7.1.13…The lasting effects and knowledge of June….2013

First Day of the Month, Last Day of the Month

cause I dont worry

“Cause I Don’t Worry” ©2013, Robert Redus

“I’m not out to convince anybody of anything.”

I’ve not revisited the “First of the Month”…honestly in a few months maybe even….well…over a year…in order for the first of the month to have some value…there must be a connection to the end of the previous month…don’t ask me why…but it just seems a sort of…”foot bone’s connected to the ankle bone”…sort of progression… I have to say in all honesty…I prefer writing about what I learned in the month just finished rather than…what I think I’m going to learn in the month…ahead…seems so cryptic…

well here is the…where I’ve been…in other words the gripping thoughts and the skinny for June 2013…the month that has led me to this morning of writing about…my expectations if you will…for July…

10 Things I learned in June:

  1. There are a lot of people who buy a lot of pretty pointless…stuff…
  2. Bee stings are much different from what I expected…
  3. There is always something that has to happen before that something that really matters happens…
  4. I’m completely and utterly done with thinking that #3 is true and has to occur…
  5. Writing is much more liberating than I remember…
  6. Israeli food is the same as Middle Eastern food..so I understand the conflict even less…
  7. At art shows…people generally ask the same…4 questions…and tell me the same…3 storie… about themselves…
  8. Success for me is finding someone who is equally as excited about selling my stuff as I am excited about making it…
  9. At 56 I don’t need/want excuses…
  10. Sometimes it is just easier to nod than to say anything….maybe utter a couple of “hmm’s” …but remain for the most part…quiet

So there you have it…June in a nutshell!

July is going to have to wait….I have 30 more days to see what transpires…

see you then…

“If you start by promising what you don’t even have yet, you’ll lose your desire  to work towards getting it.”

571. October 20….The answer is not…”I don’t know”….

Thoughts from the "Tinman"

"The Visitation" ©2011 Robert Redus

“When small men attempt great enterprises, they always end by reducing them to the level of their mediocrity.” – Napoleon Bonaparte

I believe I have finally gotten it…there has always been some place that I have held onto my subversive attitude…and held it in check….and I think that subversion has been a slow boiling process….much like boiling a frog gradually in water…before you know it…it’s edible and has transformed into something other than a frog…but still a frog…yet tasty…

There are some people who are designed to be thorns and others who are not…the thorns I think are generally that way as a result of what was and no longer is…there is a track record that need be established so no longer can the pimple faced kid with the buck teeth and greasy hair be pushed around by anybody…not nooooooobody …even though the complexion has cleared the veneers are in place and modern technology…phosphates and a few well placed salts have eliminated the greasy hair problem…yet stature can never be changed…even if you are not small in size you can still remain a speck on the ass of that boiling frog….

It turns into do what we want…but really like Oz…most of the time it is from behind the curtain…gasps of smoke…green blinking lights…a host pyrotechnics that do the convincing…or frightening…and it all remains so seemingly real and accurate until the back of the hospital gown keeps letting the cold draft in or the rapid thoughts of “hmmm…what next”…as you are exiting the vehicle through the windshield at approx. 74 mph….and then just maybe…it’s “wait a minute” …time…out comes the paper and pen…checklist of important places…people events…and things to check…off…or continue the deception…for another few years…stay behind the drape….

there appears only one viable question to answer….

What are you waiting for?….

I ask myself that everyday…and since the daily interrogation…the “What” has certainly emerged…yet the discovery of how the collision takes place is really the much more interesting part of “What”…because without the discovery…the collision can not take place…it just doesn’t exist…it is very much a one sided equation….a butterfly net waiting for butterflies …can’t walk around the planet like that for too long…well…yes you can…

Dorthea Lange said:

”Pick a theme and work it to exhaustion… the subject must be something you truly love or truly hate.”

546. July 11…we have about 500 million breaths in a lifetime…I’m making sure it’s… “In goes the good air…out goes the bad”…

Thoughts from the "Tinman"

“Another Man’s Poison” ©2011, Robert Redus

“Waiting is painful. Forgetting is painful. But not knowing which to do is the worse kind of suffering.” – Paulo Coelho

There is always a first time…that is what I have forgotten…some days…and is something I have been in the habit of reminding myself of when I look for what could be the first time for something new…even though I have experienced something similar…

I painted 3 small paintings in T or C yesterday after a walk and some picture taking early in the morning…those three paintings were born of sorts… “there”…not any place else and everything around me…all that had influenced me right then…right there…was what made those paintings become what they did…their birth certificates read…”Truth or Consequences, New Mexico, 7/10/11…and that was the very first time for those paintings…that can never be different than what it is…

     

Perhaps… “Firsts”…are like the number of breaths in a lifetime…definable…but in a weird way…the average respiratory rate reported in a healthy adult at rest is usually 12 breaths per minute…that’s about 504,576,000 breaths….if you live to 80 years old….thinking of it this way makes the number of possible …“Firsts”…in a lifetime….a huge event…or huge events…depending on the choice of one a or a few hundred thousand… “firsts”…

Everything too…either does…or does not….I guess knowing that…I question the reasoning for the constant desire to experience the same things…when knowing that if it does not…stop…and if it does…continue until it either 1. stops doing  or 2. it still is doing but you don’t want to do it anymore…I’m certain it is consistency and familiarity that has a great deal to do with the repetition of a process…

yet what I’m hearing is just the opposite from those who have lived lives of consistency and are now staring at some obstacle there directly in front of them…that is now preaching a different method for an outcome that just might be that “Answer” they’d been looking for over the entirety of their life…and reflection has been the tool that illustrates the flaw to where they have been…not where they are going…and now the breaths are getting shorter in amount and time is becoming more valuable…the actions are more calculated…and deliberate…and what really matters is doing what really matters…

so I guess what matters is if what each of us is doing is what fills us each day then… halleluiah…but if it only fills it up part ways….it might be time to try something again for the….first time….

531. May 30…”It is better to travel well than to arrive.” – Buddha

Thoughts from the "Tinman"

“The Giant Pancake of Death” 2011

“The way positive reinforcement is carried out is more important than the amount.” – B.F. Skinner

I can’t say I ever wanted it any different than it was…and maybe the wishes were just a way of moving on the game board…kept me there but let me feel what over there was like…and some days I was the shoe..with no foot…others the dog…that couldn’t bark…I thought it all…over it tumbled in my mind…trying to settle on one single drop of water…and one crumb didn’t taste any different than another…and the big stuff….were just a bunch of little crumbs…together…maybe more a single cloud in the fall sky…moving it there…from there…on those waterbone days…the ones she still dreamed about..where the shadows stayed the same…the light crisp early in the morning…and they towered like sentinals…there against the sandstone and gray colored  cliffs….

as a child…when we traveled…it was non-stop from point A to point B…bypassing every scenic site…along the way…typically in the west…at that time…roadside attractions…enticed the curious traveler with giant luring billboards…”The Thing, only 300 miles“…and about every 5 miles was another billboard…”Don’t miss ‘The Thing’, see a real live Indian village, cactus candy”…the traveler was hooked by each sign with a bit more information…and then another 5 miles…”The Thing, PREHISTORIC! never before seen by human eyes, Black Mambas, Indian jewelry”….I would sit patiently…waiting for the next sign…and when I was able to read… and didn’t have to have my brother tell me what each sign said…I was all powerful…often though they would start spreading the signs out…15 to 20 miles…the anticipation would kill me…I’d look for downed billboards…and then there in front of me…another one…”The Thing, oldest known human, see Indians making moccassins, real ‘war drums and tomehawks’, beef jerky, cherry cider, don’t miss the ‘Thing“…I would often not say I needed to go to the bathroom until we were close enough to the roadside attraction so we’d have to stop…there…I could see myself…walking back to the car…a real Indian headdress…a bag full of fool’s gold…some cactus candy….and the “Thing”…burned into my memory…and maybe my mother would have fainted…because the “Thing” was so gruesome…and my father in his checkered shirt…khaki pants….and green lensed sun glasses…would be carrying a box of gallon jugs filled with cherry cider…and Kenneth…held a giant bag of  real “Buffalo” Beef jerky…and we were set….

it rarely ever happened that way…but I did see…”The Thing”…

now a days when I travel…I will stop at every place I want to stop…if I feel the need to read each historic marker from New Mexico to Maine…I’ve not made a timeline that requires anything other than start when I do…stop when I do…I like to drive about 4-5 hours…check into a hotel that …A). has a swimming pool…B). HBO….C). A restaurant at the hotel…D). a really cool ice machine and E). Has that hotel smell….if anyone of those are not there….I just can’t stay there…because traveling is well….about traveling…and I like the in-house restaurant to have scenic placemats…of places like…”Picturesque Wyoming”….or “Points of Interest in and around Bisbee”…or a brief history of the place I’m sitting in…and the waitress…was born and raised right there in Uvalde Texas…or I like to hear how everybody on the restaurant staff ended up right there…in say…Lander Nevada…and I especially like when the in-house restaurant is the place where all of the locals eat breakfast…it makes me kind of feel like them without all of the gossip…and nothing to do on Saturday night…

I’ve noticed I generally practice the accent of the area when I’m traveling…don’t want to stand out you know…so I’ll say things when asked where I’m from…like “down south of here“…so if they have any really creepy plans…they might just think I have relatives that lives close by…and sure maybe I’m 700 miles south of here in a completely different state…but who really needs to know that…my license plate will give me away…anyway…I think it important to blend in a little better than not…you just never know what might happen…I could fall in love with the waitress and end up living right there…and it would be terrible to think that I said something that just might haunt me for a few years…not to mention the bad impression…

I think I like short trips better than long ones…these days…not that a long trip doesn’t keep me awake all night long…because the anticipation is unreal…but short trips…have less driving…more seeing and opportunities for photos…mid-day cocktails…maybe even running into someone I know…or someone that knows someone I know….and something about being in a car for 17 hours that just sharpens the edge a little to much for me…because 17 hours for me is between 3-4 days of driving…based on 4-5 hours a day of driving…short trips…are like going to a surprise party….for me…before I can get fidgity…I’m there…and it’s still light…and it’s all happening right there in front of me…

here is some of this weekend….

and the “Giant Pancake of Death”…it’s at the Ridgeback Restaurant…at the turn to Fenton Lake….they have the best Huevos Rancheros I’ve ever eaten….and yes I did eat the “Giant Pancake of Death”….with sugar free syrup…and I’d do it again…oh and ask for “Jen”

safe and above all happy travels….

thank you Damien and Jennifer for a wonderful weekend….

“It is better to travel well than to arrive.” – Buddha

504. March 18th… “The future influences the present just as much as the past.”…..

Thoughts from the "Tinman"

“The  Dreams…These Days” 2011

“The world has no room for cowards.” – Robert Louis Stevenson

waiting for “it” to happen is the expectation of the unknown…married to the unlikely…giving birth to the improbable…that being said…having no expectation…nor being attached to the outcome…sounds so luxurious…so spiritually enlightened that there hardly must be any room at the top….for elbows to move freely or breath to even have a faint odor of bad….

I’ve tried all of my life to have no attachment to the outcome…and I say “tried”…as my nature is to define some end…with some result that kind of looks like I want it to….rather than having some void that gets filled with something at the end of it all…and hopefully it’s right up there with what I want it to look like…and I think I’d rather experience a bit of disappointment like playing horseshoes…rather than…not having any idea of what to expect and having to look up with the inquisitive look…that sort of says…”this is it…right?”….

sure expectation is as arbitrary as no expectation…but it is like a road map…it might get you close…and close just might be good enough…I once drove to Washington D.C. without a map…I knew the general direction…knew clearly if I saw signs that read Louisiana…Montana…or Nevada…I was going the wrong direction…so by narrowing the blinders down…I had a pretty good Idea of what to expect without all of the expectation…well it did take a little longer than normal…but I saw some wonderful country….met some great people and found places I never wanted to go to again in my life….

so maybe what I’m really trying to say is having some expectation is normal…but defining and qualifying every second may be a little extreme…not to mention…filled with grave disappointment…

traveling…my father…had a time schedule that was +/- 3-5 minutes….so you had to have it wired up tight to even think a vacation was going to be a relaxing experience…a vacation seemed like a drill…without crawling under the desks or standing outside waiting for the alarm to stop …his rationale was destination far superceded the experience of getting there…he was kind of a…once you a arrive…then it’s party time…sort of guy…yet he never did when he arrived…where as my brother and I rebelled against this attitude and found that as we got older and traveled together…”there”…really meant nothing…it was like retirement…while experiencing…the “getting to there” far outweighed….everything…granted we did end up in some precarious/dangerous situations….but hey …it was those things that made the travels epic…

there was never any expectation of there other than we both knew there was there…but just weren’t sure exactly where there was…other than “that a way”

these days…expectation and there are in a bit bolder type…and I’m not sure if it’s the need to know or the uncertainty of not knowing that really matters…as both of them seem to meet…offering a similar outcome….I think it’s the arbitrary nature of life that has calmed some…now it’s more important to acknowledge the ramifications…weigh them out…verbalize…”I’m not as young as I used to be”…. rather than just realizing that certain things are going to happen…and broken bones…cars with sketchy titles…strange red-headed prostitutes…named Ursula… large amounts of something that clearly doesn’t look right….and helping people unload a trailer in the desert at 3am…is just a-okay….and a part of everyday living…well at least a questionable…part of everyday living…

I have to admit…I’m liking having expectations…gives me opportunity to fill up a calendar with stuff I want and need to do…it creates a schedule and places I need to be at certain times to see certain people…it is giving me some good socialization…and letting me appreciate the time I spend in my studio painting…it has also sharpened my ability to decline things say no more easily…and realize out of the 24 hours in the day…I can do with them what I want…but can’t change what I’ve done with them…so expectation has made my time valuable…

I do know that the here and now…ye old present…is where I reside and that moment is truly the only one that matters…yet having no moment after that is as confusing as having no moment before that……

present expectation: “being, existing, or occurring at this time or now while looking forward or anticipating.”….it’s simple….combine both dictionary definitions and PRESTO!!!!…..and new word combination that has chance and uncertainty yet filled with knowing and little risk…10 times….better chances of winning that giant purple stuffed bear…….

“Life is largely a matter of expectation.” – Horace
“It is said that the present is pregnant with the future.” – Voltaire

 

440. November 20th..I’m thinking like Art Zabari…this morning…

Thoughts from the "Tinman"

“Sinks Redux” 2010

“There are no exceptions to the rule that everybody likes to be an exception to the rule.” – Charles Osgood

some days I wonder about the places I have ended up….all of the interesting little houses…and adventures that went along with each place…

I lived in the heart of Waikiki…for awhile…it was very much like living in Disneyland…everyone is a tourist…and everyone has some smile that indicates their level of tropical fun…I never needed an alarm clock as the Japanese tour busses loaded their tourists every morning below my window…at around 7:15….I’d sit on the balcony drink coffee….and have pictures taken of me by tourists…thinking…what I don’t know…

I lived on the California coast for a few years…in a small town named “Moss Beach”…about 600 people….a coffee house….a Mexican Taqueria…gas station and a well-lit sheriff’s station for the unruly crowds I guess….Moss Beach was the place affected greatly by El Nino that year….I walked outside to find my car safely on the porch…yet my driveway was missing….slid right down the hill…and left a large gaping hole I could not drive past…I had to call my boss and tell him my drive was missing and could not come to work indeinitly…he responded by saying…”I’ve never heard that one before..so I guess you’re telling me you’re resigning”…..no my drive way was just missing and as soon as it was back…I’d be to work….that took almost 3 weeks to repair….in that time…my brain and I decided to learn how to gild (gold foil)….I gilded almost everything in my house…at first it was simple…the objects were obvious…although into week 2 the challenges were rapidly arising….I gilded all of the knobs in my kitchen….the bathroom…the handle on the dryer…the rim of each glass light covering…every chopstick in the house…wine glasses…the edge of the television set…etc….I do think there was much more going on than just an issue with the drive way….

I was once one of those people who if the place felt good…it is very easy for me to just load everything up…without much thought and drive there….thinking it was “The Place”…I’d have gigantic plans….maybe compete with Odwalla…and make lemonade in my kitchen….start a small manufacturing business in the spare bedroom…or incorporate my mother into a sales company from her apartment….make it sound like we’re in a giant glass 12 story building…and every time the phone rings she answers it “Good morning and thank you for calling XYZ sales…how may I direct your call” in between episodes of “Wings”….while she and I would do our nails…waiting for another phone call…I…of course would dress for success…wear a suit and tie…walk from the bathroom dressed and ready….to my desk 8 feet away from the kitchen….you know sort of make that mentality of professionalism work for me…take luch at around 11:00…spend the rest of the day filing through the 751 page business plan I’d written the night before….and move on to bigger and better things….right over there….

going places doesn’t always mean leaving another place…maybe it means looking at something differently to make the trip happen…might be too…that the way we’ve been looking at it might be completely the wrong way….the one way that doesn’t have an exit…since we opted for no doors when we built…that room…and I guess adventure is through the eyes…the feet and hands or the mind….and I was recently asked this question….

Is the experience of doing something better than the memory of the experience?”

I thought that very interesting…as the idea of doing anything does make a memory…and maybe we have a different way of approaching it if we are more driven by creating a memory than having an experience….I think it might be like a photograph…one we can hold in our hands and remember…vs…those pictures in our heads….

“Image is what people perceive my life to be. It’s nothing like the truth.” – David Hasselhoff

427. October 4th….. “Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh’s” ok…….with a parachute…..

Thoughts from the "Tinman"

“Black and Painted hands” 2010

“I used to go away for weeks in a state of confusion.” – Albert Einstein

there are those moments in my life…that are becoming more prevelant…they are the….”Ahhh moments”…not to be confused with the “Aha moments”…as the “Ahhh moments” follow the “Aha moments”…

an “Aha moment” is a moment of temporarily knowing something so clearly and precise that is defining….a moment when the world in which I live…tips on its axis and all is going to change in a big way …and I know I am ready for it….welcome it…dive into it like a pool filled with pudding and I have an enormous spoon in my left hand….an “Ahhh moment”……is that time shortly after the “Aha moment”…..has set it’s teeth into my neck like a vampire….with rubber teeth….one where I can sit in some relaxing postion…feet up…hands clasped behind my head……inhale deeply and “Ahhh” escapes on my exhale…somewhat of a sigh of relief moment….knowing the “Aha moment”…clearly made sense…the direction on the compass is accurate…..and even though I may not understand the everything about how I arrived at this place…..

I also don’t understand how electricity works…or how someone however many years ago decided…based on the smell…that cheese was edible……and I don’t understand….how….a dog became a dog…..or how someone gets cancer…..or why they’re called “Taco shells” and not “Taco holders”…..that kind of stuff….so at that juncture of  confusion  in my…”Ahhh” moments…the confusion becomes pretty benign…..while the ice-cold shower of awareness…..really says a lot more than cold water…..

I think “Ahhh” moments are the result of decisions…..rather than the result of ideas….when a decision has been made….all of the…secret handshakes…a few drops of blood and the signed deal with whatever spiritual entity the deal was made with…(if it was)….completed…..rather an idea is thinking about doing something…maybe like thinking about getting a “Box turtle” instead of being there at the pet store 15 minutes before the doors open on Monday morning with your list of box turtle supplies for Abner’s (Turtles name)……new home…..at your your house….

not all ideas and moments are necessarily …”Aha” ideas or moments…by attaching additional a’s to the end of “Aha”….the word becomes….”Ahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa”…. which is usually the sound seconds before someone is going over the cliff edge…..careening off of the road…..or applying hard pressure to a wound…..so I guess I’m saying….”Aha moments require a first few dates sort of mentality before installing them…..sort of like trying them on for a little while to see if they really fit or you just want them to fit…..no matter what…..

I am discovering….the effortless is usually what causes my…. “Ahhh moments”…. to surface….trying too hard or thinking too much about anything….I find I spend too much time counting toothpicks…..memorizing…..lyrics to songs I don’t care for…..trying on clothes I’m never going to where…or dreaming of careers….I don’t really want to pursue….

I’m calling it the “Easy stuff”…….that makes me say “Ahhh”……that stuff that falls into my hands………….like a foul ball into the left field……bleachers….seat #6…..row #6……..

“We can only be said to be alive in those moments when our hearts are conscious of our treasures.” – Thornton Wilder

426. October 3rd…It’s not the knot….that makes you special…it’s how you tie the knot….

Thoughts from the "Tinman"

“Three Kings” 2010

“Nevertheless, the consuming hunger of the uncritical mind for what it imagines to be certainty or finality impels it to feast upon shadows in the prevailing famine of substance” – Eric Temple Bell

I’ve always loved the end of piece of good rope….how it is intertwined….married in a sense to all of the other fibers that make the entire rope what it is designed to do…..while a  a boy scout…..one of the merit badges I pursued was  Pioneering…..it required learning and tying a variety of knots and finally a series of rope splices…particularly…..an “Eye splice” and an “End splice“….

these are functional splices…that make the rope…somewhat more than just a piece of rope….change the configuration so….that now these splices have elevated mere rope to “Special” rope……as their new function is clearly definable…..as is the use….I’ve not spliced rope in sometime….

once something has been altered….it is different yet remains the same….how that happens in the same bowl of cereal is an amazing event….once we have been altered…we are the same…yet the alteration has made a difference….in us….maybe a slight shift in one direction or a complete throw the hands skyward and the alteration becomes earth shattering….our use is identical….as is our function….unless of course…..it involved sharp twirling objects…broken glass…hydrocloric acid…or high rates of speed…..no headlights…and really steep cliffs….given it didn’t….

we never had to be altered to be “Special”…….there has always been something about our individuality…us….. that ensured we were special…and those wildebeests that migrate to our watering hole…think it’s….”Special”….those that don’t….aren’t missing a thing….

The dictionary has many definitions of Special…I prefer this one:….Special:”pertaining or peculiar to a particular person, thing, instance, etc. ;distinctive; unique” it then stepped a bit further with the synonym for “Special“…the word “Particular.”…. “Particular  implies something selected from the others of its kind and set off from them for attention: a particular variety of orchid.”

I think 31 Flavors should have a “Special” Flavor…one kept secret in a vault somewhere in the mountains….a flavor that when you want your “Special” to come out…you order  a “Single Special”…on a sugar cone or in a cup…and sort of like a few voodoo chants…some sprinkling of the gri gri….and of course the magic sprinkles…in chocolate or rainbow…..the your “Special” pours from you like water through a sieve…..those that notice do…those that don’t….order something else….and there’s no hard feelings…..

I guess if you need to learn to tie knots……to understand the nature of special…it is a skill that can do much more than you think….has a great deal of implications and uses….not to mention you’ll find you have a favorite knot…..mine…it’s a “Truck driver’s knot”….or a “Sheetbend”

I’ve attached a new widget on my page…it a knot tying site….teaches you a new knot everyday…..wow…what a deal……

417. September 22nd…conjugation of the verb… “Intend”…..requires far more than intention….. “I got youuuuu babe”…..

Thoughts from the "Tinman"

“Come on in” 2010

“It is impossible for us to break the law. We can only break ourselves against the law.” – Cecil B. DeMille

Over Stimulation…a state in which the speed of the roller coaster is the least of my worries…..

I love these mornings that begin with a myriad of things to do sort of stacked up like the 8 am Bay bridge toll booth….a giant pez sort of mentality…and I am going to be the toll booth guy or the guy in line waiting…I know who I’d prefer to be…..but once past the booth…I’m moving…otherwise…it’s the same old thing….pretty much all day…the envy is extremely short-lived…..

my dryer is making a rather interesting bird sound….remininscent of a slightly altered version of the song of the “Fluvicola pica“…one of my all time favorites…..

but really….what matters today….is seeing the day….fill itself like a water balloon under the faucet…..the risk of knowing it may break before filled or it might not be filled enough to complete the task it was designed for….and bounce rather than burst…..but either way….it is a water balloon…..and that speaks volumes of the intent….

….the dictionary defines intention as: “an act or instance of determining mentally upon some action or result.”…so undeniably intention is a motivating factor…even if we are unaware of the desire….it ensures really nothing at all though…we may have an intention….but doing it…requires an entirely usable bag of tricks to pull it off….tools we must know how to use well and often…..and I’m certain…intention  that makes our “A” list….we have learned to use those tools blindfolded sound asleep…..and can juggle five at a time with one hand…..with no fear of dropping them…..

intention from a philosophical sense requires 2 elements to be legitimized….an action and a movement…..in art there is intention that often is mixed with an intuitive element that begins the course of the work…. though both of those elements may never be visible….and only a sheer covering embedded in the work somewhere…the intention may not be as important as the end result…..just as the intention may become less important than the action or the movment….and what the intention did was spark the momentum…that turned the wheel that moved the vehicle where it needed to go…so another intention could then be announced…..and like a three-toed tree sloth…the process may be painfully slow and arduous…but neverheless…a destination reached…not necessarily the desired destination….but a process derived from the original intention….that seemed the best most suitable one…..

intention may be…a rather nebulous…match to strike…as it takes more for the intention to actually cause results….it is more of an idea…..like a blind date…you never know what’s going to happen until it does…but having intention with expectation….it ….sort of poisons the intent…..rather than letting it run its course…..and evolve as it will in relation to how you evolve….as the intender…..

I think intention is very much like the movie “Ground Hog Day” with Bill Murray…..it can be painfully the same…..surprisingly different….or full of things that are beneficial….long lasting…and truly to our advantage……

just as long as it doesn’t have anything to do with Sonny and Cher……

“I cannot persuade myself that a beneficent and omnipotent God would have designedly created parasitic wasps with the express intention of their feeding within the living bodies of Caterpillars.” – Charles Darwin

414. September 18th…. “Getting it”…might just mean…. “Accepting it…..

Thoughts from the "Tinman"

“The Right Signs” 2010

“It’s not denial. I’m just selective about the reality I accept. ” – Bill Watterson

pouring coffee…..in the dark…full is full when my finger feels the heat….

figuring anything out…..is worth the effort if the results produces more than blisters on your hands…a  vacation to a mental hospital….or an extended stay at any place that has “State of” preceding it….that’s the beauty of getting it….there are as many ways to….as there are ways not to…..it’s just getting to that point that the method becomes as simple as opening your mouth to fill it with crab Louie….while on vacation to the Bay area….yet getting it…or figuring it out requires that the problem if that’s what you want it call it is spelled out in a few different ways so…the ability to truly understand the method of assault is clearly defined…and not some arbitrary swing in…hopes the pinata breaks on the first hit….

everything worth getting is usually designed to “Get” over some period of time…with some level of frequency….and a large degree of repetition….kind of like….love….it may be elusive….while in pursuit of it….yet when we throw our hands in the air and affirm…”I’m done”…..all of that pursuit begins to unravel…and things really do start to happen….and all of the effort sort of holds you there like the 12 and 1/2 minutes of new/old footage in the Exorcist Redux……getting it is also…a balance of perfection….too much one direction…and getting it becomes a pseudo-religious experience….with far more questions than answers….and little if any result…other than a new wardrobe of flowing intricately patterned robes….cool hats and new rather esoteric sounding names…..while too little….balance…..and the experience is a perpetual one night stand with different women…but they are all named Dolores….so the actions remain the same as does the name calling….

I thinking “Getting it”…can often be seen as an enlightening experience…no more stepping on a floor full of tacks any longer….some torch that has guided us from the dark…led by a mystical deep…yet soft and assuring wisdom evoking voice……..when in reality the right medication and usually a 180 degree turn is ample to make the enlightening experience…no more of a leap of faith than stepping off of the curb…..which I like to do….plant my feet together…arch my back and raise my hands high in the air in my best Olympic dismount fashion…..stare at that invisible golden ord there somewhere above the horizon….deep exhale…..wait for the 9.73…9.71…9.88….etc……

“Getting it”…comes in many ways….and whatever works…works…ultimately isn’t that what we all are after….because once we “Get it”…..all of the rest of the stuff…..sort of rolls down hill…..and maybe that’s the energetics behind it all…I mean it’s really easy to be more pissed off when you’re already pissed to begin with….just as it is easier to accept and give goodness…when your life is encompassed by it…..it’s just deciding to do it…..

I like to think of it as we are all giant boxes of cereal….sure I might say I’d rather be a healthy alternative choice, green, organic cereal…with whole grains, so full of nutrition that just looking at it will clean out your colon for the next decade and sweetened with  some exotic sweetener from deep in the forests of Borneo….but I’m not…my box shows a picture of some guy dressed up like a cowboy……wearing big shiny spurs……sheep skin chaps……a ten gallon hat…wearing a t-shirt with our catch phrase “Get it while you can” on the front…….balancing precariously on one foot high on a tightrope….over a pool full of alligators……cereal spilling from a Jethro Boudin  sized cereal bowl in one hand…and a giant wooden spoon in the other….and musical notes are above his head..lips are puckered like he’s whisteling….and there on the box in lapis blue letters outlined in bright red…..it says….

“2 cups of sugar in every spoonful of Getting It Cereal…super high in sugar…but what the hell you think makes it so tasty”……

“Generally speaking, the Way of the warrior is resolute acceptance of death.” – Miyamoto Musashi