528. May 23rd…the… “10 Want to do List”…and thank God I don’t have to wear spandex to do it…

Thoughts from the "Tinman"

“The Girls of Summer…(in a sort of weird way)…2011

“I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don’t have as many people who believe it.” – George Carlin

I woke this morning thinking of spandex…a troubling thought to say the least…my first and only time wearing spandex was brief…alarming and to say the least bubble bursting when it came to having “that”….body…especially knowing it was never going to happen…or at least not without having a full-time job in the gym…but I’ve come to the conclusion that spandex…however ackward…is a necessity of life…much like Doritos cool ranch…

I recently upgraded my back yard…you know chairs…a small dining table…some colorful flowers…big garden candles…and an outdoor incense spiral…it is now such a wonderful place to sit and relax…eat breakfast…or a late dinner…maybe a Marble Brewed beer on a Saturday night…something I’ve always wanted to do…just never really made the time to do…and that statement got me wondering about all of the other things…I’ve not made the time to do…

I thought long and hard about what I really want to do…omitted brain surgeon…astronaut…race car driver…all of those things that might have an exclamation like….”Oh shit!”…associated with them…so I’ve been building my list today…thinking of the short….mid and long-term lists….of ….”want to do”…and I’ve decided it can’t be like three wishes from a genie where the last wish is…3 more wishes…and I don’t want to take things I’m already doing and enhance them since…I guess I’m doing them already and why repeat the process…and I don’t really want the list to be broad and general…like say….”Great health”…the givens…seem a little to obvious…and who would want bad health to begin with…right????….and lastly my list has nothing to do with anybody else’s list or participation….not intended to be selfish…rather more directed to self improvement…which by definition will affect those who share my life with me…so my list are the things I guess that matter…more than the things that matter but not as much…oh and I narrowed it down to “10 want to do”….with a built-in option to change any want to do…at any given point…or better when I can cross it off of the list…add a new one….

I began realizing…my  “10 want to do”…list may take a lifetime…so I had to really narrow it down to the short list…say the want to do in the next 1-5 years….so here goes

1. Become a really good cook
2. Wear more colorful different clothes
3. Start learning another language
4. Plans for a long trip to Italy
5. Learn to dance the Tango…Merengue
6. Start piano lessons
7. Visit Hagia Sophia
8. Tile a bathroom floor with dominoes 
9. Buy a place that already has mature fruit bearing trees
10. Publish my book

there are a few hundred more…but these are going to work …for right now….there is no time line…these are not goals nor…”have to get done”…they are a few things that in small pieces they will produce the results I am looking for…

I’m hoping sometime in the next 1-5 years…if you come over…perhaps I’ll make a wonderful dinner of…say…Scottish Lamb with a Tomato Rosemary Reduction…Bollos…finished with a wonderful….Cassata Trifle…and a Muscato  di Asti…we can sit around the piano while I play a little Bill Evans…in a rather colorful but not to loud linen ensemble….while a slide show of Istanbul…and Ravina …play on the monitor…perhaps later a tango on the balcony… and a delicious Pink Lady apple from the trees below….and if all of this makes you sick to your stomach…I’ll comfort you with Italian poetry…from my book….holding your hair back…while you are kneeling on the domino tiled bathroom floor…throwing up….and hopefully you will do the same for me….

I think perhaps the romance of it all has gotten to me…not something unusual by a long stretch…knowing these “10 want to do’s” are now out in the universe…amassing energy as I write…is sensational….enough so….

I just might go buy some….spandex….

 “Love is an irresistible desire to be irresistibly desired.” – Robert Frost

522. “Support the Arts…or your fired” Campaign……..

Thoughts from the "Tinman"

“2 Views” 2011

“It’s a beautiful evening and it’s great to stay here and I want to dedicate a super-sexy song to you.” Mark Sandman’s last words

She told me I was dreaming…my only response was because I wanted to…never had and thought it would be a great idea…they were moving north..so he could sail…I was staying fixed until the oysters…became more real…and when I squinted my eyes and opened them it was there….not here…I knew that was going to take some time…some changes…and a more realistic way of checking things off…bundled tighter…but they were sending samples….

seemed the insurmountable was finally over… I guess…I guess really I’d just clapped my hands kind of pushed it all away with a cover all that announced I wasn’t really interested any longer…and maybe it meant my fuse was shorter and faster…or that those times I was overly concerned could now take a well deserved rest…

I read a letter today about rejection and how as an artist we should get used to it…develop thick skin…all of the clichés that go along with being in a profession that in many cases is not taken very seriously…I’ve discovered if you’re not an artists…there is not a great deal of room in life for art and all of the overhead swirling stuff that is part of art…

I once fired my dentist because he didn’t support my business…he never attended my art openings or purchased my work…even after he said he liked it a great deal…yet he sent me a reminder every 6 months about my upcoming dental cleaning and…all of  the future work that would be required in my mouth…and approximately how many thousands of dollars  it  was going to be…as he’d said…(he had a kid in school and needed to keep working)…really what he was saying was…”You need to make sure and make your appointments…get all of the work I’ve recommended…because I need you Robert to help pay for junior to attend the high-priced school back east…that I write the check for

and after my last postcard was mailed to the dental clinic…my show had closed without an appearance by my DDS…at my next appointment I asked him …why he thought it was acceptable for me to support his business while he felt no need to support mine…he had no answer…except “I couldn’t tell you“…that was enough for me…when we were done…I shook his hand and said politely “I’m firing you as my dentist, because if you won’t support me in my endeavors…I can’t support you in yours”….I’ve never heard from him again…I guess he really didn’t like my work after all....

I think artists need to take what they do very seriously…align themselves with those who on the serious scale…take what they do equally as serious…as well…and endeavor to persevere ( Abe lincoln said that to the “Civilized Tribes”)….

Paul Gauguin traded paintings for boat passage…one of Cezanne’s many still life with apples sold for $7,000 in 1949…”Who the &%$# is Jackson Pollack”…finds a women truck driver who purchases a Suspected Pollack at a thrift store in California for $5.00…gives it to her friend who doesn’t like it because it won’t fit in her trailer…it is confirmed to be an original Pollack and last estimate of it’s worth is 22 million dollars…hmmm…

that’s the beauty of being an artist…I don’t really know if I get a gold watch…a pension or any of things…that everybody else does…who knows I may be molding Alpo into the shape of a turkey in 20 years and calling it Thanksgiving…and all of my artist friends are just fine with it…and always make sure to invite me to every potluck…

really though the ability to produce art that makes people think…uplifts them…makes them question…sedates them…occupies them…angers them…stimulates them or does anything that they don’t normally experience is a wonderful thing to have happen and be a part of…

so my new approach is firing everyone that does not support me as I support them…I realize it narrows the playing field significantly…limits who I will work with and who will work with me…but it’s the whole support issue…be there or be square…

this leads me to Art show support…I’m guilty of this I know…most all of my friends are artist and invite me to openings…that often I don’t attend because of some reasonable reason at the time…which in hindsight is never very reasonable…so I’m thinking of a way to make openings without making all of them…this is my idea…it’s sort of like what I did on Facebook…if we can call each other…and really go out and have lunch without it being weird…then each of us can attend the others respective art opening…and who knows the whole lunch thing just might be the catalyst to great friendship….a future of art openings…and a list of dentists mechanics…doctors…plumbers…lawyers…cooks and miracle workers…who are willing support the business….of art….sounds like a winning situation all the way around….I’d say….

“Don’t fight a battle if you don’t gain anything by winning.” – Erwin Rommel

519. May 2nd…a team of 1…..The individual team sport…

Thoughts from the "Tinman"

“Nuevo Sandia” 2011

“When God hands you a gift, he also hands you a whip; and the whip is intended for self-flagellation solely.” – Truman Capote

team sports have always been very interesting to me…I never had any real interest in playing them…as I really didn’t like relying on someone else…to help me lose or win…it was the whole well oiled machinery conversation my father had with me in the garage when trying to explain the combustible engine and the myriad of minutia…that made starting a car…so far removed from my thinking…

well the team…works collectively for the common goal…everyone is on the same side…personal issues are just “not a part of the program“…a saying my father would say to me when I stared up at the ceiling or at my hand while he again explain  the makings and doings of the combustible engine…”Son…you are just not part of the program”…as his dream was rebuilding cars…while mine was not clearly defined other than it had nothing to do with rebuilding cars…

I tried football in high school…although I was a late bloomer…as a freshman I was a giant at  5 feet 1…and a hefty 105 pounds…of lean mean fighting machine…or at least I thought so…I’d never played football on an organized team as I went to a parish school where we had sports like judo and swimming…I think the premise for these sports were to be less combative…more individualized…giving us a sense of if we have to wear this uniform maybe we could get our minds off of it by learning to be narcissists….and experiencing the agony of defeat or basking in the garland laced thrill of victory…solely…exlusively..individually…alone…

my football experience was very short lived…I had the pit bull mind…just not the pit bull  actions…nor the pit bull size…not to mention I was a dwarf compared to the giants of well oiled machinery of experienced players who had been playing football on teams since they were young kids…sure I knew…Ashiwaza….Nagewaza…and a few other wazas…I could take my team mates/opponents to the mat and choke them out…but this was football…and I…was not part of the program…nor were any judo techniques designed to be used in high school football…

not being a part of the program is just fine…I think teams are great for certain things but there is nothing like looking across a field..and seeing that one black sheep among the “team” of white sheep…seeing that a person is much more different than they are the same…and every time I see that I have hope…I feel a sense of relief…knowing that they may become a serial killer or a person that changes the human landscape…in a good way…but either way they have stood out…they have followed what they were designed to do…granted serial killers are held in pretty low esteem these days…but hey so are politicians…my point is people are either going to be or they are not…and if they choose to be then they pay one price for admission…while if they choose not to be…the price is a little higher…or a little lower…depending on who is selling the tickets…that particular day…and maybe you get a discount for wearing a uniform…doesn’t matter what kind…could be your own…

a week from this Tuesday and Wednesday…my karate students are testing…this is a big deal…always has been and always will be…testing in martial arts is a tricky thing…as in my opinion and as an instructor…my students have been testing from the moment they walked into the class the very first day…I ask them to be a team or at least be a part of the team but when it comes down to business…it really is all about the individual…their skill…ability and desire…they are alone when with a group of their peers…

this testing my advanced class has to break boards…some of my students are nervous…some don’t know about it…have forgotten about…or don’t care…and as a child…it is very empowering being able to break a board with your hands…because…it takes only one time…and that one time says you will be able to do it forever…and what is very interesting about it is sometimes the board dictates the timbre while other times the student does…if the board talks louder than the student…it wins…if the student speaks louder they win….there is no team effort…no group that helps break the wood…

it is that wonderful moment when it is just them and the object in front of them…what ever it may be…

“Listen all! This is the truth of it. Fighting leads to killing, and killing gets to warring. And that was damn near the death of us all. Look at us now! Busted up, and everyone talking about hard rain! But we’ve learned, by the dust of them all… Bartertown learned. Now, when men get to fighting, it happens here! And it finishes here! Two men enter; one man leaves.” – Dr. Dealgood

514. April 16th…Today and Tomorrow

Thoughts from the "Tinman"

“Home…it’s whacha you make it” 2011

“Isn’t life a series of images that change as they repeat themselves?” – Andy Warhol

had a dream this morning…with a girlfriend…and me praying…yet arguing about the beatitudes..standing around a 1970’s fake wood grain table…partially covered with a brown and off white plastic table cloth…some gold plastic “Mock Italian” candle sconces on the paneled wall…each with no candle…and I am barefooted…standing on green shag carpet…wondering who the blonde headed kid and the short guy without the shirt were…I awakened…seconds before it was all going to be revealed…and try as I may…never could return to the scene with any certainty that it was going to pickup where it had left off…

my brother taught me how to ride a bicycle…it was a small red bike…from England I think….he pushed me really fast down our street…which in Gallic meant “Gray lake”…let me go…and I began peddling onto a brand new horizontal plane…

I used to get a haircut every Wednesday night…we would drive across the border at Zaragosa…my father….and 2 of his retired military friends who were neighbors… and me…I’d have to wear my brown wingtip shoes…so I could get them shined…so I could put them away to wear them again the next Wednesday…to get them shined…the barbers were fat Mexican guys who usually smoked when they cut my hair…there was a woman who would shave the side of my head give me “White walls” with a straight razor…she would use warm lather…and always wore a very low-cut blouse…I looked forward to Wednesday…sometimes when I would think about her cleavage…

I remember laying down on the highway in the Nevada desert…it was late at night…all of the stars were brighter than I could recall them ever being…

As The Sparrow by Charles Bukowski

To give life you must take life,
and as our grief falls flat and hollow
upon the billion-blooded sea
I pass upon serious inward-breaking shoals rimmed
with white-legged, white-bellied rotting creatures
lengthily dead and rioting against surrounding scenes.
Dear child, I only did to you what the sparrow
did to you; I am old when it is fashionable to be
young; I cry when it is fashionable to laugh.
I hated you when it would have taken less courage to love.

“Do not fear death so much but rather the inadequate life.” – Bertolt Brecht

509. March 29th…it’s hard to image one single day without Painting…and…Frankenstein…of course

Thoughts from the "Tinman"

“Passing the light” 2011

“Mediocre minds usually dismiss anything which reaches beyond their own understanding.” – Francois de La Rochefoucauld

after a day of intense conversation about art…painting and being artists…when I returned home…I found much of what I had talked/debated/listened was like….frayed string…my lips moved…I heard everything…the ideas came forward but what was really missing was the element of concreteness…you know…having the bags packed and ready to go…it all sounded like a strategy for battle…yet with no war to fight…great ideas with applications that had to have commitments…before they could be installed…really see the nails driven in…the steel shiny from the hits…

so naturally it got my squirrel cage mind moving in the direction I tend to call “forward”…stuffed with far to many thoughts…alternatives…new ideas…emerging like fins from the water….were they friend…foe or floating debris…that was the initial question…one that needed to be sorted…filed into the personal triage folder…dealt with accordingly…as it is not only easy to over think…but almost a requirement…to clutter…with synapse that seem no part of the current dialogue…

Occam’s razor…has finally begun to make more sense to me than not…“it is futile to do with more things that which can be done with fewer” not William’s exact words but a close paraphrase…

so I guess what transpired above all via a day long conversation and a dip into every color Golden makes….was the idea that in order to be in the game…one simply has to be in the game…sounds reasonable yet there are a few…small nuances…that work like buttons with button holes…meaning better than…“well”…the life simply put must either be a focus of minimal or no distraction…and entirely on the prize…or the life then becomes compromised…amiss…otherwise the question arises “is what I am doing…what I should be doing”…no where does one achieve by being…partially there…it is the immersion…or it is not…and as I told my boy today…there is a price to pay for either choice…being deep in the water or on the surface…each has advantages…each hindrances…and what effects one does not necessarily effect the other…the ideal…work in both locations…familiarize oneself with the depths as well as the light of the surface…as with anything something of importance can be gleaned from a stop anywhere…

when Dr. Frankenstein was working on his creation…he had a plan…one that even though most of my friends cringed with fear…I have to admit…I thought it a good one…something I actually believed there were jobs in this field and creating life from a few electrodes…well predicted lightning strikes…associating with hunchbacks… and developing a loud sinister laugh just seemed like a very doable prospect…and I have to admit the “It’s alive” part just had me quivering with anticipation…but without a doubt the good doctors plan was well intended…just lacking a bit of due diligence…but still really good…how was he to know Frank would have the potential for disaster…after all a brain is a brain…

so the conclusion…whether it’s bringing life back to the dead…or painting pretty pictures…business is not just waiting for lightening and plugging plugs in or hoping for miracles…and as my father would say…. “waiting for the paintings to just walk themselves right on out the door to where they need to be”…except he never used the words paintings…but you get my point…doesn’t really matter what we do…it matters what we do with it….

“I fear my enthusiasm flags when real work is demanded of me.” – H. P. Lovecraft

508. March 26th…Raise your hand if the first letter in Ertist is… “A”

Thoughts from the "Tinman"

“It’s Only Half over” 2011

“People who have given us their complete confidence believe that they have a right to ours. The inference is false, a gift confers no rights.” Friedrich Nietzsche

whether you believe in evolution or not…is unimportant…as evolution means any process of formation or growth…not necessarily gills to lungs…wings to arms and the dreaded…monkeys to man….conversation…and I know there are those who just hear the word evolution and the pulpit crowds with conversation…and what is the antichrist of the evolutionary followers emerges…but to try and use the only other accepted possibility …”Creationism”…in my blog this morning seemed as unlikely a possibility as those who think we came from chimpanzees… and I agree… (truly it was Proconsul africanus)…but nevertheless…applying evolution to the art world verses applying creationism to the art world…is a pants or no pants argument….

the face of the art world has changed dramatically…most likely a change that will never revisit return as historically art always seems to do…and a change that not only effects art…but everyone within the blast zone…galleries…collectors…and most importantly artists themselves…

can you name the last couple of art movements…Minimalism…Pop Art…..what’s happened since then…a host of attempts that have barely left visible scratches on the inside of the coffin lid…

art movements were at one time like waves on the ocean…another following another one which in turn followed another one…often these movements were in contrast to the previous movement…finding that by disavowing the previous movement the current new movement was more of what was happening…exactly where the pulse was….

so why is it there is no art movement…these days…no pulse…no collective that is driving the art world…the reason…in my opinion is very much just like poor breeding…lack of skill…a fantastic sense of self…saturated with kalopsia…a fundamental belief that mediocrity is excellence…oh and of course many like minded “artists” that perpetuate the cardboard conversation ….and finally art has been dumbed down to a point that habitus is veil thin and seems the outcome is  irreversible…art pursuits no longer require expertise…longevity… experience…study…or really anything that other traditional pursuits do….what matters most is desire…and the ability to claim title….nothing more…

all of these elements are the result of what it once was…altered by a process of formation and growth..(evolution)…realize…formation/growth can also define a cancer….tumor…disease…etc…the art world…much as we’d all like to see it void of disease…is not….

galleries are dying on the vine these days…call it revolt in a silent sense…blame the economy…but the why is unimportant…it is the what can be done that matters…and so a few galleries close their doors….that’s part of the evolutionary process…what to do next….many gallery owners are changing their mode of operation…altering what they do and how they do it…adapting to the current conditions…in hopes better will return…just with a different face…

artists…have a greater ability now than any other time in history…sure…first it was explaining the ether on cave walls….then painting for the church….finally secular art took hold…and from that moment forward the pattern has been the same….not anymore….artists now have more possibilities…greater ability to show their work…and take charge of where it goes and what it does…who sees it…who doesn’t….etc…more artists are working in small collectives…have galleries within their studios that represent just their work…show their work in spaces that are transitory…and mobile….work with other artists who have the same ideas….not the traditional ideas….

maybe the new art movement might never take place….and was never designed to…and just maybe we’re past all of that….

“It is no use saying, ‘We are doing our best.’ You have got to succeed in doing what is necessary.” – Winston Churchill

504. March 18th… “The future influences the present just as much as the past.”…..

Thoughts from the "Tinman"

“The  Dreams…These Days” 2011

“The world has no room for cowards.” – Robert Louis Stevenson

waiting for “it” to happen is the expectation of the unknown…married to the unlikely…giving birth to the improbable…that being said…having no expectation…nor being attached to the outcome…sounds so luxurious…so spiritually enlightened that there hardly must be any room at the top….for elbows to move freely or breath to even have a faint odor of bad….

I’ve tried all of my life to have no attachment to the outcome…and I say “tried”…as my nature is to define some end…with some result that kind of looks like I want it to….rather than having some void that gets filled with something at the end of it all…and hopefully it’s right up there with what I want it to look like…and I think I’d rather experience a bit of disappointment like playing horseshoes…rather than…not having any idea of what to expect and having to look up with the inquisitive look…that sort of says…”this is it…right?”….

sure expectation is as arbitrary as no expectation…but it is like a road map…it might get you close…and close just might be good enough…I once drove to Washington D.C. without a map…I knew the general direction…knew clearly if I saw signs that read Louisiana…Montana…or Nevada…I was going the wrong direction…so by narrowing the blinders down…I had a pretty good Idea of what to expect without all of the expectation…well it did take a little longer than normal…but I saw some wonderful country….met some great people and found places I never wanted to go to again in my life….

so maybe what I’m really trying to say is having some expectation is normal…but defining and qualifying every second may be a little extreme…not to mention…filled with grave disappointment…

traveling…my father…had a time schedule that was +/- 3-5 minutes….so you had to have it wired up tight to even think a vacation was going to be a relaxing experience…a vacation seemed like a drill…without crawling under the desks or standing outside waiting for the alarm to stop …his rationale was destination far superceded the experience of getting there…he was kind of a…once you a arrive…then it’s party time…sort of guy…yet he never did when he arrived…where as my brother and I rebelled against this attitude and found that as we got older and traveled together…”there”…really meant nothing…it was like retirement…while experiencing…the “getting to there” far outweighed….everything…granted we did end up in some precarious/dangerous situations….but hey …it was those things that made the travels epic…

there was never any expectation of there other than we both knew there was there…but just weren’t sure exactly where there was…other than “that a way”

these days…expectation and there are in a bit bolder type…and I’m not sure if it’s the need to know or the uncertainty of not knowing that really matters…as both of them seem to meet…offering a similar outcome….I think it’s the arbitrary nature of life that has calmed some…now it’s more important to acknowledge the ramifications…weigh them out…verbalize…”I’m not as young as I used to be”…. rather than just realizing that certain things are going to happen…and broken bones…cars with sketchy titles…strange red-headed prostitutes…named Ursula… large amounts of something that clearly doesn’t look right….and helping people unload a trailer in the desert at 3am…is just a-okay….and a part of everyday living…well at least a questionable…part of everyday living…

I have to admit…I’m liking having expectations…gives me opportunity to fill up a calendar with stuff I want and need to do…it creates a schedule and places I need to be at certain times to see certain people…it is giving me some good socialization…and letting me appreciate the time I spend in my studio painting…it has also sharpened my ability to decline things say no more easily…and realize out of the 24 hours in the day…I can do with them what I want…but can’t change what I’ve done with them…so expectation has made my time valuable…

I do know that the here and now…ye old present…is where I reside and that moment is truly the only one that matters…yet having no moment after that is as confusing as having no moment before that……

present expectation: “being, existing, or occurring at this time or now while looking forward or anticipating.”….it’s simple….combine both dictionary definitions and PRESTO!!!!…..and new word combination that has chance and uncertainty yet filled with knowing and little risk…10 times….better chances of winning that giant purple stuffed bear…….

“Life is largely a matter of expectation.” – Horace
“It is said that the present is pregnant with the future.” – Voltaire

 

503. March 16th…Really…who is that face looking back at you??….

Thoughts from the "Tinman"

“Big Nuts” 2011

“I love you, just not how you want me to” – Susan Hyatt

a problem is an easily worked out position…depending of course where you are standing in relationship to the problem…and what you have described the big picture to look like…and as long as the big picture doesn’t blur as the problems move forward…

before my father died almost 20 years ago he and I became friends…..he told  me what it felt like being in a landing craft on a beach assault during WW2 in the Pacific…the sensations…what and how everything felt before the door would drop open…and as he would say…”Things would change faster than a jack rabbit”….and I know his recall of the events were covered…and muted…he lived to be 74…

I found some broken amber-colored car reflectors…on the side of the road…perhaps from an accident…and I’ve been looking at them for the past couple of days…wondering what makes a reflector…well reflect…sure it’s one of those things that shouldn’t require a great deal of thought or time investigating the reason it reflects…but it’s little knowledge that leads to big knowledge…and knowing about something as simple as reflection may not change the world…but what an ice breaker at a party where I don’t really know anyone…

Reflection:  “representation; counterpart”….so I guess the next question is…is a reflection real and accurate…somedays I hope so…other days I don’t…and I guess it also depends on where you’re standing…and what part is reflecting…. to make that choice

love is a reflection….although Tina Turner said…”whats love got to do with it”…while Jim Morrison said “Love me two times”…and yes even though most of us won’t admit we know it…Air Supply said…”I’m all out of love”…so what are each reflecting to whom ever they are reflecting in front of…well seems pretty obvious…Tina’s arms are raised..asking questions…Jim is laying there…saying “c’mon..once more”…and the guys from Air Supply…well you decide….

everything has to reflect accurately or as close as possible…not like a carnival mirror…where you have the big head and the pint size body…I mean would you want to wake up next to that person everyday….or go to that job…5 days a week…I didn’t think so…

I like reflection in those first few moments after waking up…they are as horrifying…as they are mesmerizing…I’ve only known one person who when she woke up she was just as beautiful as when she went to bed…she was from the sweet pea family…while most of us…well let me speak for myself…..look somewhere between mug shot….homeless and been camping for a few days…but without the aid of a mirror…we could actually go outside like that…wondering why we didn’t get the job…or everybody is staring…

so reflection has a much greater value than counterpart…or representation…there is a truth that is undeniable…at what we see when we see ourselves looking back at us…and sure that truth may very well go unnoticed by everyone else on the planet…except when our eyes…meet our eyes…it’s hard to see anything other than what really is…even if what is…is still in the process of becoming what really is…or maybe becoming the illusion….

“I have always preferred the reflection of the life to life itself.” – Francois Truffaut

501. March 7th…Remember the other side of “Complication”….is “Easy”….the 11th Commandment says something about that

Thoughts from the "Tinman"

“Shadows of Love” 2011

“The ideas dictate everything, you have to be true to that or you’re dead.” – David Lynch

the trivial…the trite…and how un-trivial and un-trite they can be…because of the attachment…to the unknown surrounding them…as in hopes via a puff of smoke the important becomes…unimportant….how wonderful…it is…

the word complication comes from the Latin word “complicationem”…”to fold together, weave”….and is often interpreted as a more complex version of something…so if it is the more complex version…then there also is a much easier version of the same thing…and rather than the easier…the more difficult…more elaborate…clearly more time-consuming choice is a viable often chosen option….which becomes more complicated…by offering or doing less…and it might very well be unintentional…but much like the reason for baiting a hook…something will be caught and something will do the catching…

there is a slight debate over who might have said this…”And remember, no matter where you go, there you are.“…one school credits Confucius…while the other says Buckaroo Banzai…I don’t have a preference as each is some part of the other…if you get what I’m saying…so who said it doesn’t really matter…what matters is the statement itself…it’s pretty self-explanatory…right???….yet right up there with the 10 commandments…abundance theory…and the laws of attraction…there still remains an unattainable concept behind this rather simplistic statement….seems the thought of going and perhaps some of the caution of getting there should be part of the statement…so I’ve reworked it slightly to make it work a little better for my gray matter to not only process…but get…”And remember, no matter where you go, there you are…pack light and don’t be a dumb shit getting there“….and I think what resonates most with me about this newly revised statement is along with being there comes a trunk of all of the extra stuff right along with us….that probably wasn’t working when we were over there…or there…maybe even there…so…making certain the load is light…ensures just a few of the not so desirable habits might come along…not all of them….and we can function from a place where the rubber meets the road..sort of…

there should be an 11th commandment for that one…”Thou shalt not bring bad habits to there“….

I have to say I am intrigued at the process of listening to music these days …I owned a record player…then went to a 100 pound combined unit with 8track…am/fm radio and turntable….speakers that hinged to the side….needed a hand truck to move it anywhere….then to separate componants…said words like Marantz….Kenwood… Akai…watts per channel mattered more than Valentines day…then I moved to a smaller more compact system with a great deal more power…only in miniature… now…they are all obsolete…I listen to internet radio…through speakers that I bought at Walmart…that have incredible sound…and I don’t think about all of the gadgets associated with music…I mean a good stereo was really an extension of a man’s penis in the 1970’s and 80’s…and now internet radio has taken the extension and the need for all of the head nodding and name passing around at parties right out of listening to music….it has become much less folded…woven…

there are a few things that are no doubt easier…less complicated…and I know…most of those things have always been easy…I have been the difficult one…you know things like writing a business plan to make the bed…volumes 1 thru 7,934 on how to live life…or worse doing the exact same thing that wasn’t working some where else…and wondering why it wasn’t working here…I think it had to do with the humidity….or maybe it was time…that bastard…anyway…

we can all answer in one syllable words…or with long elaborate answers….ask question that solicit complication…with no real end…just so it stays hot…or ask questions that have answers that finish the question…so we have time for more important stuff….like season 2 episode 28…of Paladin “Incident at Borrasca Bend”……if you want to know where I’ll be…it will be there…at Borrasco Bend….

“Avoid at all costs giving away your knowledge, time and energy to unworthy causes, time and people…If you have to fight with people to accept what you are giving them as an act of love, they are not worthy” – Iyanla Vanzant

499. March 1st… “Life is short, the art long.” Hippocrates ………..Really it is….

Art and my thoughts about being an artist

“My Backyard Mexico” ” 2011

“Abstainer: a weak person who yields to the temptation of denying himself a pleasure.” – Ambrose Bierce

I mean it required a clean white cloth to clean the soul….but somehow something has to get dirty to get something clean…..and it didn’t mater if they wore the clown mask and sang the fun songs…or if it was just a bunch of drunks…beating the shit out the guy dressed like a clown….it was going to be funny to someone somehow”

and so here we sit…

I was sure hoping a famous art gallery owner maybe one who owned a few galleries in New York…L.A. and Miami….was going to get into an automobile accident in front of my house on the…dead end street I live on…and her cell phone wasn’t working…so she’d have to come inside my house to call the police and 911…she’d then see my paintings…and I would be discovered….and everything would be…groovy…

there are obvious realizations that may often remain completely…obstructed and camouflaged  by choice….ease…denial…not wanting to see some level of truth…the “Situation”…and a myriad of other bs…lights that fuse of decision…yet nevertheless…the fuse has been lit…and hopefully…like any good cartoon…it is written on the side of the big round barrel of explosives…”TNT”….and the cartoon explosion will have words in it…”BOOM”….a mass of black smoke….and we get to walk away from it relatively unscathed…but emerge from the fire and smoke covered in soot…a cross shaped banaid on our forehead and our left arm in a sling…of course…smoke coming from our burned yet normally functioning body…and we appear a slight bit bewildered….shortly there after the literal light bulb illuminates above our still smoldering head…and a new and equally…obstructed…explosive plan begins to unfold….but this one’s gonna work….quathi wabbitt….

I came away the other evening…realizing that no matter what I want to paint…there is a natural pulse…a personality I paint from…I firmly believe every painting I have done…am currently working on or will do is nothing more than some version of  a self-portrait and until I somehow change self…if that is my desire…I will continue painting the way I do with a few glitches here and there…even change some things about mind to hand…hand moves brush type thinking…but that happens as it happens to me…and the everyday living stuff…

and do I want to paint like some of the artists I admire…I did…I don’t now…I’ve come to that place that I only want to explore what I’m doing when it comes to paint and building something…and outside of that…there is nothing that important…

a friend of mine made a very big decision about her work…the exploration of her work…and where it was going…her studio space…and overall a reconstruction of the model…it worked out…not exactly as she had thought it was going to…but better…that being said…the results of the actions too will be much better…

it takes a great deal of courage…to tell ourselves the truth about our work…and more often than not we are reluctant by the fragile tenuously balanced ego…there high above us….balancing precariously…between “not even close to stable” and “ready to crash”…worse is knowing and not acknowledging that…the work needs work…

as artists we have chosen a solitary sort of existence when it comes to the process…of making art…what better place to breed this idea of creativity…get together occasionally with those like…us…have a few cocktails…or better micro-brewed beer from Marble brewery…preferablly….”Citra”..and share the mind….the ideas…the stuff that makes it great…..

artists…we are the most fortunate people on the planet…we ARE groovy….

“Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind.” ~Dr. Seuss