498. February 25th…You just may already be a wiener…

Thoughts from the "Tinman"

“Once upon a time” 2011

“Searching for what I need, and I don’t even know precisely what that is, I was going from a man to a man, and I saw that all of them together have less than me who has nothing, and that I left to each of them a bit of that what I don’t have and I’ve been searching for.” – Ivo Andric

I’ve always expected arrival to be like a scene from the Wizard of OZ…all of the hoopla…masses of really small people in the street…waring vividly colored clothes…strange vehicles that don’t look like anything I’ve ever seen before…and everyone has a pretty different unusual haircut…and I guess that’s the way I’ve seen it so…my expectation sort of revolves around that…in essence…when I see that…scene in reality…one of two things has happened…I have arrived..at some place….or..walked on to the set of the remake of the Wizard of Oz…either way…it would be alright…

it’s never just blue…there always has to be something attached to it that defines the “Blue”…as something other than any other blue…don’t believe me walk into a an art store and ask for just “Blue”….and maybe the separation of the things most people see as the same…are also what make them very different…

my father often acted as if didn’t care what “it” was…”just give me one of them“…is what he would often say…like scoops of ice cream…but the guy scooping the ice cream damn well better make certain it’s either butter pecan…or pralines and cream…and what this bizarre game did was give my father a reason to…find something for everyone involved to question…get a little confused about…wonder…

my cats do this to me all of the time…well I’ve come to believe they do this based on some strange reason…I have developed…they meow…I say “What”…”What do you want”…”Do you guys need food?”…”Maybe you need water”…”You’re not sick or anything are you?”…and we go through this business of trying to figure out who needs what…when and why…the other day…I found a video of cats meowing on Youtube…and decided to see what happens when I played it for them…well they did exactly what I do…except without the English…and articulation…they both sat there staring at the screen of my phone…with WTF expressions and in silence….I have this video as a favorite and play it every time they meow….it’s working…and I say…”See…see what I mean”….

I realize my cats lack the internal intellectual capacity to contemplate this concept…and the ice cream guy is scooping because it’s a job and past that it stops…but anyone who is looking for something from someone else…has it all wrong that being said…Bodhidharma is credited with saying:

“But deluded people don’t realize that their own mind is the Buddha. They keep searching outside.”

and I’m not a Buddhist…but the concept is brilliant…change a word…and presto…the sentence takes on a brand new meaning…and you don’t need a really sharp stick in the eye…to get it…

most of my life I’ve been an ice cream scooper…and unfortunately by circumstance yet….the other day it all opened up wide and joy poured in…for the very first time in my life…never to evaporate…and it…is exactly like he’d said….everything would be like everything else…and it is…

I always have told my students…”I don’t have your answers…I’ll help you find them though“…and my instructor when I was a child told me something along those lines as well…and of course it made no sense…it was one of those time bomb things that one day…forty plus years later the explosion happened…and I looked skyward…and said “Wow…that Mr. Hiyashi…really knew his stuff“….

“It is better to know some of the questions than all of the answers.” – James Thurber

472. January 14th…Carolyn Davidson was paid $35.00 for the Nike Logo….and who was the other guy in the Eurythmics….

Art and my thoughts about being an artist, Writings from the "Cuff'

“Not a bad View” 2011

“Humanity is the rich effluvium, it is the waste and the manure and the soil, and from it grows the tree of the arts.” – Ezra Pound

Tao Te Ching…Chapter 56  the first lines of the passage are:

Those who know do not talk.
Those who talk do not know.

it continues on and ends with:

He who has achieved this state
Is unconcerned with friends and enemies,
With good and harm, with honor and disgrace.
This therefore is the highest state of man.

I woke….this morning wondering about…announcement…and those who feel it  necessary to broadcast their intentions…for me it leaves but a small bit of unraveled string as the end result…

I’ve rarely if ever have heard an announcement…that doesn’t have a head on both ends…one that announces the deed…while the other announces that the person doing the deed…is becoming a  bit more elevated by the announcement…sort of them giving themselves a medal for being a great person…before they deserve the medal for being a great person…yet deserve it by intention and desire…those people who struggle for what they want to be…fill in the blanks with…”I’m going to”…and I guess it tells the world…”I’m still on track”…when the world really doesn’t care….much…nor do most people…

something about letting your mouth overload your ass…a few times…until you get it makes it much easier to do the deed…then make the announcement…pray for rain so any ceremony that might have taken place gets canceled…rescheduled or misplaced….

maybe…announcements should follow actions that are aligned with the announcement…kind of like Dorothy in the Wizard of Oz….when every single Munchkin said…”follow the yellow brick road“…she literally followed the yellow brick road…when she could have taken the short cut…instead she walked from the point of the spiral…repeating the intention….yellow brick road step by step…right on out of Munchkin land to parts unknown…her intention was clear from the beginning…made some cool friends…got a pair of ruby slippers…a chance to meet OZ and see he was the epitome of “announcement”…with a great deal of smoke and mirrors…and not a lot of gas….

does announcing to the world…that you are going to…feed the poor…help the homeless…garden an hour each day…pay it forward….create every day…knock on doors save the world…recycle more….drive less each week…take the bus…leave a smaller carbon footprint…convert to solar…be more present….empathetic…compassionate…and loving…really matter…it only matters if what you say you are going to do…you do…and chances are…it may never be noticed except by those who are the beneficiaries….

“There is nothing in the world more shameful than establishing one’s self on lies and fables.” – Johann Wolfgang von Goethe


 

 

416. September 21st…Reality…will return in 20 minutes…..

Thoughts from the "Tinman"

“The Real Wizard” 2010

“I have become death, the destroyer of worlds.” – J. Robert Oppenheimer

sometimes what appears….is nothing close to what it really is…..maybe it’s the make-up or the mask or maybe it looked like a cat when it crossed the road in the headlights….yet was a black trash bag….so was it a cat…or is it a trash bag….maybe it is/was both at the same time….today feels like a day of many folds….much like Damascus steel…long before it is hammered out….and polished….where the beauty and cross section has not yet been reveled…but is hidden well beneath the surface…and the crust of the metal…..

as a change in season creeps….so does a deep desire to change along with it…… maybe plant myself thin atop the surface….pull everything in a little tighter….talk less and listen more…..make the things in my life….beautiful…those that just need the wrapper removed to reveal…..the tree to the west of my house is dumping it’s fruit into my backyard…a sure sign things are moving another direction and moving quickly…..yet not quick enough to make notice….each second or even every minute….

somedays I don’t now what is real or not….and I’ve given up questioning the reality of it’s authenticity….it is real no matter what….at least for that time…..as the questions…sort of add fragility to the equation…and make it all like an ice crystal on the window….forgetting any thoughts of the future…or plans…..or what it might become…rather seeing it…for what it is…..taking my mental Polaroid snapshot….and filing it away for…another time…another recall…another ice crystal to remind me….that I’ve done something kind of like this…but not even close to this….so the experience becomes a brand new series of familiarity…. contradiction… synonymous….removed and full of the unfamiliar with the slight fragrance of baking bread……that reminds me of days when I was six……so how do I explain any of that….

it is a way of doing it all that allows me to keep getting to where I belong…..not questioning the small little lines that twist and turn…go different directions….and end up under some huge boulder…..rather….it’s the big pieces of the rope….the ones that tie me…secure me…..that I chose to struggle against….and maybe because I don’t understand…..or want to know…..or feel that a life of smaller threads….gives me much more than anything else…..and I can put them away….in my pocket…..walk and whistle at the same time….comb my hair to the right….dream those night time dreams where it all is smooth and clear…..or think of those days….I’d prefer not to be me……but instead….

the Wizard of Oz…..

“Attachment is the great fabricator of illusions; reality can be attained only by someone who is detached.” – Simone Weil