460. December 21st… “Mana Sale”….out on Highway 61…2 days only….

Thoughts from the "Tinman", Uncategorized

“My Own Blue Velvet” 2010

“There are many dying children out there whose last wish is to meet me.” – David Hasselhoff

every morning…my cat Elvis and I go through a ritual that I haven’t really known to be a ritual until this morning….

Elvis is a brut of an animal…a gene portion away from his wild predessesors….unpredictable…completely untamable…socially inept and basically a one person cat…and I adore that about him…

Elvis who was originally named Poki…was a born a rogue…an ugly duckling….his eyes were so infected with conjunctivitis the vet warned me  that he may not ever see…my girlfriend laughed at  the straight nub that was a tail…but for some strange reason…I saw all of it differently…each morning I bathed his eyes with warm water and a cloth…put medicine in them until one day they cleared up…he was not blind and could see perfectly…I was elated…as was…he…and so for the first few weeks of life…my face was the first thing he saw every morning as I pried his eyes open…Elvis was determined…he forced his presence on my other cat Traffic…who would sit at the top of the stairs…watch young Elvis…climb laboriously for 30 minutes to the top then with a series of well placed  head strkies…he’d send Elvis back down the steps…to start the process all over again…until the day Elvis developed his…Mana…his cojones…and the household changed…he became the Alpha Cat…and life has pretty much been that way for almost a decade…

Elvis sleeps at the foot of my bed…he wants affection when he wants it…and anything out of his desire is likely to produce a bite or scratch…why put up with that you ask…”It’s just Elvis“….so our ritual is simple…when I sit down in my chair first thing in the morning….he rubs up against both of my legs…his back is arched high…and he is purring loudly…I rub his back until he licks my hand…which basically says…”that was great but stop“…I then pick him up put him over my shoulder for a few rubs…set him on my chest and rub his back again until he again licks my hand….and we are done…

I love Elvis….he is his own cat…doesn’t pretend…if he likes you terrific…if he’s uncertain…about you…he’ll keep his distance…if he doesn’t like you…you’ll know….clearly….

Elvis’ personality

that being said…I like the idea of it all being straightforward…all of the frill…and bs to make it sound like it is something it is not…bothers…me…it’s like the ingredients in hot dogs…”Unknown”…sure everyone’s opinion is different…as are their truths…but deep down we know…or should know our truth…and when we compromise that truth…because we’re lazy…can’t find anything better…give up trying or for any reason that we ignore  our truth…in hopes some alternative to our truth will fill us….we have lost our…Mana…and we have become no one….and will remain no one until….we either change that or accept it….

Mana = “the stuff of which magic is formed,” as well as the substance of which souls are made.”…

no Mana= no magic….no soul….

“Once conform, once do what other people do because they do it, and a lethargy steals over all the finer nerves and faculties of the soul. She becomes all outer show and inward emptiness; dull, callous, and indifferent.” – Virginia Woolf


440. November 20th..I’m thinking like Art Zabari…this morning…

Thoughts from the "Tinman"

“Sinks Redux” 2010

“There are no exceptions to the rule that everybody likes to be an exception to the rule.” – Charles Osgood

some days I wonder about the places I have ended up….all of the interesting little houses…and adventures that went along with each place…

I lived in the heart of Waikiki…for awhile…it was very much like living in Disneyland…everyone is a tourist…and everyone has some smile that indicates their level of tropical fun…I never needed an alarm clock as the Japanese tour busses loaded their tourists every morning below my window…at around 7:15….I’d sit on the balcony drink coffee….and have pictures taken of me by tourists…thinking…what I don’t know…

I lived on the California coast for a few years…in a small town named “Moss Beach”…about 600 people….a coffee house….a Mexican Taqueria…gas station and a well-lit sheriff’s station for the unruly crowds I guess….Moss Beach was the place affected greatly by El Nino that year….I walked outside to find my car safely on the porch…yet my driveway was missing….slid right down the hill…and left a large gaping hole I could not drive past…I had to call my boss and tell him my drive was missing and could not come to work indeinitly…he responded by saying…”I’ve never heard that one before..so I guess you’re telling me you’re resigning”…..no my drive way was just missing and as soon as it was back…I’d be to work….that took almost 3 weeks to repair….in that time…my brain and I decided to learn how to gild (gold foil)….I gilded almost everything in my house…at first it was simple…the objects were obvious…although into week 2 the challenges were rapidly arising….I gilded all of the knobs in my kitchen….the bathroom…the handle on the dryer…the rim of each glass light covering…every chopstick in the house…wine glasses…the edge of the television set…etc….I do think there was much more going on than just an issue with the drive way….

I was once one of those people who if the place felt good…it is very easy for me to just load everything up…without much thought and drive there….thinking it was “The Place”…I’d have gigantic plans….maybe compete with Odwalla…and make lemonade in my kitchen….start a small manufacturing business in the spare bedroom…or incorporate my mother into a sales company from her apartment….make it sound like we’re in a giant glass 12 story building…and every time the phone rings she answers it “Good morning and thank you for calling XYZ sales…how may I direct your call” in between episodes of “Wings”….while she and I would do our nails…waiting for another phone call…I…of course would dress for success…wear a suit and tie…walk from the bathroom dressed and ready….to my desk 8 feet away from the kitchen….you know sort of make that mentality of professionalism work for me…take luch at around 11:00…spend the rest of the day filing through the 751 page business plan I’d written the night before….and move on to bigger and better things….right over there….

going places doesn’t always mean leaving another place…maybe it means looking at something differently to make the trip happen…might be too…that the way we’ve been looking at it might be completely the wrong way….the one way that doesn’t have an exit…since we opted for no doors when we built…that room…and I guess adventure is through the eyes…the feet and hands or the mind….and I was recently asked this question….

Is the experience of doing something better than the memory of the experience?”

I thought that very interesting…as the idea of doing anything does make a memory…and maybe we have a different way of approaching it if we are more driven by creating a memory than having an experience….I think it might be like a photograph…one we can hold in our hands and remember…vs…those pictures in our heads….

“Image is what people perceive my life to be. It’s nothing like the truth.” – David Hasselhoff