486. February 5th… “Distractions”…live tonight…7pm… Five Dollars buys you all you can carry.

Thoughts from the "Tinman"

“Ten” 2011

“If the facts don’t fit the theory, change the facts.” – Albert Einstein

all of the Jesus photos undulating in the candle light movement…they all continued to stare…the same dead…peaceful gaze….. a pair of black fish net stockings had covered… some of them….they didn’t really care what I was doing….didn’t care if I was saved….or heading that direction…they were reminders….Wendy was only Wendy…I was only me…we were here for the same reason….just on different ends of the rope”…

another day of “hands in the air” living…while my quiet demon sings…”The Power of Lust“…repeatedly in my brain…maybe a new reminder…I don’t know…perhaps something I should pay a little more attention to…

Blaise Pascal wrote…. “All of man’s misfortune comes from one thing, which is not knowing how to sit quietly in a room”…and I agree…I especially like his ideas on diversion and our “Hopeless condition“…I chew them a great deal more than anything else…

distraction is that wonderful pulling force…that thing that may lead to water or not…yet takes us away from where we were…I mediate everyday…and initially…meditation was nothing more than closing my eyes…breathing deeply and basically thinking of everything I’d been thinking about when my eyes were open and I wasn’t breathing deeply…infused with distraction…thoughts that just couldn’t wait…sitting there breathing…trying to expand myself was futile it seemed…I mean what was the point…I could be driving and doing the exact same thing …right?

it was accumulative…like anything that we choose to make a part of ourselves…the more we do it the more it becomes a natural process…something that is part of the ritual…H.I. McDunnough…was really good at petty robbery of convenience store…surely because he practiced…while his distraction was the straight and narrow…raising a family…and a wife who was in law enforcement…he also knew the tools of his trade well enough to avoid the long sentences….

the inability to sit quietly in a room and distraction are like conjoined twins…because distraction is such an enormous force in life…it is difficult to separate the time for quiet and the time for dealing with a file folder of distraction…as we mostly live the distraction…

a nutritionist I know once told me to take one day out of the week and fast…just water…maybe diluted juice….to give my digestive system a vacation…from all of the business at hand…I did that for a few years and found I felt better…my system seemed to like the vacation and all was working well…between digestion and me… and it made sense…to take a break…

I’m finding that it is… “Time” again…for a vacation…from my distractions…it’s time for some new ones…that are a new delicacy…ones with different tastes and flavors…some that look like the bicycle I had when I was a kid….or that are different shades of blue…or smell like freesia…with the footwork of a good Tango…

“It is only at the first encounter that a face makes its full impression on us.” – Arthur Schopenhaur


 

462.December 30th…End and Begin…Stop…Start…I guess it depends on where you’re standing…

Thoughts from the "Tinman"

“The Deep End” 2009 (Repost)

“Nothing gives rest but the sincere search for truth.” – Blaise Pascal

I’ve had rare opportunity to raise my hands…and ask the question…”What else is left”…

“Ending” defines a great deal more than just the cessation of some movement in some direction…there is defined perhaps the finality of a quest…the last resting place for the journey…a place to stop and say….”this trip is over“…and often never knowing it would come to such an abrupt ending where it can all now be thrown away…and what had tremendous value during the struggle hang like antlers on the wall…the long dead animal….with no life left…no soul…nothing to stir the ashes any longer…

wanting answer…gives way to getting answers…and without that desire… everything is just a musical note hanging in the air…the truths…are all real…all valid and certainly worth what those who call them truth…believe them to be…even if they are not your truths my truths…we all remember things in a way that make them work for us…allow us to put left in front of right and move forward through life…maybe when we die we know all of the truths…and and hopefully have learned the power to forgive the actions…before that day comes…

one of the definitions of …”beginning”… is….”to come into existence“…almost sounds magical in a way…or maybe even like making omelets…late on a Friday night…and drinking chocolate milk right out of the container…but the whole notion of starting stopping…beginning and ending…is what keeps the ball moving..in some direction…for some reason…with hopefully some end result in mind…and like Red Goose Shoes…a golden egg might appear when its all said and done…and in that egg will be absolutely no answers…more clues…more hints as to the new direction…

beginnings if not executed well….have the potential to increase in weight quickly…and we will either fall beneath it or get stronger legs to carry it…I’m not sure which one is really the better approach…as falling releases it in a sense…while carrying might make you stronger but seems so unnecessary…and ruins the sites along the way…maybe beginnings should have a time line we can see before we embark…know full well that to get through Beginning A will take 3.65 years…and if you think harder..act quicker…regret less…and go to Des Moines in January instead of April…it can be accomplished in 2.91 years…you’ll have less gray hair…read more books…less miles on the dogs…and the spouse/significant other will probably be happier as well…yet if we knew the time lines on the really long ones that maybe didn’t end the way we wanted them…to end…we might not have pursued that degree in Tasmanian Horticulture…knowing we would have gone off to do field work and been one of 3 on the planet who developed “Aquagenic urticariathe“…seems we would be questioning the whole fatalism mentality….hmmm…

but what an opportunity to…place something into existence…and know you lit the fuse….and it might be only an 8 second ride or seem like an eternity….but keep your hat on tight and hopefully it’s all “Moving into your hand” and….not “Down in the Well”…

“If you’re thinking you’re a person of some influence, try ordering somebody else’s dog around.” – Unknown


 

421. September 28th….On the plains……..

Thoughts from the "Tinman"

“The Plains” 2010

“It is the fight alone that pleases us, not the victory.” – Blaise Pascal

I camped a night away this weekend…saw friends I’d not seen in years and was quenched…….felt a sense of….”Ahhh”…….. that place somewhere between a great meal….and the perfect combination of elements that make a deep dead sleep happen…it was really the drive up…the time I was able to spend with friends and the drive back that made a day away seem like a step into the lawn sprinkler in July….something I needed much more than I realized….

it is the time away that makes the time here so incredible….the shot of inspiration by so many others who are dedicated to their trek…sort of a buzzing of the hive….and being a part of that…noise making is really good…..for me….

I’m finding “easy” takes a great deal of getting there to finally call it that….it’s alot like learning to swim…..it takes determination….but there’s a great deal more to make it work well….

This morning when I awakened…I was hoping when I opened my eyes…it was…high on the plains……and the breeze was in my face……


“Only those who will risk going too far can possibly find out how far one can go.” – T.S. Eliot