575. November 5th…Perceive me…Deceive me…Believe me…Aunt Jemima….

Thoughts from the "Tinman"
“The Night Life Aint no Good Life” ©2011 Robert Redus

“All deception in the course of life is indeed nothing else but a lie reduced to practice, and falsehood passing from words into things.”- Robert Southey

Francisco Goya was a “Romantic Painter”…his ability to use light as an integral tool to convey feeling and emotion on already highly charged emotional subjects…situations and paintings…was no less than brilliant…his painting.. “The Bewitched” is a great example of the light accentuating the already pretty creepy scene….A priest pours oil into a lamp…held by the devil…while donkeys standing on their hind legs representing demons fill the background…the priest has his hand over his mouth…his eyes clearly represent terror…the painting is the metaphor…

I am intrigued by good guys…especially…who know they’re good guys…Rex O’Herlihan (The Singing Cowboy)…was truly a good guy…to the level…in a gunfight…he could only shoot people in the hand…because as we all know only good guys are supposed to do that…anything else sort of borders on that gray area…between good and not so good…the point is he knows he’s a good guy and knows that beyond a shadow of a doubt…

not everyone knows what they are…yet they think they are something they are not even close to….they just don’t know it or maybe don’t want to know it…that’s where the whole perception thing comes into play…Perception comes from the Latin word… “perceptin” which literally means… “A taking in”…so I think that too is the beginning of the problem of perceiving/deceiving oneself of being say an honorable person…throw in “Justify” and a dash of “Denial” and the perfect recipe for a lifetime of “What” followed by an enormous amount of question marks…begins to exist…

now the assignment for all of us should be to be like Goya…paint a painting of our metaphor…or like William S. Burroughs…write a story of the real stuff and the really unreal stuff we decided one day to incorporate into our life inventory…and own it like say…an assault on a small peaceful tribe of people…who really need religion or money…and we know they do because after all it helped us out…right…

egocentricity….come on let’s talk all about you…as long as it’s all about me…right?…because after all…what you think…do…say…like and love…act on…believe…aspire too…care about…want…crave…need and believe…they don’t mean shit…in the right hands… so maybe today…paint your metaphor mural on the side of a Tuff Shed or a Big Metal building…and sign it “ME”

Oscar Wilde said it perfectly…

“True friends stab you in the front”

443. November 23rd…somedays the Sidekick…other days the Superhero…..

Thoughts from the "Tinman"

“Blades” 2010

“I sometimes think that God in creating man somewhat overestimated his ability.”  Oscar Wilde

I’ve often wondered….what would be perfect…how would perfect look…and then I catch myself and say…”Is there a perfect”….debate about the close to perfect…almost perfect…how many steps away from perfect…and before I realize it…I am thinking about the things that make perfect imperfect…sort of dwelling on the rind of perfect…not the fruit part….

I think it could be wirering…and as difficult as it is to re-wire….it is very possible if the manual’s clear….the time available and all is right in heaven so to speak….and maybe the color coded wires are nice and bright…fun to hold…twist and bend….but very doable….

sort of like being a super hero…how do you even get to that place that now you are___________________….not to mention the whole outfit…and sidekick ordeal…imagine interviewing some really eccentric people for a job that requires they wear really loud colorful clothes that are typically pretty tight…and have to play second chair to you…and what happens to the ones you don’t hire…do you have to kill them so they can’t reveal your true identity….I guess the superhero defining moment is somewhat of an epiphany….moment…maybe like being struck by lightening….or a near death experience…but what ever causes the transformation…a type of re-wiring has occured…one moment you’re a pretty normal neighborhood guy mowing a lawn on Saturday…and with the flash of some secret sign…transformation into a justice enforcer takes place…super powers and a really muscular abdomen…not to mention you’re going to be dating some girl who is either…oblivious to the new you…and is secretly in love with this new you but is dating the real you and torn in conflict as to what to do regarding her superhero crush….or she wears a similar outfit…walks up the sides of buildings…speaks in short sentences….and keeps your stuff a secret…so you can’t really afford to piss her off…and that’s about wiring too…

what about the whole mentality of being….the superhero sidekick…maybe there is some level of epiphany…the striking lightening…same…sort of a more religious experience…and maybe that’s a okay…it might be an evolutionary issue…rather than an issue dealing with esteem…there are perfect sidekicks in this world…perhaps the role of sidekick plays a greater role than superhero…I mean whose going to drive the Wombatmobile…and be a little shorter…probably wear a colored outfit that is less complemntary…and lack the over muscle tone…who’s going to look inquisitively at the superhero…sort of keep him in place…when the going gets really complicated…and if there were no sidekick…certain equtrements could not exist that are normally specifically designed for this particular superhero and sidekick…you know like phones and shoes…and hats that maybe look like badgers…or some obscure marsupial…and especially logos that look like switches and buttons that the sidekick flip and turn to open the  entrance to the shrew labrynth….you know stuff like that….

so maybe “perfect” is a state of mind….the perfect day just might be sitting next to Tamale Man…in your Taco outfit….screaming down some desolate desert highway in the El Rancho Mobile….talking on the Margarita phone….tuning in the coordinantes…on the satellite upload  that looks like a basket of chips and salsa….heading straight for a serious ass whipping on the bad guys…..

and life is perfect…really perfect in every way….

“All of us failed to match our dreams of perfection. So I rate us on the basis of our splendid failure to do the impossible.” – William Faulkner

 

437. November 15th…Good thinking can make anything out of…anything else….

Thoughts from the "Tinman"

“Dia De Los Muertos 2010”

“There is something terribly morbid in the modern sympathy with pain. One should sympathise with the colour, the beauty, the joy of life. The less said about life’s sores the better.” – Oscar Wilde

nothing more…nothing less….sounds pretty nice as it rolls out of my mouth…tongue pressed against the back of my teeth…spitting the phrase right on out there…maybe saying it in a way that says more than the actual words themselves….like a plot to a movie or words to a song I’ve heard a thousand times yet can’t sing…even if my life…depended on it…

I’ve finally become more accustom to the sounds of a new house…the creaks and bumps that are unique to each home…the same ones that kept me awake the first week I was sleeping here…wondering if I was hearing footsteps…ghosts…or just the house settling in for the night….I’m now able to walk in total darkness…navigating my way around with little memory of my old house…except those first few moments out of bed….I still want to walk around my bed into the wall rather than get out of bed…immediately turn right and into the bathroom…just a minor glitch that will be worked out in no time…I guess that’s the part of a new house that’s the fine tuning…

this move was a very significant move…it was either…down the road…or so far down the road….”country” might have had different initials….on the letters to and from the family…this move though…was perfect…perhaps a bit more away and isolated…maybe a little further removed…but well worth it….

sometimes it’s those small attempts that make the larger ones fit like a great pair of shoes….or how hands that mesh well…mesh…I’ve been thinking of the things I’d like to do…and the difference of thinking about them and doing them….and suprisingly that difference is not really that great…I know doing requires thinking before it all falls into place….and often over thinking can make the idea far more precarious and sketchy than need be…the right amount of thinking is like the right amount of gin in a martini…

all of it makes sense…and the notion that it is available to anyone is probably not accurate…I think we have had to experienced a little bit of life to make the choices that don’t sound desperate…or make us feel like we are just picking the best of the worst…and can live with it…that takes the time…and the litany of bad friends…relationships…jobs….situations and gambles that clearly define the word “NO”…as a word with a bit more authority than when we were….say 2o…maybe thirty…even 40…sometimes 50….who knows….and something about the past making the future…more clear..almost smells….of parochiol school hallways and things that seemed a little to unreal to…digest…

every Wednesday during my first attempt at college in 1974….the cafeteria served…chicken fried steak…each Thursday…they served the left over steak from the day before…swimming in a pool of brown gelatinous gravy and called it “Salisbury  Steak”….that’s….the right amount of thinking