518. April 30th…How getting there feels…these days….

Thoughts from the "Tinman"

House for 2011 Albuquirky House Tour: Acrylic, aluminum, dice, domino and found object amber and silver hand

“Wishing to be a cowboy all the while
Yes, I was wishing to be a cowboy all the while” – Willis Alan Ramsey

I always wanted to be them…and that has stuck with me my entire life…I mean I didn’t really want to be them…just like them…and to my surprise…one day I was…each time I think of that I have to smile bigger than normal…those days were a dust devil…filled with great stuff spinning around…going any where…everywhere…nowhere…

I’d have to say…there’s room for good long exhales these days…not sighs…more… there it all is in 360 degrees…right there for the looking…and I am really good with all of that…makes me want to read more…write faster…paint during those sleeping hours…maybe even plant a flower garden this year…those roots I’ve always been reluctant to anchor…kind of have minds of their own…

I’ve heard…there’s really no such thing as normal… it appears to me like normal is one of those cow trails in the desert…a well beaten path to someplace that all of them are going…when I guess getting there could be just as easy next to the trail…or a few feet away…maybe in sight of it…at least it wouldn’t be the same constant scenery…small little differences that might just make the walk back a little more exciting…if exciting is part of the walk back…at all…

when I taught in San Jose and commuted  from the small beach community I lived in…I always thought the drive home was like a National Geographic special…about migration…the automobiles heading north towards the city were exactly like the migration of Wildebeests going where they were going…the perils were exactly the same as well…just disguised as CHIPS…deer and other motorists/wildebeests…the cars that broke down along the side of the road…were the old…weak and sick…drivers who were pulled over by the police were…picked from the safety of the herd…isolated and often left behind…while hitting one of the numerous deer crossing the road at night was the ever perilous river crossing…where as we’ve all seen…the crocodiles lie in wait…and if you are anything like me I start screaming at the wildebeests/television…”Look left you idiot…right there…now’s not the time to be drinking water“…then when they are snatched by a crocodile…I leap from my seat…and always ask the same question…”How did you not see that giant crocodile and not get that your buddies are getting grabbed all around you…how’s that possible?”…I gave names to the people who were pulled over…hit deer…and were broken down on the side of the road….said a little ualogy…and  bid them farewell until perhaps the next life….I know….but driving this drive for a few years…I had to find some way to entertain myself…and to contemplate “Normal”…and through my version of some National Geographic connection…it worked…and well….

being there when I was here has always been like looking for the prize in the box of cereal…I can’t usually wait for the prize to surface on its own…so…I’ve historically bent the box open and rooted around for the prize..amisdt the marshmallow surprise…and flakes of unknown origin…once secured…the prize too historically is hardly worth the effort…and now since I don’t eat cereal with prizes…I’d have to say here is by far much more manageable than…there…I would suggest to the cereal companies though….putting a really nice prize randomly in boxes of….”adult cereal“..just might be a real sales booster…imagine a gift certificate for say a Stihl  041 Farm Boss chain saw…or maybe…some really nice chopsticks and sushi dinner…or a gift certificate to an art store…or $100,000. that you as the recipient have to donate 50% to some charity of your choice…and you get to keep 50…anyway….

Willis Alan Ramsey….helped me a great deal…getting to that place of being just like them…I didn’t realize it until I was listening to him a few weeks ago…and like the olfactory phenomenon of scent…hearing music has the same effect on me…I was propelled to a place in East Texas…going to college…watching some  bands on the back of a flat-bed truck in a field…and the played  the song  Painted Lady …that was really all it took to get the gears moving….the direction somewhat set…Thanks Willis….and as a notable icon in Texas says:

“Onward through the fog” – Oat Willie

414. September 18th…. “Getting it”…might just mean…. “Accepting it…..

Thoughts from the "Tinman"

“The Right Signs” 2010

“It’s not denial. I’m just selective about the reality I accept. ” – Bill Watterson

pouring coffee…..in the dark…full is full when my finger feels the heat….

figuring anything out…..is worth the effort if the results produces more than blisters on your hands…a  vacation to a mental hospital….or an extended stay at any place that has “State of” preceding it….that’s the beauty of getting it….there are as many ways to….as there are ways not to…..it’s just getting to that point that the method becomes as simple as opening your mouth to fill it with crab Louie….while on vacation to the Bay area….yet getting it…or figuring it out requires that the problem if that’s what you want it call it is spelled out in a few different ways so…the ability to truly understand the method of assault is clearly defined…and not some arbitrary swing in…hopes the pinata breaks on the first hit….

everything worth getting is usually designed to “Get” over some period of time…with some level of frequency….and a large degree of repetition….kind of like….love….it may be elusive….while in pursuit of it….yet when we throw our hands in the air and affirm…”I’m done”…..all of that pursuit begins to unravel…and things really do start to happen….and all of the effort sort of holds you there like the 12 and 1/2 minutes of new/old footage in the Exorcist Redux……getting it is also…a balance of perfection….too much one direction…and getting it becomes a pseudo-religious experience….with far more questions than answers….and little if any result…other than a new wardrobe of flowing intricately patterned robes….cool hats and new rather esoteric sounding names…..while too little….balance…..and the experience is a perpetual one night stand with different women…but they are all named Dolores….so the actions remain the same as does the name calling….

I thinking “Getting it”…can often be seen as an enlightening experience…no more stepping on a floor full of tacks any longer….some torch that has guided us from the dark…led by a mystical deep…yet soft and assuring wisdom evoking voice……..when in reality the right medication and usually a 180 degree turn is ample to make the enlightening experience…no more of a leap of faith than stepping off of the curb…..which I like to do….plant my feet together…arch my back and raise my hands high in the air in my best Olympic dismount fashion…..stare at that invisible golden ord there somewhere above the horizon….deep exhale…..wait for the 9.73…9.71…9.88….etc……

“Getting it”…comes in many ways….and whatever works…works…ultimately isn’t that what we all are after….because once we “Get it”…..all of the rest of the stuff…..sort of rolls down hill…..and maybe that’s the energetics behind it all…I mean it’s really easy to be more pissed off when you’re already pissed to begin with….just as it is easier to accept and give goodness…when your life is encompassed by it…..it’s just deciding to do it…..

I like to think of it as we are all giant boxes of cereal….sure I might say I’d rather be a healthy alternative choice, green, organic cereal…with whole grains, so full of nutrition that just looking at it will clean out your colon for the next decade and sweetened with  some exotic sweetener from deep in the forests of Borneo….but I’m not…my box shows a picture of some guy dressed up like a cowboy……wearing big shiny spurs……sheep skin chaps……a ten gallon hat…wearing a t-shirt with our catch phrase “Get it while you can” on the front…….balancing precariously on one foot high on a tightrope….over a pool full of alligators……cereal spilling from a Jethro Boudin  sized cereal bowl in one hand…and a giant wooden spoon in the other….and musical notes are above his head..lips are puckered like he’s whisteling….and there on the box in lapis blue letters outlined in bright red…..it says….

“2 cups of sugar in every spoonful of Getting It Cereal…super high in sugar…but what the hell you think makes it so tasty”……

“Generally speaking, the Way of the warrior is resolute acceptance of death.” – Miyamoto Musashi