” 2011

“If you don’t change your beliefs, your life will be like this forever. Is that good news?” – Somerset Maugham

every morning I see numbers…in front of me…everything with certain confines and perameters…and at what times they should be within these brackets…that is just the way it is these days…I like numbers especially…the number…6….I like adding address numbers together…phone numbers…take them down to one number…all of things that make a walk more than just a walk…

I always wanted a few hundred thousand dominoes…so I could construct one of  structures that with one push…that whole domino theory begins to reveal itself…and then run a few blocks to the end of the piece and watch it stop…or maybe ring a bell or pour a glass of water…

it made me think of this incredible artist named…Arthur Ganson…his work is wonderful…there is something about the silence of the piece and the noise of the machinery together that is just brilliant…

every time I see Ganson’s work I’m reminded of all it takes to make one small thing happen…and continue to happen…like composing music…then playing it…I only say that at this moment because I’m listening to an incredible Bossa Nova…that would be the perfect accompaniment for one of Ganson’s faster moving pieces…but nevertheless…his work works because everything is…working with everything else…

yesterday night…I went to the local organic grocery on an apple quest…they had a nice variety of apples…I typically prefer a tart…crisp…a little sweet apple…”Pink Ladies” or “Honey Crisps”…are my favorites…but  found a relatively new apple called  a “Jazz” apple originally from New Zealand…it is a cross between a Braeburn and a Gala…wow changed my mind a bit…I purchased 3 of every variety…they had….I’d like to grow apples on a really small-scale soon….

I think what I already do and growing apples…will work well together….although…I’m leaving it opened ended in the event I’d like to raise chickens or have a garden…or make fountains….

“Inspiration exists, but it has to find us working.” – Pablo Picasso

481. January 27th…What a difference a day makes…

Thoughts from the "Tinman"

“Yellow Brick Road #4” 2011

“You can’t have a light without a dark to stick it in.” – Arlo Guthrie

Wednesday is and always has been “Free Pie” night at the local Village Inn…”Any way you slice it, the best pies in America“….I don’t believe that to be entirely true…but that’s their tag line…so somebody does….

I’m deciding to keep my hands up in the air for a little longer than I had originally planned on…and to take a line from yesterday’s writing…

today is a….”put my hands up in the air day“…one of those days I am not going to have faith…in anything…other than the day beginning and ending…see how that pans out…I’ll start with an empty bag…see what the end of the day has filled it with“…

it ended A Okay…and perhaps coincidence…planetary alignment or my coin landed on it’s edge….but I was pleased as I could be… and never really thought at all about what I was going to make the day do…rather I let it push me around like a bully…with good intention…

I learned to snorkel when I lived in Hawaii…a girl I’d met who had been diving the Great Barrier Reef…for about 6 months…had the voodoo to teach me the proper method and nuances of form and technique to make snorkeling a pleasurable experience…rather than a losing battle…she told me to lie on my stomach…loosely place my hands at my thighs…and move my feet in unison…in an up and down motion…seemed very simple in calm water…while in deeper…faster moving water with waves…my desire to “steer”…would take over…and I’d be exhausted within 5 minutes…like any good teacher…she exploited what I was doing right…and gradually guided me through what I was doing that was not right at all…and that was trying to steer with my brain…and the few muscles I thought had some chance against the Pacific…in an arm wrestling contest…she taught me to tilt my body…use my feet as a rudder…and my hands as flaps to turn…

she told me the ocean had a very clear idea of where it was going and if I was in it…I was going to go with it…although I could “steer” within the big picture…not control it…and once I got that idea…I could snorkel literally for hours…I learned to go below the waves…and the tide pushing in…to swim further out…so my ride back in was effortless…and I could maneuver like a fish…

I snorkeled everyday after that lesson…

“West and wewaxation at wast!” – Elmer Fudd

 

480. January 26th…Halloween’s coming early…or late…depending on how you look at it…

Thoughts from the "Tinman"

“Enso” 2011

“All things entail rising and falling timing. You must be able to discern this.” – Miyamoto Musashi

“when”…seemed pretty important…yet when the time came there was no possibility for anything of the idea to transpire…or for that matter to take shape…it floated like a balloon almost out of helium…inveriablly earthbound….

I’ve always been intrigued at the ability for plans to take a position…a foothold that displays some legitimacy…to breath out of the water…develop lungs when gills were present…take wing and fly on to parts unknown…

it was 19 degrees this morning…the sun was creeping and geese flew over my house awakening me…and I thought about…a place I used to sit when I lived on the coast…a small bench…above the Pacific…on a cove…a place I could stare out for as far as I could see…to the right was a very rocky beach…wedged between the rocks were broken abalone shells…they would shine when the water washed over them…I thought about what I thought about when I would sit there…which usually had to do with contentment..happiness and being satisfied….I watched as the pelicans would silently in a long straight line float just above the water…and wonder where they were going…not why they were going there…it seemed what I was seeing was just a glimpse…some small frame of time…

today is a….”put my hands up in the air day“…one of those days I am not going to have faith…in anything…other than the day beginning and ending…see how that pans out…I’ll start with an empty bag…see what the end of the day has filled it with…

From “Tales of the Floating World”… by Asai Ryōi

“Living only for the moment, turning our full attention to the pleasures of the moon, the snow, the cherry blossoms and the maple leaves; singing songs, drinking wine, diverting ourselves in just floating, floating; … refusing to be disheartened, like a gourd floating along with the river current: this is what we call the floating world”…

“‘Things that work persist” – Vinton Cerf

 

 

 

 

479. January 25th…Phalaenopsis cultivars….what’s not to like???

Art and my thoughts about being an artist, Thoughts from the "Tinman"

“Cage” 2011

“If we cut up beasts simply because they cannot prevent us and because we are backing our own side in the struggle for existence, it is only logical to cut up imbeciles, criminals, enemies, or capitalists for the same reasons.” – C. S. Lewis

tonight my karate classes start…I am excited as I am sure my students are as well…some will be very nervous…cry and want to get off of the floor go sit with a familiar person…one who doesn’t raise their voice and make them do pushups…others have been there…they know the ropes..or know them as well as they can remember them…the returning students…they have rank…each of them has received either a stripe on their belt or a new colored belt…the older students who have higher colored belts…not only have rank…they have power and they are beginning to notice that….power and what it can do…tonight will be a lesson in power…I suppose…

I think everything has a fullness to it…a completness that if explored/pursued can give up the essence of itself…show all of the smoothness…and purity of the item or thought…but I think that depends on how we look…for what reveals itself…there might be unexpected revelations as well…equally a part of the entire…

for me…much of the revelations happen after I think I really know what I am doing…and feel confidant about my…”Expertise and Knowledge“…I find myself in a place that now the questions are sharp and very precise regarding what would seemed like a giant visual landscape….rather now…the focus is clearly visible a few hundred miles away….on some miniscule little dot…that was of no notice once…yet has something to it that changes the pursuit…

I’ve thought a great deal about “Perfecting’… and what that means …well it means “excellent or complete beyond practical or theoretical improvement“..and there is a part of me that…1). knows that is a life long endeavor…2).will reveal much more than I can imagine…3).seems very isolated and focused…4). opens up many other venues of exploration…5).seems ideal for me as an artist…and 6). doesn’t really have an end…and that’s the part I really like…even though a definition says “beyond anything“…. perfection is unattainable…and is merely some stops…before the starts…

I have a  rescued phalaenopsis orchid….pregnant and …so ready to bloom…as I recall the last year it bloomed…the flowers were perfect…they were delicate…saturated with color…beautifully patterened …erotic…beautiful and everything about them screamed flawless…each an individual fingerprint…I’m reminded of a response to a blog post of mine…”When we see everything as art we taste immortality.”….orchid day is very close…my friends….

“Painting is not for me either decorative amusement, or the plastic invention of felt reality; it must be every time: invention, discovery, revelation.” – Max Ernst

 

 

 

 

478. January 23rd…Haiku and the art of a well designed…Coincidence…

Art and my thoughts about being an artist, Thoughts from the "Tinman"

“Kaze” 2011

“Men do change, and change comes like a little wind that ruffles the curtains at dawn, and it comes like the stealthy perfume of wildflowers hidden in the grass.” – John Steinbeck

I find myself listening to a particular music every Sunday…this morning it’s the Armen Donelian Trio…”Oasis”…there is nothing about it….I don’t like…it has that driving up the coast sort of sound to it…

I was talking with my friend Mars over coffee…she had not read my blog from yesterday…yet she too experienced an almost identical discovery of a lithograph from an artist named Fanny Rabel…and since I’d already been in the investigative mode…I looked her up…read what I could find about her…

I think the collision of these two events is for the most part coincidental…yet there is a part of me that is asking…”why”…and honestly a large part…not why do I think this way…but why were these two events presented to me…in a time frame of less than 24 hours…as of yet I have no answer…

what really these 2 events have done…is motivated me and in a big way…adding these with a comment from Mrs. Neutrons Garage sort of revealed the secret trick behind the disappearing girl in the air tight box behind the drape…and not really how it works but where she goes…while the magic is taking place…

and I hear my painting mentor say…”it’s about the work”…well there’s a great deal more that its about…and  part of the trek in art is finding what “It” is…I like what Gertrude Stein said…”There is no there there.”…I know with certainty there is a load of “there”…on the way to “there”…and some of it I don’t mind stepping in…

I’m not saying there has to be a solidified  plan…there has to be receptivity and even the small gaps will let large amounts in…it is combinations of many things…alignments…jumping over the edges…and willingness to experience…is it perfecting the existing skill or finding new skills…to work on…then combining them when the time is….”Right”…I don’t think so…it is just “do”….John Cage says everything is an experiment and I believe that…completely…some experiments last longer than others…some never begin…some might be there after I’m not…and I’m unsure about outcome…what it looks like…if it matters…and if it does…what does it do…

without turning
into a butterfly, autumn deepens
for the worm

Basho

 

 

477. January 22nd… “Collisions” …nothing like what you might expect…

Art and my thoughts about being an artist, Thoughts from the "Tinman"

“The Last Days” 2011

“Like vanishing dew,
a passing apparition
or the sudden flash
of lightning — already gone —
thus should one regard one’s self.” – Ikkyu

yesterday was a scavenger hunt…

while shopping at a thrift store…a friend found a beautiful lithograph by  Jean Cocteau…it was signed and dated 1925…numbereed 42/150…we sat on a couch…”for sale”…and looked up the artist on a the internet on a phone…he was one of those artists that was a painter..coreographer…sculptor…film maker…drove an ambulance during WWI…was friends with Modigliani, Picasso, Egon Schiele…and of course a boxing promoter…

after some investigation I found the lithograph was the cover illustration on an autobiography titled “Professional Secrets”…published sometime in the mid 1970’s…trail ends there…for right now…

I wondered after this discovery…why we find what we find…how it is with all of the possibilities of running into something we can run into…we run into what we do… I’ve given up trying to understand the reason…and now just let the collisions happen…when something appears at my feet…I don’t look for a reason…I look in the general direction of me feet and am more often than not…amazed with what I see…

I think it’s the “As is”…I’m really starting to get…accepting the imperfect…the incomplete and the impermanence of things crossing my path is important…it is what they are rather than what they appear to be….I mean I can distinguish the flavor of a “Fuji” apple from say a cataloupe…and can make quarters disappear… know dark from light…but it’s like smelling a meal in the savannah…but also smelling danger….it is what it is and will turn out that way as well…

the days are getting longer…here…and the birds at the feeders by my studio window are busy getting fat and ready for their respective collisions…the sky is a beautiful blue this morning…and it’s going to be a lovely day…wow…what a collision…..

“An artist cannot speak about his art any more than a plant can discuss horticulture.” – Jean Cocteau