485. February 3rd…”reverie”…and who thinks of being a hired gun….

Thoughts from the "Tinman"

“One Less Fly Day” 2011

“Have Gun Will Travel. Wire Paladin. San Francisco.” – Paladin’s Business Card

“the stuff that made heroes from…the other boys whose armpits smelled like stale washcloths…and their lips chapped…from licking the salt specks…one by one…on the ocean spray days…there just north of  Roller Coaster Beach…or south of anywhere…that was south of here”

I was born a day dreamer…one of those kids that always looked out of the window…at the smallest anything I could see…I payed little attention…or was so hyper attentive…but never…ever…saw anything called the middle…

I could see anything…in anything…hold a smooth stone in my hand…and for hours see the stone house I wanted to build in the forest…watch a river and ask myself if I were one part of that river…what part would it be and where would I be going… today…I’d dismantle my lunch on the city bus to school… throw the lunch meat and bread at passing cars hoping they’d stick on the windshield…daydream of a fast foot chase through the streets…..yee haw….

my father used to say to me…I was like a shot-gun blast…hard to tell where I was… where I went…or where I was going…and I liked that…especially coming from him…since he was the straight line thinker…one who deviation was plus or minus… .00009…and that was way over the edge…an olympic diver doing a belly flop….for the gold…

and I’m still a day dreamer…and I like it better than ever…because being a day dreamer…allows for the minute inspection of everything we dreamers find interesting…intriguing… want to know and learn…we have a different idea ..what it means and what we do with it…

I have been watching the series Paladin lately…by far the greatest series on the planet…granted it is a little sexist…and racist…but I accept  those parts for what they are based on context and history…I have surmised between gambling and his job as a “Hired gun”…Paladin makes a little over $100,000 a year…he is the classic example of…turning lemons into lemonade…a bad situation always has some redeeming piece to it that inevitably turns the tables…

Paladin…begins each show by pulling his perfectly balanced custom made…Colt 45 from his holster…cocking the pistol and pointing it at the camera…the protagonist then says some gripping line that is the golden egg of dialogue…something that will later turn the tables or end the problem…

Paladin is very Taoist in design….he reads every newspaper…looking for work…. always pays “Heyboy” some money….each episode…the bad guy either turns good…or is killed but never in a very gruesome way…just a quick gunshot from Paladin…fist fights always are punch for punch and end in Paladin knocking the guy to the ground…picking him up…making sure he’s OK…or KOed…gun fights usually have no blood or entry wounds…except on Paladin…and they are almost always…glancing upper arm shots…not vital wounds…Paladin often appears as if he is going to the other side when in reality he is out witting the other side… “beating them at their own game”….

and I guess I enjoy the endings by far the most…they usually end with a bit of mystery…like Paladin walking up stairs…whispering something into a beautiful woman’s ear…then turning and laughing out loud…or the person/people he has helped…say something with a great deal of morality…and they all end up laughing out loud…

I once held a piece of bronze jewelry in hand…when I was 7…I daydreamed of being a jeweler…

Paladin is defined as: an advocate or defender of a noble cause…

what more noble cause is there than daydreaming?…….

“He does not need opium. He has the gift of reverie.”

 

 

 

 

 

419. September 24th…Does…. “Non-Opposite” ……mean…..the same?…I like… “Non-Undead” ….it clearly means you’re not a Zombie….

Thoughts from the "Tinman"

“I was born a Non-Conformist” 2010

“There are three side effects of acid: enhanced long-term memory, decreased short-term memory, and I forget the third.” – Timothy Leary

I remember the first bicycle I ever had….it was very small and was made in England….sort of a glossy brick-red with some interesting stickers on it….my brother called it an “English Racer”…just by the name…I felt there was a quality to the bike that had yet to be exploited…and it was my destiny to discover what the abilities of boy and bike were capable of….the bicycle was broken beyond repair in less than 3 weeks….due to a rather…..over zealous desire to push the limits of what could be endured on two wheels…my next bicycle…epitomized….the word “Groovy”….metalic purple…with a white tuck and roll banana seat….high chrome sissy bar….and a new development called a “Drag Brake”….completely designed for the aesthetic…as the functional quality was much like using your heels as brakes for stopping an automobile….but damn did it look good…a handle with a series of pre-designated slots that engage the brakes…to absolutely no avail….. unless the bike was entirely stationary…there was a slight…hint of resistance….

in the summer of 1967…I heard the Rolling Stones…song… “Paint it Black”…that song altered every way I thought about anything….

well today may be one of those days…and as I say that I’m not certain exactly what “One of those days” really means…other than I should probably pay more attention…wear my glasses…..and ignore the distractions as well as the deep conversations….I mean after all it is Friday…and as nebulous as that is…I may be trying to apply that to my thinking….and find some crevasse to begin chipping away at…until there is a large enough space to squeeze myself in to….where it becomes impossible to pull me out….who knows….or maybe it’s just the opposite…and in 12 hours…I’ll be getting married to a woman I met just 6 hours before….that…..and the roller coaster is getting cranked up a few notches….the sun is setting….and I’m holding not 1 but two turkey legs in my hands…and thinking….”Aint life grand“…..

I have always like words with “Non“…preceding them….and I think because…in order to be called a “Non” anything…the person calling you that has to really feel you are the antithesis of the original thing…and I like that….being a “Non“…..anything is like being a  Highlander…wearing a kilt…..and maybe a tie….or even a bow tie…..seems really out of the ordinary unless it’s not…..and those of you who know what I mean…know exactly what I mean…..but really the “Non“…anything has a great deal of power….because it clearly says….you are not “That“…but doesn’t say what you are….so you could be “Non -Religious“…but spiritual…..and it even says what you are not…..but defines what you could very well be….by the process of elimination…..example….”I am a Non-Conformist“….so that says you don’t conform to some things…but you do conform to some things…..

I think it would be interesting to describe who we are by what we are not….that really defines who we are….with no questions…so when I meet someone…I’ll say:

Hi my name is Robert…( that’s the only Non – Non…I’ll be saying) I am  Non-republican….a Non-Minority- originally a Non-Westerner…. with Non-Conformists attitudes and beliefs….I prefer a Non-Humid climate……I am definitely Non-Religious….a Non Fundamentalist and have a Non- Creationist belief…. I feel that living a Non-Spiritual life may very well offer a void….I am clearly Non-bimillennophobic….and when it comes to spontinaity…I’m as Non-Undead as they get…..

I don’t know if this increases or decreases chances of anything…but I’d rather be a  “Non-Anything” than just a “Thing

“I don’t even call it violence when it’s in self defense; I call it intelligence.” – Malcolm X

enjoy your Friday…..

417. September 22nd…conjugation of the verb… “Intend”…..requires far more than intention….. “I got youuuuu babe”…..

Thoughts from the "Tinman"

“Come on in” 2010

“It is impossible for us to break the law. We can only break ourselves against the law.” – Cecil B. DeMille

Over Stimulation…a state in which the speed of the roller coaster is the least of my worries…..

I love these mornings that begin with a myriad of things to do sort of stacked up like the 8 am Bay bridge toll booth….a giant pez sort of mentality…and I am going to be the toll booth guy or the guy in line waiting…I know who I’d prefer to be…..but once past the booth…I’m moving…otherwise…it’s the same old thing….pretty much all day…the envy is extremely short-lived…..

my dryer is making a rather interesting bird sound….remininscent of a slightly altered version of the song of the “Fluvicola pica“…one of my all time favorites…..

but really….what matters today….is seeing the day….fill itself like a water balloon under the faucet…..the risk of knowing it may break before filled or it might not be filled enough to complete the task it was designed for….and bounce rather than burst…..but either way….it is a water balloon…..and that speaks volumes of the intent….

….the dictionary defines intention as: “an act or instance of determining mentally upon some action or result.”…so undeniably intention is a motivating factor…even if we are unaware of the desire….it ensures really nothing at all though…we may have an intention….but doing it…requires an entirely usable bag of tricks to pull it off….tools we must know how to use well and often…..and I’m certain…intention  that makes our “A” list….we have learned to use those tools blindfolded sound asleep…..and can juggle five at a time with one hand…..with no fear of dropping them…..

intention from a philosophical sense requires 2 elements to be legitimized….an action and a movement…..in art there is intention that often is mixed with an intuitive element that begins the course of the work…. though both of those elements may never be visible….and only a sheer covering embedded in the work somewhere…the intention may not be as important as the end result…..just as the intention may become less important than the action or the movment….and what the intention did was spark the momentum…that turned the wheel that moved the vehicle where it needed to go…so another intention could then be announced…..and like a three-toed tree sloth…the process may be painfully slow and arduous…but neverheless…a destination reached…not necessarily the desired destination….but a process derived from the original intention….that seemed the best most suitable one…..

intention may be…a rather nebulous…match to strike…as it takes more for the intention to actually cause results….it is more of an idea…..like a blind date…you never know what’s going to happen until it does…but having intention with expectation….it ….sort of poisons the intent…..rather than letting it run its course…..and evolve as it will in relation to how you evolve….as the intender…..

I think intention is very much like the movie “Ground Hog Day” with Bill Murray…..it can be painfully the same…..surprisingly different….or full of things that are beneficial….long lasting…and truly to our advantage……

just as long as it doesn’t have anything to do with Sonny and Cher……

“I cannot persuade myself that a beneficent and omnipotent God would have designedly created parasitic wasps with the express intention of their feeding within the living bodies of Caterpillars.” – Charles Darwin