February 12th 2013…9:35AM…And I’m questioning why I went to art school….instead of becoming a Daredevil….or Cowboy…or Pearl Diver

Art tuesday

610am

“6:10AM.  Proof, I am a Zombie” ©2012 Robert Redus

“My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them.” 

Music is a wonderful device…Bob Marley said… “One good thing about music, when it hits you, you feel no pain”….I agree with Bob…unless of course the person playing isn’t  a musician at all, but is plucking, strumming, fretting….doing whatever musicians do with the instrument in their hand…yet think they are a musician based on maybe a few lessons…some natural talent…a god given gift…dad saying you play the spoons pretty darn good….or  self-taught. I mean really how do you teach yourself something you don’t know the first thing about but still think you have the ability to teach yourself….are there self-taught biologists…or self-taught astronomer…maybe there are self-taught veternarians…hire a self-taught lawyer or self taught dentist…and watch what happens….now before you say…“Hey wait a minute…don’t you know dentists and lawyers have to go to school”…you should also think of the answer to the question first…and that would be…so does anyone who wants to be better at what they already do. ED U CA TION is the secret to knowing more…learning more…doing more…being more…seeing more…knowing more….having more…

psychologists have shown that expertise takes right at 10 years…that’s 3,650 days….before you have the ability to look at your work and see where you were in relationship to where you began….where you currently are and where you may very well be headed in the future as a professional whatever you might be…and especially those who define “Art” as their profession…regardless of the art you use to define that profession. Read Outliers by Malcolm Gladwell….timing and about 10,000 hours and it just might happen….

is there any reason to wonder why selling art or music or film…in….say Albuquerque is as likely as…Monsanto saying…“you know, you guys are right….were taking all of that GMO stuff off the market….we’ve realized that people are much more important than profits”…..

Every thing is pie…and that pie is divided into as many slices as can be manageably cut…and unlike the  Jesus turning a few GMO salmon and a couple of glasses of 2 Buck Chuck into food and drink for 300…this is the reality of the “art” market in Albuquerque….the pie is sliced so thin…it can’t be pickup…held….eaten…or even run through the digestive tract enough to know it ever even happened…really all that can take place is observation…while the end result will probably not be found where you think it will….juried show or not….

You’re either competing with every group of people with instruments who call themselves a band for a deal at the VFW…or you’re showing your film on the side of a building to an audience  who are made up of 55% homeless…40% of people just passing by while the remaining 5% are your family and girlfriend….or  you’re showing your work in a “Gallery” run by a  couple that just love Albuquerque and moved here from Northern California…..and have….“always wanted to sell art” and your stuff is next to a 7-year-old who paints drink coasters and on the other side of you is a guy  who makes bolo ties from license plates…(Real event….no kidding)

So the 505…Land of Enchantment….Burque….has more artists per capita than most other states…what need be done about that?… you ask….well first we must conjure up an image of Marie Antoinette… and whether she said “Let them eat cake”….or not…is incidental….those who did the deed felt that they were removing the correct head…so to speak…The truth might never save you but they say it sets you free….who ever they are….so that’s where it begins….placating…pacifying art/music/film revues in local magazines are not the truth…self appointment is not the truth..look what happened in Jonestown……uneducated art/music/film critics are not the truth…those are opinions…George W had those…Anything ending in Gallery is not always the truth…Santa Fe is not the truth…notes…words…colors…images are not always the truth…Let them eat cake!!!!

so what ever head you may be thinking about…figuretively….make sure it’s the truth…might be your truth…which just might be untrue….but know…correct head or not….when the head is gone:

I now have this bumper sticker on my truck….I think….it is the truth….but I might be lying….

artwork

I recently ran into a friend of mine who has been a professional photographer for 45 years. he is well-educated, knows his art extremely well and has made a very good living selling his work for his entire career….he said to me…“Digital cameras are great..they give everybody that sense of  what being an artist is like”

“Most of us have only two or three genuinely interesting moments in our lives; the rest is filler.” 

12.31.12…What a difference a day makes….it’s all in the attitude!

Thoughts from the "Tinman"

islands

“Islands”©2012. Robert Redus

“The absence of flaw in beauty is itself a flaw.”

Somehow the year accelerated to today, the 31st of December. I don’t know if the older I get the faster the time goes by or if there is something else that it is happening, I’ve yet to figure out. Nevertheless, it’s going to happen. It reminds me of a bumper sticker I once saw that read:

“Jesus is coming…look busy”

Reflecting back on 2012, it was pretty certain with few exceptions….I don’t want to sound like I wear nothing but brown clothes everyday of the year. Exceptional things only happen if  1.) You decide to make exceptional things a part of your life.  or 2.)You hand the wheel to someone else and end up where they are going, doing what they are doing and hope that 10-50 is not in the equation. My year was exceptional for what exceptional initiatives I put forward . Most of us would rather watch the alligator wrestling than be wrestling with the gator.

I refined my bucket list this year, and after entering a pie eating contest (#3 on the list) in Pietown New Mexico, coming in 15th place, I realized that writing down what I want to do then checking it off  is much like the 2 years…that’s right 2 years we spend sitting at traffic lights throughout our lives…..So no more bucket list….1-100….just sort of adopted the attitude that I should do what inspires me…take this exceptional life and…live it exceptionally….

So with the new year creeping up on us like a new pair of briefs…we have the what am I going to do with myself reflection asking us…”So what are you going to do with yourself”…I suggest you answer…”Absolutely Nothing”….as planning the fiery car wreck in advance, takes all of the suspense and intrigue out of all of the possibilities.

My New Year’s Resolutions are….none, sure I sat at breakfast with Sue this morning thinking about what I want to do, when in reality  I should be resolving not to repeat what I didn’t want to do last year….so yes, my resolution is exactly that….hands in the air, resolving not to repeat any part of last year but the good stuff….and then I have to decide if repetition of the good stuff is really worth the effort.

On another note….my canned answer for 2013 is, “I’m mad as hell and I’m not going to take it anymore, but I’m willing to be proactive”…sort of a combination of rebellious concern with emphasis on solution.

I became 56 this year and of course I reflected on what I’ve forgotten, what I know, what I think I know, what I’d like to learn and what I am hoping to do with all of this knowledge and forgotten knowledge. As I have lived more life than I probably have left to live, what matters really matters a great deal more than ever before, so yes I will demand a diet Dr. Pepper over a Diet Coke, and don’t try for one second to convince me that medium rare and well down are pretty close. So I guess what I am saying is I understand why older people get pissed off and are sometimes difficult to deal with; and it’s not because they are demanding but they want what they want with little exception, we just add the word ‘Old” to the mixture and it gives a reason. Now how wrong is that.We’ve all sat at the table debating on having the waitperson, notice the politically correct format) take the food back because _____________. and in younger years maybe just debated rather than acted. Yet now….I’ll walk it back to the kitchen myself…..no problem….As we all know, 56 is old to some, young to others so maybe it really isn’t age at all…it’s entirely attitude…We should be,  A okay with that,  these are lightbulb moments. we can genuinely say…..”I will” or “I won’t”, then fill in the blank with the stuff we will or won’t do and feel damn good about the end result, even if we decide to change that will or will not at any given time.

My prayer is, Jesus….could you give  a little notice before you arrive, I really want to make sure I’m busy doing what I want to be doing….Thanks…Robert

“A new scientific truth does not triumph by convincing its opponents and making them see the light, but rather because its opponents eventually die, and a new generation grows up that is familiar with it.” – Max Planck 

540. New Recovery Jewelry ©…and all the stuff that makes getting better…so much better….

New Jewelry, Thoughts from the "Tinman"

“Some Tight Times Ahead” ©2011, Robert Redus

“Jesus died for somebody’s sins but not mine.” – Patti Smith

a loosening or unfastening,”…I read it a few times…over…then once more for the very…last time…I was done reminding myself of it any longer…I guess it just needed to be unfolded…snap hard in the wind….let go…released from storage…in a sense…but they were my browns…and lavenders…dog eared pages…pressed leaves in the books I’d never read…probably never was…maybe I’d not made the time to…or summoned up the desire enough…to call it anything than what it really was….just good theater…he’d said…bravo…bravo….clapped hands like wooden blocks in an empty room…everything battened down…cause the big waves were sure to come…as they had the many times before…maybe the moon had a little something to do with it…or sure it was global warming…that’s what it was…or maybe god was just pissed…and there was going to be more on Thursday…than the rest of the days…I guess I didn’t know…and I no longer cared…the streets were those slaughterhouse reds…and the screams had long escaped….fell apart like mist from the garden sprayers…bug drops…bug juice…smeared…dried..on the windshield…but could still see through it…if you moved your head a little….but those were the “Solutions”…the effervesint…realities of living well below the bubbles…….hmm the bubbles…they tickled her nose…when they  popped…made her look deeper into the glass….they’d said…”it was another world in there”…I bought one of those dancing hula girls…for the dashboard of the truck”….from….The Black Eye Project

I used to recover a great deal…after weekend long weekends….and not necessarily always after debauchery…late nights and scantily clad women…working around a brass pole attached to the ceiling…whose names were China…and Cheyenne…sometimes the recovery has been silent….a quiet time to try to figure out why certain things worked and others didn’t…and rather than embrace the working mechanisms of living…somehow…wanting to stay there made time sort of something that felt like a hybrid of…Son of Flubber…slow motion…those dreams where people are chasing me and I’m wearing the oversized concrete shoes…or I’m crawling…and there is a test anxiety dream just waiting outside the door…that seconds before the large talon wielding beast grabs me…will make it’s entry into my world….hallelujah!!

Recovery is a long process…one that if dealt with well consume most of what you used to be and sort of squeezes you through the garden hose…to emerge…shinier…than before…yet hyper aware of the stuff that screams …”Run Away…Run Away”…and sleeping with the light on…becomes less normal…while all of those voices…sort of…take a back seat and let you drive…at least most of the time….except when they’re hungry or misguided

and what ever we recover from…there was a significant trade…maybe you traded many years…perhaps decades ago…while the equability may take place say when your 50 or…60…or a hundred…but again if done well…equity balances the books in some weird way…that will inevitably make sense…

sure we can all say…they did _________to me…and I’m pissed…or can only eat lunch meat on Fridays with a Fanta orange drink…with one of those straws that bend….and in a room that is painted a sea green color…because of it….but…your still at least able to eat lunch meat….or stare out of the window 60 times a day rather than the standard 7,114 times  a day as you did for the last 17 years…while you were eating cereal out of the box….with your lucky rabbits foot tied around your neck and the magic house slippers that you wore that ensured planetary alignment and safety from…swarms of locust…plagues…boils…and round things that your were not really sure exactly what they are…that all worked too…in another weird way…

I think recovery is a lot like love…sometimes when you least expect it…it begins to happen…once it happens…if you choose to do nothing about it…basically nothing further is going to happen…but if you decide to take a few steps towards it…forget about what you think you know…the stuff you’re hooked into and maybe just start thinking about solutions…and what feeling good looks like…smells like…taste like…sounds like…it might work…of course with friends… a lot of talking…some pretty late nights…journals…new age music…documentary films…exotic foods from the Asian market…small containers of stuff you still think is magic…and necklaces….that’s right necklaces like this one….

  
This is me at 3 years old…it really is…My friend Mars and I came up with the idea of making necklaces for people who are on the path of getting better… or working on it…or anything around it…I’ve found by wearing this…I have really become very powerful…might sound a bit scizophernic…but we’re having a great time and when I take my walks in the evening…we both walk…have conversations and work out the stuff…we need to over these oh…48 some years….on the back is the statement… “Don’t ever mess with the kid”…we have called these “Recovery Necklaces”…and if you’d like to order one for yourself or someone else, please go to….Recovery Necklaces

Thanks and as the guy for Motel 6 says…”we’ll keep the light on”

“I’m so fast that last night I turned off the light switch in my hotel room and was in bed before the room was dark.” – Mohammad Ali

486. February 5th… “Distractions”…live tonight…7pm… Five Dollars buys you all you can carry.

Thoughts from the "Tinman"

“Ten” 2011

“If the facts don’t fit the theory, change the facts.” – Albert Einstein

all of the Jesus photos undulating in the candle light movement…they all continued to stare…the same dead…peaceful gaze….. a pair of black fish net stockings had covered… some of them….they didn’t really care what I was doing….didn’t care if I was saved….or heading that direction…they were reminders….Wendy was only Wendy…I was only me…we were here for the same reason….just on different ends of the rope”…

another day of “hands in the air” living…while my quiet demon sings…”The Power of Lust“…repeatedly in my brain…maybe a new reminder…I don’t know…perhaps something I should pay a little more attention to…

Blaise Pascal wrote…. “All of man’s misfortune comes from one thing, which is not knowing how to sit quietly in a room”…and I agree…I especially like his ideas on diversion and our “Hopeless condition“…I chew them a great deal more than anything else…

distraction is that wonderful pulling force…that thing that may lead to water or not…yet takes us away from where we were…I mediate everyday…and initially…meditation was nothing more than closing my eyes…breathing deeply and basically thinking of everything I’d been thinking about when my eyes were open and I wasn’t breathing deeply…infused with distraction…thoughts that just couldn’t wait…sitting there breathing…trying to expand myself was futile it seemed…I mean what was the point…I could be driving and doing the exact same thing …right?

it was accumulative…like anything that we choose to make a part of ourselves…the more we do it the more it becomes a natural process…something that is part of the ritual…H.I. McDunnough…was really good at petty robbery of convenience store…surely because he practiced…while his distraction was the straight and narrow…raising a family…and a wife who was in law enforcement…he also knew the tools of his trade well enough to avoid the long sentences….

the inability to sit quietly in a room and distraction are like conjoined twins…because distraction is such an enormous force in life…it is difficult to separate the time for quiet and the time for dealing with a file folder of distraction…as we mostly live the distraction…

a nutritionist I know once told me to take one day out of the week and fast…just water…maybe diluted juice….to give my digestive system a vacation…from all of the business at hand…I did that for a few years and found I felt better…my system seemed to like the vacation and all was working well…between digestion and me… and it made sense…to take a break…

I’m finding that it is… “Time” again…for a vacation…from my distractions…it’s time for some new ones…that are a new delicacy…ones with different tastes and flavors…some that look like the bicycle I had when I was a kid….or that are different shades of blue…or smell like freesia…with the footwork of a good Tango…

“It is only at the first encounter that a face makes its full impression on us.” – Arthur Schopenhaur


 

438. November 16th…Multi-Dimensional thinking…maybe….

Thoughts from the "Tinman"

“Someday, Looking West” 2010

“Men become civilized, not in proportion to their willingness to believe, but in proportion to their readiness to doubt.” – Ambrose Bierce

I heard Kinky Friedman for the first time in the early 1970’s…he was the lead for a band named…Kinky Friedman and the Texas Jew Boys….they were an elaborate band of very Jewish cowboys…that took the western wear ensemble far over the top…sheep skin chaps…loud checkered shirts….enormous 1920’s cowboy hats and boots that were so colorful they were blinding…my all time two favorite songs by the band were…”They’re not making Jews like Jesus anymore”…and….”The Ballad of Charles Joseph Whitman”….both songs that seemed to say a great deal about a great deal….Kinky Friedman had a run for governor of Texas…yet his history probably had something to do with his failure at that attempt….after all….he isn’t Ronald Reagan or the Governator….and Texas isn’t California…

I guess there are a lot of things that are not a lot of things and how that affects the possibilities of each of those things….seems pretty amazing to me…so I began thinking of fate and destiny…and the predetermination of life…then I thought of complete self direction…total disregard to any beacon of familiarity or conformity….then the blend of both….perhaps taking what is best from both worlds to find some of the answers…to make it all seem cohesive and workable…then I asked…”can I do that?”….I mean are the philosophical police going to be kicking down my door in some….multiple manner just to show the diversity of belief….to sit me under the light and question my rationale and the…”Why” I am not conforming  exclusively to the rule books of Existentialism…Fatalism…Humanism….and the like….is there a bylaw I perhaps missed or read over….and if indeed there is….what happens next….am I kicked out of the Existentialist talk group on Saturday…at whatever time I decide to show…up…

it really got me thinking….why can’t anyone blend anything they want to make it work for them….make up your own story that lets you sleep safely at night…and walk everyday with happiness and joy in your life knowing you’ve decided that God… Shiva…Betty Davis and Pedi the dog from the Little Rascals…are ruling the world…and Karma is strongest on Thursdays…and there is no Karma on every third Saturday….and that your heaven does exists…and it’s an all you can eat buffet where you never get full…and the desert bar is bigger than a K-Mart….and there is a hell….and it’s a roommate that moves in for a little while until you get it back on track…and start telling yourself the truth….and then they leave….for someone elses house…(that just might be that guys heaven…is to travel)…and so you’ve decide your dogma and doctrine for the month is this scenario…and maybe next moth you want to include pizza…and topless dancers….well you can do that…and the only rule is you have to write down the new rules…scratch out the old ones…and maybe throw some dirt in 4 directions….eat a few cocktail olives…say hello to 6 people you’ve never met…think about adopting a pet from the local humane shelter….and nail a small nail into a piece of wood…and when you wake up the next day…..that new stuff….is real….

and you can change it anytime you want…

“No simplicity of mind, no obscurity of station, can escape the universal duty of questioning all that we believe.” William Kingdon Clifford