505. March 20th…A fire of Obscurity or an Iceberg of Perspicuity…hmmm….

Art and my thoughts about being an artist, Thoughts from the "Tinman"

“The New Sea of Tranquility” 2011

“What a man calls his “conscience” is merely the mental action that follows a sentimental reaction after too much wine or love.” – Helen Rowland

seppuku is the ritual of suicide…

there is an enormous protocol that goes along with the getting to that place…firstly a dishonorable act had to have been comitted…once that was established…confirmed and decided honor would be regained by suicide…the person responsible had a significant lifestyle change…what they knew was certainly not what they were going to be living up to the day they took their life…they could only wear certain clothes of certain colors…eat with designated utensils…they were free…to do what they wanted…because they were considered an…”honorable man” they were not considered a prisoner….the seppuku was an event…much like a debutante ball with the level of regalia…and hype…

the samurai who was committing seppuku…did so in front of witnesses…dignitaries…his master..etc….he dressed accordingly….sat on a centralized raised wooden platform….contemplated his end…lowered his clothing to expose his abdomen…tucked his sleeves under his knees…so he fell forward…as a gentleman should always die falling forward…the condemed would stab the blade into his left side below his abdomen…pull across to his right and then in an upward motion…the samurai would extend his head and neck forward… this was the sign…the “Kaishaku” (the second cut)…who was appointed by the dishonored would then sever his head…

hopefully….honor was regained….

“I spent most of that time driving through the desert…while he slept…..”wake me up if anything happens”…. he’d say…..I sat on a phone book…thinking of Marcia…and her moving to Mexico that next year…I wondered what 5th grade was like in Mexico….we always stopped at the same place….piss by the back of the truck….had  a Falstaff…beer…he’d let me light his Camel cigarette….I’d watch the smoke disappear in the air…sometimes cough…but more often than not….just be quite….and listen him to tell me about Southeast Asia…and how he was going back there some day….”Going back to Goddamn Vietnam”…..he really said “Vetnam”…left out the “i” but he said a lot of words with left out letters”

Richard Diebenkorn…painted an entire series of paintings on cigar box lids…that clearly illustrated that abstraction can be magnificent with little regard to scale…he originally made these paintings as gifts…not a part of his inventory…and yet they have become a part of his inventory…posthumously…

maybe what starts as one thing …follows it’s course…stays what it is…dies as it is…and becomes something else…because  it gets made that way…not because it has a destiny to be so…but we make it what it is…from what it wasn’t…

there is something very appealing about the nature of obscurity…as the idea that once we recognized and genuinely acknowledge what might be seen as…unimportant and dim…allows for the possibility of perspicuity then to exist…and flourish…

“Art is Art. Everything else is everything else.” – Ad Reinhart

491. February 12th…ShamOuch!!…Who has the time for a bad mug shot

Thoughts from the "Tinman"

“ShamOuch”

“The physician who killed me, Neither bled, purge or pilled me, Nor counted my pulse but it comes to the same, In the height of my fever I thought of his name.” – Nicarchus

the baskets full of razor blades or rabbit fur…..sort of Russian roulette…with everything to lose and everything to gain…and none of it worthwhile to try…..so it was nightfall most of the time…..he’d shot him in the face….leaving me to tend for myself……making sure that my day began well after dark…..and went well into the darker hours…they pulled her like a Popeye cartoon….one direction then another…..until the bullet hit him…..then the pulling just stopped…..and that quiet stayed for a long time….kind of like the white on typing paper”

there is a wonderful peace in my house this morningthe sun is casting beautiful shadows on a curtain…a plant on the inside is bending to move closer to the sunlight...get as much of it as it can…both cats are exhausted from a night of…sleeping….and “Barber’s Adagio For Strings”…fills the room with some musical quiet…and everything is…A Okay….

I wondered this morning…why I make certain the toilet paper…pulls from the top and not the bottom…when replacing a roll…and how much time has been used adjusting the positioning to get it…”Right”…could it literally be days…or even weeks…I don’t know…and I think this is as far as I’m going to take this…but I do think from now on…I’m just going to put it on the roller..and that’s pretty much it…

of course this got me thinking of all of the “rituals” in my life…some…deeply imprinted…those that I’ve mentioned…that keep the earth on it’s axis…and stop major planetary disastors…but the small ones…the direction I stir coffee…why I always cut up chicken a certain way..and not another…when I put on cologne and where…why only one type of toothpaste…rather than experimenting with the 300 varieties available…or my reason for….thumping a watermelon…to somehow know something I didn’t…by a simple thump….I question my ability to judge one item on the menu from another…especially with a type of food I’m very….unfamiliar with…

when I lived on the coast…my bed was portable…it was a mat…I could roll it up and sleep anywhere I wanted…so basically each morning I awakened…in a different place than the day before…like staying at a friend’s house…but all of my stuff was there….I occassioanlly slept out doors when the weather permitted…what I enjoyed most was the idea I had no ritual….other than a pattern of no pattern…and I wasted very little time when it came to getting ready for bed…X marks the spot….

I know I’m not alone in this…some might argue it is easier …while others might say it works better that way….or “I like it like that”….or it even makes a great deal more sense than not….and method far exceeds use or is at least equal to it…but…looking at say toilet paper….it has one purpose…and the delivery is certainly important…but the efficiency and effectiveness…far outweighs which way it unrolls…

Tennessee Williams said….“There is a time for departure even when there’s no certain place to go.” while the Buddha thinks…”It is better to travel well than to arrive.”…

I re-read a post from a blog I follow… one of wonderful words….and ideas…and to use a line from Mrs. Neutron:

In the end it’s about farting around and laughing as much as you can.  It’s about understanding that absolutely ANYTHING goes provided it doesn’t make it more difficult to fart around and laugh.”

I’m not going to spend the time figuring out how much time I’ve spent on adjustment…instead…I am going to just  finish what I’ve started…and finish it with joy…laughter…adventure…and most of all..less ritual…more doing….plus I’ll take that Tennessee Williams/Buddha mentality a little more to heart….

“Ritual will always mean throwing away something: destroying our corn or wine upon the altar of our gods.” – G. K. Chesterton

 

 

 

 

 

460. December 21st… “Mana Sale”….out on Highway 61…2 days only….

Thoughts from the "Tinman", Uncategorized

“My Own Blue Velvet” 2010

“There are many dying children out there whose last wish is to meet me.” – David Hasselhoff

every morning…my cat Elvis and I go through a ritual that I haven’t really known to be a ritual until this morning….

Elvis is a brut of an animal…a gene portion away from his wild predessesors….unpredictable…completely untamable…socially inept and basically a one person cat…and I adore that about him…

Elvis who was originally named Poki…was a born a rogue…an ugly duckling….his eyes were so infected with conjunctivitis the vet warned me  that he may not ever see…my girlfriend laughed at  the straight nub that was a tail…but for some strange reason…I saw all of it differently…each morning I bathed his eyes with warm water and a cloth…put medicine in them until one day they cleared up…he was not blind and could see perfectly…I was elated…as was…he…and so for the first few weeks of life…my face was the first thing he saw every morning as I pried his eyes open…Elvis was determined…he forced his presence on my other cat Traffic…who would sit at the top of the stairs…watch young Elvis…climb laboriously for 30 minutes to the top then with a series of well placed  head strkies…he’d send Elvis back down the steps…to start the process all over again…until the day Elvis developed his…Mana…his cojones…and the household changed…he became the Alpha Cat…and life has pretty much been that way for almost a decade…

Elvis sleeps at the foot of my bed…he wants affection when he wants it…and anything out of his desire is likely to produce a bite or scratch…why put up with that you ask…”It’s just Elvis“….so our ritual is simple…when I sit down in my chair first thing in the morning….he rubs up against both of my legs…his back is arched high…and he is purring loudly…I rub his back until he licks my hand…which basically says…”that was great but stop“…I then pick him up put him over my shoulder for a few rubs…set him on my chest and rub his back again until he again licks my hand….and we are done…

I love Elvis….he is his own cat…doesn’t pretend…if he likes you terrific…if he’s uncertain…about you…he’ll keep his distance…if he doesn’t like you…you’ll know….clearly….

Elvis’ personality

that being said…I like the idea of it all being straightforward…all of the frill…and bs to make it sound like it is something it is not…bothers…me…it’s like the ingredients in hot dogs…”Unknown”…sure everyone’s opinion is different…as are their truths…but deep down we know…or should know our truth…and when we compromise that truth…because we’re lazy…can’t find anything better…give up trying or for any reason that we ignore  our truth…in hopes some alternative to our truth will fill us….we have lost our…Mana…and we have become no one….and will remain no one until….we either change that or accept it….

Mana = “the stuff of which magic is formed,” as well as the substance of which souls are made.”…

no Mana= no magic….no soul….

“Once conform, once do what other people do because they do it, and a lethargy steals over all the finer nerves and faculties of the soul. She becomes all outer show and inward emptiness; dull, callous, and indifferent.” – Virginia Woolf