Making a small part of your life a Country Western Song in 2 very EASY steps….

From the MInd of the Manic

5.5.02

                                                          “Confessions of a River Dancer” ©2013, Robert Redus

“There probably aren’t a lot of actors my age who tap dance.” – Christopher Walken

there is always that point of recall…you know…that place where we can say it all began…John Anderson…the country western singer said… “It all started at a corner table, sipping on a Jack and Coke, and when the sun found us the next morning, we were acting like married folk” 

so some truth does exist that we might have an inkling of what is yet to come….I mean if you grew up in the 1970’s…went to a bar on a Friday night…chances are what you wanted just very well might have happened….wether it was drugs…trips to Albania in a cargo plane…sex…understanding what “Altered” really meant…or maybe being the best man at your best friend’s wedding just across the border with one of the girls you’d picked up a few hours earlier hitchhiking to Oregon….it…the true “it” was all there…and available for a small price at the time…

I once drove a car with 4 other people 3 of whom I’d met earlier that night…(around 10:30 at a bar in Juarez Mexico we left around midnight)…to LA to drop one of the guys off…we had an ice chest filled with beer some mangoes…a potted plant and 1/2 pound of dope…clearly…we only saw the inkling in small sporadic flashes across the windshield….throughout the entire trip…and to this day…I don’t know if anybody in the car actually…owned the car…when the haze cleared…we were at the point of no return and the guy we were dropping off in LA decided….he want to go to Reno instead….none of us had ever been to Reno…

my point is simple….what lies in front of us more often than not….has been there awhile…we’ve either stepped over it…walked around it…ignored or periodically acknowledged it…as if we are really going to get to it….and soon….and we drag it around like a sleeping bag…looking for a place to sleep…for the night

my father insisted I get a haircut every Wednesday night…and three of his army buddies and I would drive over the Zaragosa bridge into Mexico to get a haircut and a shoe shine for .45 cents….we then would stop at a bakery and eat some Mexican hard rolls with butter…buy a few cartons of cigarettes…and because one of his friends had a torrid love affair with vodka…he’d purchase 4 bottles of Oso Negro…you know the one with the little black bear on the chain around the neck of the bottle….we’d hide the vodka and cigarettes under the seat….every time my father passed through customs…. they’d asked him what we had to declare…he would answer….”Just haircuts and shined shoes”…one could easily look into the car and see all of us with really bad haircuts…and shiny shoes….that’s predictability to an extreme….but every Wednesday….I knew what to expect…and I can pinpoint…..starting day

Maybe almost 57 years old has offered up the why I believe this way lately….and maybe it hasn’t…it could be my mortality…or even that fact that I care more about fiber than at any other point in my life…the knowing what to expect most of my life frankly never really mattered….and now there is this need to find where it all started..sure this could quickly turn into the chicken or the egg dialog and it might never have an answer of any substance…and then again…if I ever find out where it started…might just ruin where it’s going…

I once knew a prostitute…who said she was Carol Channing’s sister “Wendy…now Wendy was from Zacatecas Mexico…originally and yes….she did resemble Carol…until she said anything…and once she spoke…it was clear she shared nothing with Carol other than maybe mitochondrial  eve DNA…even though it was not convincing…someone somewhere is telling…someone somewhere they slept with Carol Channing’s sister…Wendy…now that’s a place to start…kind of like John Anderson…. “it all started at a bar in Mexico, I was sitting with Carol Channing’s sister…Wendy…we negotiated a little..she liked me…I liked her….and before you know it”

So….I’d like you take a few moments…think about where something big started in your life….once you’ve identified the event…what’s it look like leading up to it….how did you want it to work out – VS – how it did work out….what did you want to happen after the event -VS – what really happened after the event…you know….were there blood tests…or paternity tests…did you run away…have to meet a bunch of people…say yes a great deal more than you wanted…or did you just nod your head a whole bunch….in either direction…look up alot…cross your arms or realized how little you cared for all of that stuff you once said was valuable as you were sneaking onto the cargo plane to Albania…now once you’ve been here…established some memorable event….my next challenge is…..

Can you make the  lyrics to a country western song from your event…..

here goes mine…:

It was  New Year’s  Eve, 1973,
El Toro Lounge, Santa Fe and I was
with my new friends from New York State 
 
She was a dark haired beauty, laughing at my newspaper hat
with a picture of Katharine Ross taped
right there on the front
I was rolling a Bugler cigarette thinking about paper clips, why dogs bark so much
when
she handed me a napkin with a key in it and her addressed printed beautifully in red ink
Chorus
she never said her husband was a murderer
she never said he was going to be released so soon
she never said I had to worry  much 
just as long as I was gone by next Tuesday at noon

so it all started….right….the rest of the story later….maybe…

“If I talk about something I either talk about it or I DO it… the minute I talk about it it’s lost all it’s drive and all it’s fun.” – Carol Channing

462.December 30th…End and Begin…Stop…Start…I guess it depends on where you’re standing…

Thoughts from the "Tinman"

“The Deep End” 2009 (Repost)

“Nothing gives rest but the sincere search for truth.” – Blaise Pascal

I’ve had rare opportunity to raise my hands…and ask the question…”What else is left”…

“Ending” defines a great deal more than just the cessation of some movement in some direction…there is defined perhaps the finality of a quest…the last resting place for the journey…a place to stop and say….”this trip is over“…and often never knowing it would come to such an abrupt ending where it can all now be thrown away…and what had tremendous value during the struggle hang like antlers on the wall…the long dead animal….with no life left…no soul…nothing to stir the ashes any longer…

wanting answer…gives way to getting answers…and without that desire… everything is just a musical note hanging in the air…the truths…are all real…all valid and certainly worth what those who call them truth…believe them to be…even if they are not your truths my truths…we all remember things in a way that make them work for us…allow us to put left in front of right and move forward through life…maybe when we die we know all of the truths…and and hopefully have learned the power to forgive the actions…before that day comes…

one of the definitions of …”beginning”… is….”to come into existence“…almost sounds magical in a way…or maybe even like making omelets…late on a Friday night…and drinking chocolate milk right out of the container…but the whole notion of starting stopping…beginning and ending…is what keeps the ball moving..in some direction…for some reason…with hopefully some end result in mind…and like Red Goose Shoes…a golden egg might appear when its all said and done…and in that egg will be absolutely no answers…more clues…more hints as to the new direction…

beginnings if not executed well….have the potential to increase in weight quickly…and we will either fall beneath it or get stronger legs to carry it…I’m not sure which one is really the better approach…as falling releases it in a sense…while carrying might make you stronger but seems so unnecessary…and ruins the sites along the way…maybe beginnings should have a time line we can see before we embark…know full well that to get through Beginning A will take 3.65 years…and if you think harder..act quicker…regret less…and go to Des Moines in January instead of April…it can be accomplished in 2.91 years…you’ll have less gray hair…read more books…less miles on the dogs…and the spouse/significant other will probably be happier as well…yet if we knew the time lines on the really long ones that maybe didn’t end the way we wanted them…to end…we might not have pursued that degree in Tasmanian Horticulture…knowing we would have gone off to do field work and been one of 3 on the planet who developed “Aquagenic urticariathe“…seems we would be questioning the whole fatalism mentality….hmmm…

but what an opportunity to…place something into existence…and know you lit the fuse….and it might be only an 8 second ride or seem like an eternity….but keep your hat on tight and hopefully it’s all “Moving into your hand” and….not “Down in the Well”…

“If you’re thinking you’re a person of some influence, try ordering somebody else’s dog around.” – Unknown