565. September 21,

Art and my thoughts about being an artist

"About 2 Feet" ©robert redus 2011

 “We have art in order not to die of the truth.” – Friedrich Nietzsche

I read 7 about art blogs each morning…all of them initially began with some small interesting piece that captured my attention for a brief moment…enough so that I subscribed to them…hopefully thinking that the… “Interesting” was a constant…something I could grab on to and help push the career forward…none have yet to produce that…not the career moving forward sensation…but remaining interesting…

all of them have turned into used car salesmen…wanting me to subscribe to their monthly secrets for real success…the ones that cost only $20.00 per month…and will move me from here to there…transform my art career in as little as thirty days…the secrets that have been recently discovered in some remote cave…near the Dead Sea…you know…the “Real” secrets…their secrets…

and for as much as I can get what they are doing and why they are doing it…there is the same disconnect I have at a movie theater…after spending some time watching a bad movie…I want some revolutionary event to occur…a “Satisfaction booth” partially blocking the exit…where I am asked how I like the movie on a scale of 1-10…and am refunded a percentage of everything less than 10…

now it takes the exact same integrity to offer the booth as it does to use it…as we know every movie to some might be a 3…thus 70% of their money would be refunded…while others would tell the truth…and some movies they get back while others…they give it all away…

I’m bit cynical these days…”former/previous artists” that are trying to help other artists gain success for a price…probably aren’t selling their own work…and the natural course of events is to be a “consultant”…or perhaps a “coach”…which of course means you don’t have to sell any work…or make any work for that matter…

Believability: “to have confidence in the truth, the existence, or the reliability of something, although without absolute proof that one is right in doing so: Only if one believes in something can one act purposefully.”

“Arguments of convenience lack integrity and inevitably trip you up.” – Donald Rumsfeld

504. March 18th… “The future influences the present just as much as the past.”…..

Thoughts from the "Tinman"

“The  Dreams…These Days” 2011

“The world has no room for cowards.” – Robert Louis Stevenson

waiting for “it” to happen is the expectation of the unknown…married to the unlikely…giving birth to the improbable…that being said…having no expectation…nor being attached to the outcome…sounds so luxurious…so spiritually enlightened that there hardly must be any room at the top….for elbows to move freely or breath to even have a faint odor of bad….

I’ve tried all of my life to have no attachment to the outcome…and I say “tried”…as my nature is to define some end…with some result that kind of looks like I want it to….rather than having some void that gets filled with something at the end of it all…and hopefully it’s right up there with what I want it to look like…and I think I’d rather experience a bit of disappointment like playing horseshoes…rather than…not having any idea of what to expect and having to look up with the inquisitive look…that sort of says…”this is it…right?”….

sure expectation is as arbitrary as no expectation…but it is like a road map…it might get you close…and close just might be good enough…I once drove to Washington D.C. without a map…I knew the general direction…knew clearly if I saw signs that read Louisiana…Montana…or Nevada…I was going the wrong direction…so by narrowing the blinders down…I had a pretty good Idea of what to expect without all of the expectation…well it did take a little longer than normal…but I saw some wonderful country….met some great people and found places I never wanted to go to again in my life….

so maybe what I’m really trying to say is having some expectation is normal…but defining and qualifying every second may be a little extreme…not to mention…filled with grave disappointment…

traveling…my father…had a time schedule that was +/- 3-5 minutes….so you had to have it wired up tight to even think a vacation was going to be a relaxing experience…a vacation seemed like a drill…without crawling under the desks or standing outside waiting for the alarm to stop …his rationale was destination far superceded the experience of getting there…he was kind of a…once you a arrive…then it’s party time…sort of guy…yet he never did when he arrived…where as my brother and I rebelled against this attitude and found that as we got older and traveled together…”there”…really meant nothing…it was like retirement…while experiencing…the “getting to there” far outweighed….everything…granted we did end up in some precarious/dangerous situations….but hey …it was those things that made the travels epic…

there was never any expectation of there other than we both knew there was there…but just weren’t sure exactly where there was…other than “that a way”

these days…expectation and there are in a bit bolder type…and I’m not sure if it’s the need to know or the uncertainty of not knowing that really matters…as both of them seem to meet…offering a similar outcome….I think it’s the arbitrary nature of life that has calmed some…now it’s more important to acknowledge the ramifications…weigh them out…verbalize…”I’m not as young as I used to be”…. rather than just realizing that certain things are going to happen…and broken bones…cars with sketchy titles…strange red-headed prostitutes…named Ursula… large amounts of something that clearly doesn’t look right….and helping people unload a trailer in the desert at 3am…is just a-okay….and a part of everyday living…well at least a questionable…part of everyday living…

I have to admit…I’m liking having expectations…gives me opportunity to fill up a calendar with stuff I want and need to do…it creates a schedule and places I need to be at certain times to see certain people…it is giving me some good socialization…and letting me appreciate the time I spend in my studio painting…it has also sharpened my ability to decline things say no more easily…and realize out of the 24 hours in the day…I can do with them what I want…but can’t change what I’ve done with them…so expectation has made my time valuable…

I do know that the here and now…ye old present…is where I reside and that moment is truly the only one that matters…yet having no moment after that is as confusing as having no moment before that……

present expectation: “being, existing, or occurring at this time or now while looking forward or anticipating.”….it’s simple….combine both dictionary definitions and PRESTO!!!!…..and new word combination that has chance and uncertainty yet filled with knowing and little risk…10 times….better chances of winning that giant purple stuffed bear…….

“Life is largely a matter of expectation.” – Horace
“It is said that the present is pregnant with the future.” – Voltaire