I Gotta Testify…..

From the MInd of the Manic

"My Little Gunner"©2013 Robert Redus

“My Little Gunner”©2013 Robert Redus

“You know, lieutenant, you wear your weapon the way other women wear pearls.”

All couples have songs….my sweety and I are no different…we just have a kind of…”Different” song…we sing to one another….Ours happens to be a 1940’s classic by none other than…you bethcha…..Vaughn Monroe…and I’m sharing it…well because I’m sort of testifying…

I’m 57 this year…that is a monumental accomplishment for people who die in their 20’s, 30’s, 40’s and less than 57’s…I mean…I realize getting to a particular age is only an accomplishment if….the process of getting there was like pulling your fingernails out with…rusty pliers…or holding your breath for more than 3 minutes in 66 degree water…but nevertheless…getting to this place in my life has been interesting…I’ll just leave it at that…

What I’ve really learned along the way are some pretty powerful things…and things that sure some of you are going to probably say… “I already knew that, and that one…oh and that one, who doesn’t know that” …and if that is the case…perhaps closing the pie hole…turning on the television and praying for a few reruns of Magnum PI will be better for you than reading this blog……I’ll wait…..

I’ve discovered through these…almost 57 years…2 of the most important things…I have been working with…that’s correct…TWO  and only 2…but I’ll get there in a bit…

So today the world has…lost some  people…gained some people…has seen some good decisions…some bad decisions..seen some stuff that some people have said… “Hell yes”…while others have said…”You’ve got to be kidding, how’d that happen”…some people smiled more than before…while others grimmiced…like never before…some people were cured from diseases…and still others got diseases…for everything that happened today…there are those who thought it was great while others thought it was the worst…people excelled…people declined…peopled walked…people lost the ability to walk…some could see…others could not…some were…born…killed…celebrated birthdays…circumcised…beaten…lost their virginity…ate something new for the first time…fell in love…learned to hate…saw the same…defined differences…were afraid…triumphant…were constipated and had raging diarrhea…and it’s all going to happen exactly the same way tomorrow…and the following day and long past anything you will ever be…that being said…

it makes you want to say:

and the answer is…there is not a thing you or I or anyone can do about this ceespool…call me complacent…cynical…even misguided…but really….whatchu talking about….how you gonna change this…pray… march against everything….pay off your congressman…form a big Sub Chapter S corporation…sponsor a children’s beauty contest…wear argyle socks….there is nothing…nada…zip…that you or I can do about it…so my little pretties…here are the 2 most important things

El primero:

You can always get other people to believe your bullshit…almost all of the time

and Numero dos:

Never, ever believe your own bullshit any of the time

Where we are…well is where we are….we didn’t get here by accident…so if it’s the….second coming…global warming…or all of the pancakes you can eat special at Denny’s on Friday night…get your bullshit out there….get them believing it…and find a special song that means something for God’s sake….something that will get you off your ass and up….Testifying…

oh…and if you can’t figure it out…fall in love with it…..

“If you do not change direction, you may end up where you are heading.”

January 13, 2013. You want to be Miss America…stand in line….How to Develop good PC “ism’s” and Gray is the new Kinky…

From the MInd of the Manic
Negative Space, ©2012 Robert Redus

Negative Space, ©2012 Robert Redus

“Lust’s passion will be served; it demands, it militates, it tyrannizes.”

With all that has happened….killings, shootings, guns, portraits of the Duchess, Miss New York winning the Miss America contest…Tactical Response CEO, James “I’m Back Pedaling” Yeager  and his I’m going to start killing people rant, not to mention the ongoing Lady Gaga, Kelly Osbourne feud…….it is no surprise there is a little caution on the streets of the world…..so how’d we get here…

We got here by millions of….ISM’s…that’s right…add ISM to any word and you now have created “The act, state, or theory of” that word….so this morning I cooked a little Jimmy Dean Sage Sausage…with eggs…called it “Breakfast”….now if I add ism to breakfast…I have created the act and basic fundamentals,  philosophy, life style, cannons, beliefs, doctrines, directions, cans and can nots, do and don’ts, religious beliefs, theories, and all that goes with the structure and fundamental  Right for  “Breakfastism” to be accepted, respected and used as my method of defining who I am and what I believe and more so to EXIST and not be infringed upon…..I’ve also in just a short period of time added “ism” to much of what I’ve done today already and they are:

  • Bathroomism
  • Eliminationism
  • Dental Hygieneism
  • Coffeeism

so I trust you can see where this is going….truly the problem is not exclusively the “ism” idea…it is a combination of ISM Ideology and Freedom….give somebody enough free time, reasonable gray matter, something to write with and on, and don’t scare them or intimidate them, you have the making of a true…..“I can say. do, be, infringe on you because I can say, do, be, infringe on anybody I want at any time I want kind of personality development program”  I guess that could be call “Personalism”…..or better “Meism”….my personal favorite…..“Notyouism” but I believe the vernacular is Narcissism….

So many of us have taken on the philosophy of “Demandism” or the ever popular “Idontcarewhatyouthinkism” and as long as these ism’s are at the forefront of operations, we have a major problem brewing and ready to explode.

Here’s the solution:

  • We all have to wear gray clothes for a year
  • We can own nothing for a year, (except 7 changes of gray clothes)
  • We live in a compound with nothing but a bed, 3 meals a day, a shower and a thousand people just like us
  • We share all of the work
  • We grow more food than we can eat, and give the rest away to the community
  • We exploit our skills, whatever they may be intellectual, medical, tangible, service, whatever…..and always give the end result away once a week
  • Everything we do for 1 years time we donate
  • We teach people what we know who want to learn, for free. We have to teach 3 classes each week for free.
  • We have a tutoring program for children and adults
  • We have dances and parties every second Friday from dusk till dawn, and we teach dance lessons, (hopefully the Merengue and the Samba)
  • We help people start businesses and consult for their businesses.
  • We develop The act, state, or theory of  “Giveism”, “Donatemytimeism”, “Selflessism”

Now before you call me a socialist or a communist….think of the things in your past you condemned before trying….say like certain vegetables,  sexual positions, putting on the Donald Duck mask and the diving flippers wrapping yourself  in Saran Wrap and chasing the little lady around the house with a spray bottle filled with Kama Sutra oil…or not…but my point is “try before you defy”….Nice…Robert….and right off the cuff too….

nevertheless….a year is a short amount of time to realize that maybe what you think now…is A Okay for now…but as I recently discovered….the world ain’t built for people my age….it really revolves around those in their 20’s and 30’s….the rest of us are either in the middle of the herd getting protected from the outside or we’re on the outside…slowing the herd down…

So rant about your freedoms being encroached upon…but ask your what have I done to ensure freedom applies to everyone…it isn’t just living here…or being here it’s back to the gray clothes thing…I know, I know, but you know a study was done with 100 people…each given $100.00, 50 people were instructed to spend it on themselves while the other 50 were told to spend it/give it to someone else. Each group had their happiness measured ….and in the infamous words of Gomer Pyle USMC…..

The group who gave the money away were far happier than those who spent it on themselves……so maybe Miss New York…just might want to think about giving her Miss America title with crown and sash, (no strings attached) to Tactical Response CEO James Yeager…and Mr. Yeager in return might give his time to someone who is exactly the opposite person….he is……

“I have no intention of telling people what I have for breakfast.” – Princess Margaret

(Founder of the Antisharingbreakfastism movement)