“Truth is everybody is going to hurt you: you just gotta find the ones worth suffering for.”
I can’t say…and really neither can you…what exactly the, “right”, way might be…some call it Jesus…others, Makers Mark…porn…a spoonful of heroin…all you can eat buffets… adrenalin…a box of Little Debbie snack cakes…sleeping…and it doesn’t really matter because there is absolutely no difference…from one to the another…it all still fills some hole that we think needs filling…just like we need to find what’s right…right??…seems all of the above mentioned might border on the questionable way…given moderation is not an element in the process…
I mean, just watch Jesus Camp, drink a quart of Makers Mark, shoot a spoonful of herion after a trip to an all you can eat buffet, before a base jumping lesson, and to add to the adenine rush eat as many Little Debbie snack cakes before you deploy the chute, then go home and take a 23 hour nap…get back with me on this, would you..let me know how the dy went…
The most important thing is “Way”…which fucking direction are you heading…and even if it is not the right direction what is revealed along the way will be right for a while…or forever…who knows….
I sat the other day in the best spot possible at a farmers market…and inside my ever ticking brain, I asked myself…”How can I make the best space possible, even better?”…and you know, if I’d have had a third hand…I’d have slapped the shit out of myself repeatedly…or at least pinched me a couple of times…you know…sometimes….
“Good enough is just good enough”
And it’s really easy to always want to make something better…even if it is really, really good enough and would be hard to make better…and you know that’s a very messed up way of thinking, I think…oh, and believe me I think like this far more than I’d like to admit…So, why in the world do we do this…do we want more, better, greater something from a better situation, all the stuff we can possibly carry…to add to all of the other stuff we have carried around for a few years, decades….does a better situation make everything else better…how’s a 500k a year job sound?…what about 3 and one half hour commute twice a day that goes with that great paying job…..still better???….is it like a fantastic marmalade on a basically bland piece of toast?…I mean you can only eat so many spoonfuls of marmalade directly from the jar before a piece of toast, even toasted wonder bread, starts looking pretty good!
So I’m starting to write in my sketchbook every morning, the things that are are really good just as they are….without any thought of the blah…blah…blah that somehow floats there in the ether and says…”On the other hand”, in those quiet whispers….
I sharpened a very dull thrift store knife I purchased yesterday….and not only was the sharpening process really, really good and truly could not have been any better…but cutting the paper to see how sharp the knife was a religious experience….now could it be sharper…who cares….I don’t…..
So my entire rant today isn’t really about what you have, don’t have, the holes we fill with shit that is just another addiction to something equally as addictive to what we’ve tried to shed, it’s about satisfaction…and if you don’t own it already, you should probably make that the quest until it’s at least in view, and you know what it looks like, until it is in hand, encompassing and visceral….sorry to say, you can’t buy it, rent it, stumble upon it, find it in someone else, pray to it, inject it, eat it, tax your adrenaline glands, and Little Debbie….sure as hell doesn’t have yours….
Have a great day!!
“I’d rather be dead than singing ‘Satisfaction’ when I’m forty-five.”